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I need frank advice re: Kindergarten/redshirting
Okay so had we stayed in NY, PAC would have started Kindergarten in September 2012. But in MD, the cutoff is Sept. 1. He turns 5 on Sept. 24.But if the kid's bday falls before Oct 12, he can take a test to see about early entrance.
My original plan was to get him tested for early admission. I just don't want him to have to repeat pre-K again. Not only will he be a year behind his peers, but I think he'd be bored. His current pre-K teacher agrees, say he's ready for Kindie. If he didn't pass the test, plan B was to send him to a private pre-K and Kindie, and then he'd transfer to public school for 1st grade. That way, even if I have to pay for an additional year of school, at least he won't be held behind.
But then one of the daycare directors I spoke with in MD said: "...given your sons? birthday, while I have not met him yet I and I have no doubt that he is a bright little guy, I would still recommend not doing early admission for kindergarten. The trend in Maryland is that parents (for good reason) are actually holding their children back so they are starting kindergarten when they are closer to 6 years old because kindergarten is what we as children did in first grade. Your son would most likely be the youngest child in the class by over a year in some cases. Let him be a kid for as long as he can."
Now I'm confused. For one, I'm kind of against redshirting. I was always one of the youngest in my class (I was 17 when I entered college), but that never hindered me. Also, I think he's ready for kindergarten. He knows all his letters and numbers up to 100, does simple math in his head, can spell/recognize his name, his friends names and small words, has a great understanding of English, knows basic Spanish, has great listening comprehension, story recall, good attention, gross and fine motor skills, etc. He needs improvement in his handwriting/holding a pencil, but we?re working on that.
I don't want him to be bored and have to repeat a year with younger kids, but I also don't want to put him in a situation that he's not going to do well in. I know some of you have kids in kindergarten already, so maybe you can offer advice.
Sorry this ended up being long.
My babies!!
Patrick Aydin, 9.24.07, and Alia Noor, 6.1.11
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I need frank advice re: Kindergarten/redshirting
He may be ready now, but if the trend is toward holding them back, do you want your still-4 year old in a class with kids who are almost 6? That's a huge difference at this age.
Many preschools have a young 5s class. I know ours does. It's meant to be more challenging than the usual pre-K.
It's not an issue for us because my kids are December babies, but they will also be 5 3/4 when they start kindergarten. I think that extra year of maturity will be good for them, especially DS.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
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We live in VA, and I agree the trend in the DC area is to start kids in school later for a variety of reasons. My DS missed the cutoff date by 5 days. We did not have the option to test for early admission, so he's the oldest kid in his class. He has done really well in Kindergarten and in 1st grade.
However, last year the school gave us the option of having him skip 1st grade because he was testing at a 2nd and 3rd grade level on everything. We ended up not doing it for a bunch of reasons. But had we had the option to start DS in K a year earlier, we would have jumped on it.
I would have your son take the test and see where he falls out. If he's hitting benchmarks for the 2nd/3rd quarter of Kindergarten, I'd send him to K. If he's not yet hitting the benchmarks for K, or if he's just hitting them, I'd wait to start K.
I think you have to look at the trend in your area and whatnot. DD's birthday is in May with a September 1st cut off. She is the third to youngest in her Kindy with a number of kids over a year older than her. Redshirting is very common around here. Almost half her "younger 4s" class (most of the boys) were kept out this year even though they technically could have gone to Kindergarten. I thought about it for DD even though she was starting to read. She's definitely younger than the rest of the kids, but she's adjusting. I wouldn't have sent a July or August kid and I'd be iffy on sending a June/May boy so I definitely wouldn't have ever sent a kid who's birthday is after the cut off. It has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with social and maturity. It's the amount of work they have to do and how long they have to sit still. DD is still exhausted at the end of the day and getting her to do her homework is hard because she's so tired and wants to decompress but if I give her too much time to decompress it's almost bedtime. And it feels like the poor kid never has time to just play or do fun activities or have playdates without us getting totally behind. She sleeps until 9 or 10 on weekends these days. DD had a really hard time adjusting - she was tired, overwhelmed, scared and upset. I was worried for the first few months I made the wrong decision sending her even though EVERYONE - teachers, pediatrician, etc. - said she was more than ready socially, maturity and intellectually. She's adjusted and is doing amazing, but it was an adjustment and it was hard on her and on me.
