Christmas dance recital- vent/eyeroll of myself

Emiliana7 · December 2011

DD had her Christmas dance recital today. Her first time on a stage, so I knew it would be scary for her and didn't really expect her to do 'great'.

However, my DD was the one that did NOTHING! stood there and sucked her thumb. oh well. At least she stayed on stage (another kid in another dance didn't) and she didn't cry. She didn't do any of the moves, but she stayed on the stage.

She would do her dance for us in the living room and was fine- so it was the big-ness of the stage and all the people there. I feel her pain. I always had stagefright too.

Never mind the cost ($60 costume, $15 recital fee, $4 tickets)- but the time I spent fixing her costume- had to adjust the straps on her leotard, had to resize accessories. Whereas none of the other kids in her class, their parents, took time to fix their costumes. A few had safety pins pinning the straps together, had to tie off a few of the accessories to make fit.

Anyway, I guess I am just venting and eyerolling at myself because of the time I put into it when I could have not done so much.

I am thinking if she's not better at the May recital, I'm not going to have her do dance next year. Either that, or if she likes taking the classes but not doing recitals, I'll need to fidn a school that does just the classes without recitals, or recitals that are optional.

kittylove · December 2011

I am sorry you put so much effort into the recital and she wouldn't do it. That is kids though. I am not a fan of pulling from a class because she won't do the recital, so I would vote to maybe find another dance class or just opt out. Our gymnastics had the winter recital this month and we opted out. DS wasn't ready for it.

UsedToBeGoldie · December 2011

awe- that's cute though.

remember that kids learn a LOT from being in a dance class - it's not about the recital- that's just a bonus for the parents, really.

My older son cried his eyes out at his first class performance (he was 2.5yo) - and the only one who cried in his class. I felt HORRIBLE with him up on stage so sad.

last year i was SO nervous about him... and he freakin' rocked it! He LOVED being on stage - and has done a few performances now with school and church and is awesome at it.

This year is his first dance recital and I can't wait - and i'll be totally fine if he freezes - it's all about the experience and the memories- and they're all good.

MrsBalletStar05 · December 2011

DS did like one or two of the moves at his recital in may. He spent the rest of the time trying to hug the girl next to him (which, coincidentally he now says he wants to marry. Ha!) yeah, I was honestly impressed he just stayed in his spot on stage. it happens. It's very common. They will get over it. At least she stayed on the stage and didn't cry! Growing up there was one girl that cried EVERY SINGLE YEAR and wouldn't want to get on stage so the teacher would have to carry them on. It's something they outgrow.

Pesky · December 2011

It's totally common at that age. We had DD's "open house"/recital today and one of the girls just cried her eyes out. It was basically akin to herding cats at that age so I was impressed they did as well as they did. I'd wait a bit and see how she does, provided she likes dance. DD has decided she doesn't want to dance any longer so we will miss the big spring recital.

shopgirl78 · December 2011

I think its totally normal and you may have set your expectations a little high. DD's first (Xmas) recital was at 3pm in the afternoon. For a 3 year old in a crowded room, it was bad (it was just a large room with no stage). It was in the middle of nap and we had did some running around that AM. She was well overtired and didn't even make it on stage, several girls didn't. However, in May when she was on a real stage and I had her hair in an up-do, she was dancing to "under the sea"...DD had the crowd rolling with her butt shake (not actually in the program, just an added dance). It was sweet. And she was so more more confident (and it was at a better time).

I think its pretty common for kids to freeze up. I'd give her more time. You will never know what she is capable of, if you quit letting her try.

Emiliana7 · December 2011

Oh, I didn't have any high expectations of her. I am proud of her for just staying on stage. I actually used to teach dance (at a different studio), so I know what to expect or not expect from the kids.

This was more of a vent for me putting so much effort into it, knowing that the other parents (who have no dance background, and mostly this is their first year, or at most 2nd year having thier DDs in dance) wouldn't have.

And I'd only pull her out totally of dance if she ended up not wanting to do it. Then we'd find someone else for her to do- soccer, gymnastics, something else.

I'd love it if she likes dance and wants to continue- but I'm not going to be that mom who lives vicariously through their kids and forces them to do something because "mommy wanted to and they need to appreciate the opportunity that I didn't have."

One big reason why we started at this studio- its a good middle ground- its not too recreational, but not pre-pro either.

If my DD loves class but doesn't like being in front of people/on stage, then I'm going to check into the school that teaches RAD- so then there's not anything more performance-y than having parents watch in class a few times a year.

I had already looked into a soccer league for her age group and would do SPring season of that but it conflicts too much with dance, and I'm a believer of you at least finish out a year/season of something you start.

Longer than I expected, sorry.

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