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Anxiety related to baby and trouble caring for her

MamatoA2010MamatoA2010 member
in Postpartum Depression

HI ladies. This post is going to be a little long. Sorry. Just bare with me.

DD is 22 months old. For the longest time, the entire time of DD's life, I have been getting anxiety over when she cries. She is not the easiest baby (well, no toddler is I guess) but she cries and throws tantrums multiple times a day out of nowhere sometimes. I get so anxious when she cries that I won't know why she's crying and what she wants. Its been like this for almost 2 years now, since she was born. I'm also going through a divorce so maybe thats causing some of the bad behavior and tantrums :(

I am on 10 mg of Zyprexa and 20 mg of Prozac per the advice of a psychiatrist but they don't seem to be helping at all with the anxiety. Let me also add that I am not depressed at all so I'm thinking that this is not PPD (especially being 22 months after I gave birth). Its also very hard for me to take care of her and I feel like I'm a bad mom because I can't take care of her everyday (STBXH takes her almost every weekend and she goes to day care 3 days a week so I'm only left taking care of her really only a couple days a week). I feel terrible about this. I love her and am trying to be the best mom I can be but I just can't handle taking care of her day in and day out. Its just too hard Crying Again, I feel horrible about this. I'm also living with my parents and they help me take care of her during the days that she doesn't have day care and is home with me.

I guess I just want to know if I'm alone in my situation or if anyone feels similar. Any thoughts on how to rectify this? Feedback? Anyone have any advice? TIA!

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Re: Anxiety related to baby and trouble caring for her

  • Kristine SchillingKristine Schilling

    your not alone. Your in the middle of a divorce, which is stressful, with a toddler, which can be tough.

    Talk to Dr about a change in meds.

    It is very natural and normal to be anxious when your child crys. It just shouldnt paralise(sp?) you.

    You can also talk to a therapist about her behavior, they may be able to help you find the cause, or a copeing method.

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  • rosesandpeoniesrosesandpeonies member

    First and foremost don't feel horrible.  It sounds like there is a lot of stress with the divorce and let me tell you my 2 yr old is not all that easy either.

    I personally would just call the psychiatrist about it.  The meds actually can make you more anxious if they are not working for you properly.  So even just a small change in meds might help a little.  Sometimes it takes a little while to find the right meds for yourself and even then they might need to be changed over time.

    Although it can be totally normal too.   I am myself exhausted and overextended sometimes.  My anxiety can get very high also.  All of us get that mommy guilt by the way.  I get it all of the time over different things.  Please know you are not a bad mom!!!  You are doing a great job and making decisions for her best interest which makes you a wonderful mommy.  

    I am so sorry about all of the anxiety and stress.  I am right there with you in some ways.  I am having marital problems and I have my two little girls that are 18 months apart.  Not easy. 

    DD (8/12/09), DD (2/8/11)
    BFP 12/16/14| EDD 8/19/15 |MMC 1/15/15 (9 weeks 1 day)
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  • BritneyMichelleBritneyMichelle
    I think you really need to work on your self confidence... it seems to be affecting your ability to handle stressful situations when baby cries. It would seem you don't know the "right thing to do," when you probably actually do. Take an assertive attitude next time you're in this situation, rather than letting your anxieties control you.

    don't forget... sometimes, babies just cry; I'm assuming it's not too much different with a toddler. You've made it thus far, so I think you're judging your capabilities at handling a situation such as this a bit too seriously. If it is seriously "too hard," then I'd consider finding an adoptive home that CAN provide for her emotional needs. Otherwise, stop and think. This is your baby, you CAN do this. 

    Perhaps it's a negative way for her to get attention from you???? (negative attention is still attention for kids)
     
    Say it again: This is YOUR baby, and you CAN do this. Deep breath.

    Sometimes, it does feel like it's just too hard... just think of the times when baby is sleeping in your arms (maybe you need to do this more often?) and you can just look at her peaceful form... Remember, she isn't purposely being at brat at this age.. she just doesn't know how to properly express herself. 

    Hope this helps and I hope you feel better! :)  Good luck with the divorce, I hope it doesn't turn too ugly. Don't feel bad for needing help in these stressful times.. stress levels will make it harder to cope.. try and find a relieving outlet, something good for your soul.. like meditation or yoga. Happy Holidays and best wishes!!
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  • BritneyMichelleBritneyMichelle
    As for medications??? I don't believe they truly work (yes, I have had prescribed medications before). You need to find some sort of happy replacement for them.. otherwise they just become habit. You need to rely on yourself for control of yourself.. not meds. Go through the "checklist" you went through when baby was a newborn. "changed? fed? nap? bored?"; etc. It may help you stay calm and in control of your anxiety. She's just trying to communicate with you... instead of focusing on not being able to figure out what she's saying.. focus on what you KNOW. If you've done everything you can do (there's only so much you can do, ya know?).. and she's still fussy? Put her in a safe place and take a much needed break. Just kiss her on the forehead and assure her you love her and that you'll be there when she wakes up if she wants to take a nap and feel better. Then go in there periodically and check on her. :)
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  • MamatoA2010MamatoA2010 member
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