- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Georgia Babies
frlcb
member
s/o school - redshirting kindergarten
frlcb
member
So, now that we have beat the public vs private issue to the ground, what is the thought on redshirting? Apparently, which is news to me, it is getting to be more standard around here that kids, particularly boys, who have birthdays May and later are encouraged to not start kindergarten until they are 6. So basically if they turn 5 between May and August 31, they should wait an extra year. I was blown away that this is becoming more common in private schools, and one I looked at actually has a pre-1st class, which is after k but before 1st and is almost exclusively kids born between April and September, so if parents started their children on time the school then decides they aren't ready for 1st after k and puts them in this pre-1st class.
With my kids having birthdays in Feb and April there will not even be a discussion about this, it isn't happening. But I am kind of anti-redshirting anyway, and feel like it is crazy that people assume based on a birthday that a child isn't ready to start school.
I am interested to hear if any of the teachers on here have thoughts about this?
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: s/o school - redshirting kindergarten
I think as a general rule, that kids should start when they are supposed to. The cutoff is there for a reason, KWIM? If your child has an August bday, sure they'll be the youngest in the class, but someone has to be, right?
Plus, I know if it were me, I would be... embarrassed/sad? that my parents didn't think I was ready to start school. Like they didn't think I could handle it or didn't believe in me or something. Though to be fair, I was such a nerdy little kid that on my 5th birthday I asked my mom if I could start going to school that day, lol.
However, with that said, I do think that some kids are truly not ready for school and it probably does them a world of good to have that extra year. But I think that's more the exception than the rule. I guess it should be a case by case basis, but I think just automatically holding your child back purely because they have a late birthday is doing a bit of a disservice to him/her. But like I said, I do think some kids need the extra year and it is helpful.
ETA: Also, I think it is a slippery slope. So everyone with August birthdays starts delayed. Then the July kids are the youngest, and they start delaying. Then it's the June kids. etc, etc. And with Caroline having a late June bday and already being on the young side, she'll be in classes with kids that are almost 2 years older than her? That's not really fair to her or the others in the class.
We did it this year for Grant. His birthday is August 8th, and had he started on time he would have started on his 5th birthday. It was a HARD decision for us, but after talking it out with each other, with his and other teachers and his Pediatrician we decided to do it. All of the "professionals" that we spoke with said that "they have had plenty of parents regret not holding back, but never had parents regret holding back".
For us, we didn't want Grant basically being a year younger than his classmates (a few weeks after school started kids would be turning 6). He is a smart boy, so academically I think he would have done fine in K, but developmentally and socially now and later years (middle and high school) we feel the extra year will help him--especially for a boy.
It is becoming (or has been) very common. Grant was in the "young 4" class in PreK last year, and out of the 15 kids in class 11 of them had summer birthday's. Out of the 11 kids 9 of them are back in PreK this year (now in the "old 4 class"). Out of the 15 kids in the class this year, 9 were in Grant's class and 4 were in a PreK class somewhere else last year and are repeating at our school, only 2 kids in the class are actually doing PreK for the first time (a Sept and an Oct bday). Also, we were told that because of his birthday the Private School we are looking at would require us to hold him back.
I will say that holding a child with a January birthday is crazy and even a spring birthday I wouldn't even think of holding back, but for us a boy only 3 weeks from the cutoff we felt that holding back would benefit him in the long run.
This is my issue though. Now parents who may not have held their kids back feel pressured to so they aren't the youngest in the class. When does it stop? It is like the pp said, at some point we have to say enough is enough. I think it is fine to do a late start in your case, with such a late birthday, or on a case by case basis, but I think it is weird that some schools are like 'well, your son was born in April, so hold him back!' It is crazy to me!
I was the youngest, my birthday is at the end of Sept and I graduated at 17. It never once bothered me at all that I was younger than other kids.
I do agree it should be case by case, and not a blanket thing. If he had a June or even July birthday we probably would have sent him...August was just too close for us. The thing with the school, we didn't want them to take him this year, then tell us that he needed to repeat next year (and pay for K twice).