I know redshirting is a huge no no on the bump, but I really think it depends on your area. My mom has been a teacher for over 40 years and she'll tell you that she has never ever had a parent say they regret keeping their kid out and waiting the extra year. She's had a lot of parents say they regret sending their kid. Of all of my friends who have kept their kids out, all of them tell me it was the best decision they ever made and I've had a few friends who sent their kids and wish they hadn't. One or two repeated Kindergarten and did great. The rest kept pushing through and settled out by 3rd or 4th grade, but it was such a rough time getting there.
I don't know your son at all. This is just a general statement. But this is just my experiences and general opinion.
We redshirted DS and it was the best parenting decision I think I have ever made.
My DS is very smart. He was tested and his verbal skills were that of an 8 y.o. (tested at 4 1/2 y.o.), his gross and fine motor skills are exceptional, etc. He did/does need some time to develop socially, but I wouldn't say he is behind at all . It is more for social reasons than academic that people, such as teachers, recommend redshirting.
In our district, I would say 90% hold back fall bdays and some hold back even summer bdays. That played a huge role in our decision to hold DS. Not only would he be the youngest naturally, but he would have been almost 18 months younger than his peers that he will go to school with from now through high school.
Since it is very common in his new district, maybe the schools are more challenging for young 5's? The class Sam is in is the perfect class for him. He loves going to school and is happy everyday. There is no frustration. I'm not sure I would be able to say that if he were in kindergarten. I have not regretted my decision for a single moment.
ita w/this
"Also this is not redshirting. If his birthday fell before the cutoff and you held him back, that is redshirting. Socially I think he would be better off with his peers."
Adding to what I said before, if he missed the cutoff, he missed the cutoff. That's the way it is WHERE HE WILL BE, not where he was. I would just send him a year later than you had expected.
DS is almost reading, doing math in his head, interested in all kinds of stuff. Could I think of him in K right now? Hell no. He's nowhere near mature enough. Apparently red shirting isn't that uncommon here if so many preschools have a 5s "gift of time" class. I wouldn't want my young kid going up against that in the classroom the way he is now.
If PAC isn't going to be 5 until the end of September, that is well past the cutoff in my mind.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
I agree with cjcouple and ciarri.
1. You are not redshirting, if his bday falls after the cut-off.
2. I think you need to mostly look at his social abilities.
3. My DS (June bday) started kindie this year with a 9/1 cutoff. He is by far, very young in his class. I didn't realize haw many people red-shirt here. My DS, like yours, was doing fabulous in his pre-k class, knowing all his numbers, letters, emerging math skills, sight words, etc. I hate to even say this, but I *almost* wish I had help him back. HOWEVER, he is doing fine in class, for the most part (we are dealing with some impulsive boy behaviour).
In your case, I would start him when he is 5 turning 6. I don't think it's a decision you will regret.
I don't think you're talking about redshirting. You're talking about playing by the "rules" of your new home. I would not send either of my kids early, no matter how smart. It's not really about letters/numbers, and much more about social maturity etc. I really don't see how a just barely 5 year old could be "bored" in a young 5s preschool setting. I know the pre-K class at DD's school isn't bored. It's a play-based curriculum and they are FIVE--what is boring about playing with your friends all day?! I would for sure send him to K with his peers.
I also think you need to consider the social stuff down the line, not just in K. Maybe he can hang with kids 1.5 years older now, but what about in middle school? What about having the confidence to be a leader and make good decisions in HS? IDK, I don't really see an overwhelming reason to send kids early and I rarely hear of kids wishing they'd been skipped. You could always skip later if he truly needs it, but much harder to repeat later on their self-esteem.
