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The Biting Toddler and Biting Back

Megan_JMegan_J
in Parenting
Ok, so my daughter is 16 months old and smart as a whip. Can follow commands and answer questions with nodding of her head yes and no. Has vocabulary of about 20ish words. I also have a 4 yr old son. My son NEVER went through a biting stage but was the victims of another biter at day care and had many incidents over the years. My daughter has been biting over the last month and a bit. Its been solely her brother that she is biting. I have worked really hard to try to interrupt her when she attempts it and if im not quick enough I remove her and scold her on time outs etc. She graduated the other day to also biting me when I was removing her from the dogs dishes for about the 3rd time. This method is clearly not working. Not wanting my child to inflict pain on another, like my son had done to him.....do you try the old "bite her back" approach? My mom did it with me and my other siblings and swears it works and same with my in-laws. I would not consider this attempt of teaching her as abuse and have no intention of repeatedly biting her. I don't want to do it but need her to stop and learn.....does it work? Do I dare?
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Re: The Biting Toddler and Biting Back

  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member

    No matter how brilliant your 16mo she is too young to learn from time-outs.  She might sit there but she is not taking it as punishment.  I have never heard any suggestions that this is old enough for time-outs so that method is never going to work except to remove her from the situation, do not expect her to learn from it and not do it again b/c of a time-out.

    As for biting your toddler, just the thought of putting my teeth on my own child seriously makes me feel ill.  And to think that this is a proper way to make your child learn not to bite sounds insane to me, and you will only hear from the people where it "worked", you will never hear the people who actually taught their child that biting was ok because even Mommy does it to show she is mad.  Hell, my DD kicked me in the face today when she was playing on the couch after being told not to, maybe if I kicked her back she would learn not to mess with Mommy.

    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • JermysgirlJermysgirl member
    I'll probably get flamed for this, but I used dog training methods with DD and they worked really well. When puppies bite too hard, the mother or even the other puppies make a loud yelp and then ignore the biter. That method worked really well when DD went through her biting phase. Plus she sits and stays like a champion. LOL
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  • lsufanlsufan
    My mom suggested the same thing, but I thought biting them back was kind of nutso.  We did a lot of redirecting, reminding that biting hurts, etc.  They all grew out of it.
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  • CMMC23CMMC23
    For us, my son started biting while nursing at 11 months or so. I was given the advice to say, "Ouch, biting hurts. No biting!" And to immediately stop nursing for 10 minutes or so. Worked like a charm. Around 14/15 months he started biting me when frustrated or angry. I said the same thing (at which point he usually starts crying) and I would walk away and not pick him up for a few. It took a week or so but worked again.
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  • KatieLG04KatieLG04
    Do not bite back.  That is reportable to DHS.  I know it is all good intentions and DHS would probably not do anything if there have not been other concerns, but any mandated reporter could report you for it.  Just wanted to give a heads up since the state looks at a lot of things differently than they did 30 years ago.
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    imageJermysgirl:
    I'll probably get flamed for this, but I used dog training methods with DD and they worked really well. When puppies bite too hard, the mother or even the other puppies make a loud yelp and then ignore the biter. That method worked really well when DD went through her biting phase. Plus she sits and stays like a champion. LOL
    No flame from me for "yelping" and letting your child know it hurt, I will pretend cry sometimes if I think my child does not know what they did could hurt.  That is a far cry from biting a 1yo!
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • springplumspringplum
    What does your son taste like that everyone wants to bite him?
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