I was young as well (I have a June birthday) and didn't have any problems. My DH has an early Oct birthday so he was one of the oldest, which he was very happy about. I think there is a big difference in boys and girls.
We've already encountered the big age difference in Pre-K.
My son's birthday is late June. In his Pre-K class, there is a girl turning 6...WTF. So we have a 18 month age difference. Nice!!
I'm against it unless doctors and teachers think it's best for your child to hold them back.
It's totally a US thing. My husband is horrified that people do this, it just isn't done in the UK at all. You start school when you are the age to start, and you don't get held back and you don't skip grades. I know they don't do it in Canada either.
Obviously there are certain circumstances which warrant this. But simply holding back your child because they have a birthday in a certain month seems off to me. Now my son, who is on the smaller side, will be in school with kids who are a year older than him and a head bigger. That bothers me.
My nephew was held back, but he has a major major speech issue and everyone agreed one more year in a montessori school before kindergarten was the right thing. I agree with that. Holding back because a boy is born in May? Don't agree with at all.
Both of my kids have birthday's right around the Sept 1st cutoff. Emma is September 10th so she was about to turn 5 when she started pre-k4. Tess wasn't due until the end of September but was born August 26th which has her beating the Sept 1st deadline by just a few days. I'm planning on holding her back a year because of that. I'm not a fan of her going all the way through school as the youngest in her class, setting her up to possibly go off to college at 17. I think we're going to do private K4 next year, (private, part time) and then either do the full time K4 at our school the next year or do private (part time) K4 and Kindergarden and then publick Kindergarden. So she'll technically repeat one but I'm hoping that the transition of part time to full time at different schools will make it easier.
If she wasn't so close to the magic date then I would not mess with it at all but I think it's silly for her to start school year an entire year earlier than she would if I hadn't had pre-eclampsia and carried her to term.
And while we're talking about it I think the Sept 1st deadline is stupid. They start school in August so I think the date should be August 1st.
I do agree with this.
I agree with this. I have also heard that they have talked about changing the cutoff date for this reason. If they do/did change the cutoff to Aug 1st Grant wouldn't have made the cutoff, yet another reason why we held back.
I don't know what the right answer is for everyone else, but for us holding back a year is giving him the best chance of success, which is my only concern.
I think the cutoff should be earlier as well, and it should be the same across the US, not state by state (or even city by city).
It makes no sense at all. I understand that Once Upon A Time school started the Monday after Labor Day but now it starts at the beginning of August. So technically I could send my 3 year old to public elementary school in the fall! No way could I do that!!
Mommy to Abigail Elizabeth (11/4/11) and Brady Jasper (7/2/09)
my blog
I'm sorry you feel this way. I think most of us on here agree that kids who have medical reasons to be held back (and I believe that autism falls into this definition) should be held back if their parents choose. My issue is that I have friends whose boys, who are only 3 right now, are already saying they are going to hold them back SIMPLY because they are born in a certain month. No developmental delays. No medical reasons. No speech issues. Just based on a birthday - and I will be honest when I say I think, personally, that it is wrong. At some point we have to say enough is enough, that there are certain deadlines for a reason, and if your child falls into that deadline they should start school on time (if there is no medical or developmental reason not to)
This is a sensitive subject for me b/c I have 2 boys born right at the cutoff. Colin is 9/5, so just misses it. I have tried and tried to push him up, but it's a no go. Several private schools we looked at have an even earlier cutoff.
Hayden on the other hand, is 8/13. So even though they are 2 years apart, they will only be 1 year apart in school. We will likely hold back but not making any decisions until we get there. Think what you'd like, but I have a hard time with my 3 year old starting pre-k. There are numerous studies that show that boys especially do better being more mature and I really don't want him in class with kids over a year older.
I get this, I really do. I even think August birthdays make more sense than an April birthday. But by the same logic my son will be in class with kids a year older because their parents have held them back and we chose to start him on time.