I had the same thoughts as this post. My Dad was an elementary principal for 20 years and has always said the same thing - no parent ever regrets waiting the extra year. We are redshirting our DD (she made the cutoff by a few days) and I have had numerous people tell me that we are making the right decision because they held their child back and it was the best decision, blah, blah, blah.
I agree with the others that you aren't really redshirting if your kid doesn't make the cutoff. As far as academics, my DD would be fine in kindy, but socially she is just not as mature as the kids that are 6-12 months older than her. Only you know your kid, but I would not have my kid tested to go early.
I would send him when he "should" go based on his birthday and the cutoff for the district he's in. That's not redshirting since he doesn't make the cutoff. I understand that in your mind it's "holding him back" since NY has a later cutoff than most places, but he misses the cutoff. I believe in following the district cutoff in both directions unless there's a very compelling reason not to, i.e a learning difference that absolutely sets your child grossly apart from their peers (in either direction).
I wish there was a way to standardize the cutoff between states though. I don't care what the cutoff is, but I've heard as early as July 1 and as late as Dec 31, which is crazy and can lead to a problem if you move from a very early state to a very late one or vice versa (as we likely will experience going from grad school to postdoc to professor as each requires DH to look nation-wide for jobs). It's really frustrating that our kids could start "on time" locally but be way older or way younger than their classmates in the future.
IMO, he should start when the district says he should start. As others have stated, it's not redshirting, it's just following their cutoff.
Our district has a 5 by 9/1 cutoff. DD's birthday is 8/1, so she made the cutoff by 1 month. She's the youngest in her class and while she's mostly ok (definitely ok academically, that was never a concern), sometimes it's obvious that she IS younger than a lot of her peers. Sometimes we think it might have been more beneficial to have held her back a year, even though she DID make the cutoff AND is excelling academically. I think being younger has more drawbacks than being older.
This is why NO ONE should be allowed to red shirt.
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I didn't read the replies so forgive me if I'm being redundant or missing something!
I think if the kid is 5 by the time school starts, then don't redshirt. If he'll still be 4 when school starts, wait. I've volunteered for 3 years in kindergarten and almost always, the kids that struggle are the ones with the Sep or later birthdays (our cut-off is Dec 1). Even if they're academically ready, kindergarten is really hard for those younger kids.
So in your case, I'd wait.
I dislike the redshirting trend and would far prefer that kindergarten expectations be appropriate for typical children who are the designated age,and that the cutoff dates should be followed except in truly exceptional situations so that kindergarten is for five year olds, not anything from four and half to several months past 6 years old. And as others have said, it isn't redshirting in your situation. The question is starting him early or starting him as scheduled. Given that redshirting is very common in the area, I would be very reluctant to start early.
I'd send him on time, his real scheduled time. I can't imagine a 2 year. A one year difference is noticable for us.
I sent DD with an 8/22 birthday and 9/1 cut off on time. Things that affected my decision:
1. Redshirting is NOT common around here. I live in a small-ish city and all the schools are Title 1. In fact, likely I wouldn't have know how popular in other areas around the country without the nest.
2. Her daycare and preschool teachers, said she was more than ready. Even her KG teacher--now 1st grade teacher. DD has done AWESOME academically however you can see her age difference (I can't imagine a 2 year). All her 7 year old counterparts have mostly moved on from princesses esp those with older sisters where DD still likes them. She is starting to be much more about Barbie and will sing to iCarly.
3. Birth order and sex of the child make a difference. Second children tend to be more mature as well as girls. Can you imagine your sons male peers going through puberty without him ?!?! With 2 years difference its bond to hurt him.
4. DD is a social butterfly. Her BFF has been in her class the last 2 years. SHe's a daycare kid. No shyness or any issues like that.
5. DD did prek at the same school she attended kg. She knew the ropes
I was also 17 when I graduated and when to college. I did have a rough initial transition to school but my mom was a SAHM and she didn't really help with our school work. However, I did catch up after Elementary school and was able to do really well in school, mostly better than Elem...something just clicked. I also did well through college but I wish I wasn't so naive when I picked a career field. I thought I would save the world with social work when really I didn't know much about that part of the world...i do think a year would make a difference in anyone's development but two is too much. I wish the US would pick one date and make everyone in public school stick to it.
