made an appt
amandajb1
member
Ok, I didnt make the appt yet but I just emailed my therapist because I think I need to see her. I have a 4 week old daughter with severe reflux so no one is sleeping. I keep blaming myself for her discomfort, which I do think some of it is me, I think she also has a food allergy so what I am eating is bother her but I am trying to work on figuring that out.
I feel like giving up, she is so miserable, breaks my heart and I just can't take it.
Aside from that I get scared, this happend with my first daughter too, I am not going to hurt her but I am scared that something might come over me and that I will. Like I wont give her (or my first daughter when she was a baby) a bath when I am alone because what if I drown her. Or go outside near my parents pool because what if I throw her in. Again I have never tried to do this just scared something will come over me.
I have no interest in Christmas this year, don't even care if we get a tree or anything. I don't know what going on. I have a hx of anxiety and OCD.
Anyone else have anything like this?
Re: made an appt
I don't share all of your issues, but I do some.
My girl started life with reflux. Sure, you could take blame for some of that because of your genes. But go ahead and pass that blame onto your husband and your parents for giving her those genes! But yes. watching her cry in pain is hearbreaking. It wasn't until she were on 2 different meds that things got better for us.
The fear that you might do something is troubling. Even if you never do, that fear sounds like it could be paralizing, especially if it gets worse. If you aren't already getting help, do so. Set up an appointment with the pediatrician to talk about treating the reflux (if you haven't already). Set up an appointment with your GP, OB, someone to talk about your feelings. Everything you describe is normal, but it is treatable. And you deserve to enjoy this stage of motherhood (as much as possible, considering the lack of sleep involved. boo)