Yeah, I have a ton of angst over this entire thing. If we go for 3, I want a spring baby!!!
totally agree with you especially the bold part. We have already discussed holding Bailey out a year b/c of speech delay and just not being developmentally ready. We'll see how he is when we get closer. Thankfully his current school offers a K class that is meant for kids that have summer bday and are starting private school later. If we do anything we'll put him in that for a year then he'll do real K at a private school. It's my job as a parent to make sure I give my kids all the resources to be sucessfully. If that means holding him back a year so be it.
I understand this. I do feel like this is a completely different situation, and you are correct in that there may be kids in school that we don't know have developmental delays or dx. However, I am talking about good friends of mine, and I know with 100% certainty that their kids do not, and it is strictly a birthday thing because they have read somewhere that boys born after April should be held back so they can succeed more. This is two entirely different things.
I'm not going to comment anymore after this because I think my thoughts are being blown completely out of proportion. The one thing I find interesting is that me being worried about how redshirting in general will affect my child is not okay, but parents wanting to hold their kids back to give their kids the best is okay. There are two sides to every coin, and every situation. I personally do feel that if I send my child, who will likely go to a private school, to school and he is a year younger than everyone else (by their parents choice) that it could be detrimental to him. Why is my concern less valid than anyone else's? I don't think it is or should be. My son is also incredibly creative and imaginative and free spirited, and is going to a play based preschool where he is thriving because he can be that way without structure. But I also realize that at some point he has to be in a place where structure is more the norm, and, for us, holding him back a year isn't an option. I know what the top private schools recommend, we have done the research. I know that some kids, boys and girls, aren't ready to start school at 5.
Everyone can think I am being judgmental for expressing my opinion on this but in reality I am being judged as well for worrying about how this will affect my child. As everyone has said parents want the best for their kids, and this is one of my concerns.
I also have said, a few times, that I don't think it is a decision that should be made at 3, which is why it is interesting to me that some of my friends are already making this decision. I think a lot can change in the next year.
I know exactly how you feel! With Emma being a September birthday I swore I would never have another child right around the cutoff and that is exactly what ended up happing with Tess!! I was due at the end of September but she was actually born in August so I get to deal with a double struggle now
And to the pp, I agree with Andrea that I don't think the overall opinion is that parents shouldn't be able to make choices like this for their kids based on individual circumstances. I just think that there are more and more parents who don't have a real justification in holding back for a year other than personal preference, you know?
For those of you currently struggling with this, I can say that it was one of the hardest decisions I have made as a parent yet. I struggled over this and even questioned my decision the first day K started and Grant didn't go. What I can tell you now is that I totally made the right decision. He is thriving in school, and after talking to friends who have kids in K I know we did the right thing.
Carrie, like you, since we held Grant back if we don't hold Reid back they would only be 1 year apart in school. While he is only 3.5 we are already planning on holding him back (his birthday is also later in August than Grant's and he is much less "mature" than Grant).
I have been leaning towards holding my son back since he was born because of how close he was to the cut off date. We have watched him over the years and I think we will stick with that decision, because I don't believe he is emotionally ready to be in Kindergarten next year. For me it is not about him being the youngest, although that is a component. It is that the April birthday has another 4 months of maturity. Where I grew up the cut-off for Kindergarten was May 1st. So all children entering school the following fall were at least 4 months into their 5th year.
I understand a deadline for paying my taxes, but not as concerned about a contrived date to dictate if my son is ready for school.
Don't discount your education coupled with your relationship with him as his mom though! I think that totally gives you an edge to make a very fair decision on when he should start school. And I mean that in a good way. Hindsight being 20/20 I feel like I didn't have the confidence in myself as anything more than Emma's mom (i.e. no teaching degree) and felt very forced into the educational path she started out on. I feel kind of guilty that I can use that lesson as a learning curve to make better choices for Tess. I will always regret that I didn't allow Emma a better introduction to school that gave her plenty of time to work through that imagination and free spirit that you mentioned seeing in your own.
Speaking of, sounds like you'd be a great fit for her personality- Are you interested in homeschooling a 3rd grader, lol?!