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Contempt order

JCGreene85JCGreene85 member
in Single Parents

Has anyone had their lawyer file a contempt order? Ex hasn't paid since before our modification, including the back support and past medical expenses. I agreed to a lower amount that was less that what the state granted. You'd figure he'd pay? I'm just getting frustrated that he can afford his plane tickets, nice apartment, iphone and all his other toys while mooching off his girlfriend.

His lawyer is also working for him for free, so I will be requesting that he pay my lawyer fees for this. What happens in a contempt hearing? Would I go? I am assuming he would have to come in-state for it..  

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Re: Contempt order

  • achase123achase123
    No more "deals" for him now.  Remember, nice gets you nowhere.  I don't know the formalities around contempt cases but I know a few other ladies on here have had to deal with it.  I think that the judge makes them explain why they are behind on CS, figures out what actions to take going forward, etc.  I think it is a good idea you're requesting that he pay your attorney fees.
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  • PrettyInPearls23PrettyInPearls23 member
    My XH had to attend a contempt hearing when he was $3k in arrears. My attorney suggested I attend so XH couldn't tell the referee that he had been paying me "under the table" (which he wasn't anyway) or something else. XH wanted me to attend so I could tell the referee about our "arrangement". (I had agreed to waive his arrears in exchange for deducting it from the dollar amount I owed him for his half of the equity in our house).
     
    One good thing to come out of the contempt hearing is that XH had to provide the Friend of the Court with his employer's information. They talked to him like a child and said "You've worked here how long? Three months? Really? And why haven't you gotten this information to us?" Needless to say, wage garnishment started shortly thereafter.

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  • sweetie0228sweetie0228 member

    I go to Rule Court for his failure to pay CS nearly every year since 2002.  I can only speak to PA procedings but they seem to be similar for most states More or Less.

    Basically, You go and be there early b/c you don't want to miss role call.  Then the lawyers for Domestic Relations (enforcement agency in PA) run anound and talk to everyone there and try to get the "deals".  They will talk to you and youre ex separately.  They try to get the Deliquent to plead guilty of contempt and have a "good faith" payment and the arears.  Then they put the deliquent on "probabtion" but it's not like a civil case probation means they have to pay in full every month for a year or they go directly to jail and stay there for 6 months or till the "purge" amount is paid.  The purge amount is not the arrearage, it's only the amount behind they became while on probation.

    They also set up a new payment structure where the Deliquent pays full CS monthly Plus a little more ($20, $50, $100...) to whittle away the arrearage.

    The judge calls you both up and you both state in front of the judge that you understand the agreement and it's acceptable.

    I have taken to saying a statement of how many years I've been accepting a probation arrangement from him and it still lands us back here.  I explaing that OUR children do not deserve his unwillingness to pay for their care.  And while I can't make him be a supportive loving father, with the courts ruling, your honor, you can make him a financially responsible father.

     

    This usually gets a response from the judge who will actually look at the file in front of them and give a verbal lashing to my ex (in front of both his mommy, whose paying his good faith payment and his GF who undoubtablly thinks I'm a gold digging b!tch who keeps the children away from him.)  I have seen judges immediately have the Deliquent shackled and taken to jail.  Not my ex yet...but someday.

    It's emotionally draining for me to go and pretend I'm not me but I'm the advocate for me and the children.  I take the whole day off usually b/c I need it.

    Dress for court.  Wear a business suit or the BEST clothes you have and make sure you are clean and put together.  You will be sitting with the great unwashed and there will be guys there and their clingers who smell like the bar from the night before.  You look as close to a lawyer you can get.  Appearances really do make a difference.

    No Emotion and only say OUR children not My children.  Keep it in court that he's responsible for them too.

     

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  • JCGreene85JCGreene85 member
    imagesweetie0228:

    I go to Rule Court for his failure to pay CS nearly every year since 2002.  I can only speak to PA procedings but they seem to be similar for most states More or Less.

    Basically, You go and be there early b/c you don't want to miss role call.  Then the lawyers for Domestic Relations (enforcement agency in PA) run anound and talk to everyone there and try to get the "deals".  They will talk to you and youre ex separately.  They try to get the Deliquent to plead guilty of contempt and have a "good faith" payment and the arears.  Then they put the deliquent on "probabtion" but it's not like a civil case probation means they have to pay in full every month for a year or they go directly to jail and stay there for 6 months or till the "purge" amount is paid.  The purge amount is not the arrearage, it's only the amount behind they became while on probation.

    They also set up a new payment structure where the Deliquent pays full CS monthly Plus a little more ($20, $50, $100...) to whittle away the arrearage.

    The judge calls you both up and you both state in front of the judge that you understand the agreement and it's acceptable.

    I have taken to saying a statement of how many years I've been accepting a probation arrangement from him and it still lands us back here.  I explaing that OUR children do not deserve his unwillingness to pay for their care.  And while I can't make him be a supportive loving father, with the courts ruling, your honor, you can make him a financially responsible father.

     

    This usually gets a response from the judge who will actually look at the file in front of them and give a verbal lashing to my ex (in front of both his mommy, whose paying his good faith payment and his GF who undoubtablly thinks I'm a gold digging b!tch who keeps the children away from him.)  I have seen judges immediately have the Deliquent shackled and taken to jail.  Not my ex yet...but someday.

    It's emotionally draining for me to go and pretend I'm not me but I'm the advocate for me and the children.  I take the whole day off usually b/c I need it.

    Dress for court.  Wear a business suit or the BEST clothes you have and make sure you are clean and put together.  You will be sitting with the great unwashed and there will be guys there and their clingers who smell like the bar from the night before.  You look as close to a lawyer you can get.  Appearances really do make a difference.

    No Emotion and only say OUR children not My children.  Keep it in court that he's responsible for them too.

     

     

    Thank you so much for your amazing advice (everyone else too!) I really love the bolded part.  My lawyer said he write up the order, I just have to sign the affidavit to get this going. I'll keep everyone updated 

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