appropriate behavior for a 10yo

alibee09 · December 2011

A friend of mine is looking for some advice. Apparently, the girl she nannies, who is 10, has started rooting around her mom (much like an infant trying to breastfeed). From what I gather, maybe she's just rubbing her face in her mom's breasts? Since my kids are 3 and 1, I know this is appropriate behavior for their ages, but I'm not sure what the expectation is for a 10yo. She wants to know if there's a way to diplomatically approach the situation to let the mom know her feelings about it (but again, IMO, I'm not sure if this is something that is appropriate at all to approach or if it's a "let the mom do her own parenting" sort of situation).

Essentially, I'd love to know the thoughts of moms with kids who are a little older than my own.

Kids faces in your boobs: DISCUSS!

futrkingsley · December 2011

Unless it seemed like the child had issues with boundaries in other ways (touching other adults on private parts or something), I'd leave it alone.

I hope that when my kid is 10 he has stopped nuzzling my boobs or using them as his security item. For now, they are hard-core his safe place. He occassionally attempts to "hold" someone else's out of habit while snuggling and reading stories (with my mom or his aunts for example) but it's not like he's grabbing other people in the boobs (which we redirect of course and explain again about boundaries).

KellyMRocks · December 2011

I wouldn't bring it up unless she was doing it to her (the nanny). Otherwise, what business is it of hers?

alibee09 · December 2011

That's sort of my take on it, too.

Celyn · December 2011

It's a bit peculiar, but unless she sees other things that are worrisome, she should leave it alone.

alibee09 · December 2011

The only other behavior she described to me seemed attention-seeking: that the child was fine when mom wasn't home but the minute mom got there, she would complain that her stomach hurt, etc., etc.

Mama_v2.0 · December 2011

I don't get a face but occasionally I get hands from the oldest. I think for DD it is curiosity (I still BF the youngest) and maybe a way to get my full attention (like a skill she picked up when she was a baby/toddler.) I would tell the nanny to leave it alone.

KellyMRocks · December 2011

Mama_v2.0:
I don't get a face but occasionally I get hands from the oldest. I think for DD it is curiosity (I still BF the youngest) and maybe a way to get my full attention (like a skill she picked up when she was a baby/toddler.) I would tell the nanny to leave it alone.

Ditto. G wasn't BF'd but would pat them when he needed loves. Now that is 5 and WR is nursing, he will snuggle mine, especially when WR is there too. It might make others uncomfortable based on their own sexualization of the breast, but to a 10 year old, they likely only have experience with breasts as comfort.

skirby · December 2011

I teach ten-year-olds, and I really think this is odd...but, it sounds like it's attention seeking for the mom, and it's for her to deal with. Like everyone said, I would only address the issue if it begins happening to her.

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