I was red-shirted as a kid and I remember being bored out of my mind in kindergarten. I already knew everything they were doing. So I acted out and got in trouble a lot in early elementary. However, I was always ahead of my peers academically and graduated at the top of my class. Take of that what you will.
I think the redshirting has gotten out of hand and school districts need to keep kindergarten for 5 yr olds. I sent my DD this year (she's a May b'day) and she is amoung the youngest in her class. People are redshirting May/April/March birthdays around here.
We are possibly moving this year too and ds was supposed to start K this year. I knew there would be a strong likelihood of us moving to a place where the cutoff was sooner, and so I didn't want him to be even younger than he already was in an area where red shirting is common. I'm so glad I waited. Ds has grown up so much and gained so much confidence this year. Like your son, he was great academically last year to go on and could do all the things you mention. I did not base my decision at all on academics.
I worry more about 3rd grade/middle school/high school and driving etc. and how he will fit in with his peers in the future. I think it is very different for boys than girls. I think young girls are much more accepted with their peers where any sign of immaturity in boys can be used as a reason to pick on/bully.
If we do move, the cutoff will actually make him not red shirted (and probably not even close to the oldest).
It was a very hard decision to go against what we were "supposed" to do (enroll him this year), so I talked to a lot of people about it. Every single one said they were 100% happy they waited . And many more that sent early said they wish they waited. I think you should send him with his peers. If he is bored, or gifted, or fits in better with the kids above him, the teachers will notice and you could discuss him skipping a grade.
I didn't read the other replies, but in your case, you're not red-shirting him. He won't be five by the cut-off, so I would hold him, particularly since the "trend" in the area is to hold.
We held DS back this year (he was academically absolutely ready to go) - when I spoke to his perspective Kinder teacher, she said that she had never spoken with a parent who regretted their decision to hold their child a year, but many a parent who wished they had waited when given a chance to start their child early and/or right at the age cutoff (particularly for boys).
If he's truly bored and academically and socially unchallenged, you could always consider moving him up a grade later - seems more appealing than having to hold him back because he wasn't quite ready.
Holding DS back was the best decision we've made. He will be really ready for Kinder in the fall on all fronts (academic, social/developmental).
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I'm just echoing what some others have already said...I taught kindergarten for a few years, have taught elementary for 9 years, and DD is an October 2 baby. Our cutoff is Dec. 2 this year but is moving back to Sept. 2 next year, so we had the option this year, but if she'd been born a year later, we'd have had to wait.
We agonized over this decision and ended up keeping her in preschool an extra year. To be honest, she is a little bored--not because she's just such a genius that preschool is beneath her and she's ready to read Moby *** already, but because every day there is exactly the same routine, same art projects, same playground, same toys and puzzles, etc. as last year.
Still, I think we'll be glad in the long run that we waited. She's smart--starting to read and do simple math on her own, huge vocabulary, blahblahblah--but what mattered to us wasn't necessarily how she'd do in kindergarten, but how it would play out in the long run. Did we want her going to high school with 18 year old boys a year earlier than she needed to? Did we want her starting junior high/HS a year younger, maybe a year less mature and less ready to make responsible choices about drugs, sex, etc? When we looked at it that way, waiting seemed like a pretty good idea!
Like some of the others said, both based on my teaching experience and the experiences of all the other parents I know, I have never heard of anyone regretting that they waited. I have seen MANY kids struggle because they started young and it caught up to them around 5th-8th grade, and then it's too late to retain them without huge social ramifications. I know several parents who wish they hadn't started their kids at age 4. (I also know a few people who started at 4 and were valedictorians--there's anecdotal evidence for either side.) Statistically, kids who start younger (especially boys) are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD because their behavior is being compared to classmates 1-2 years older and more mature.
This is just my experience and opinion--it's a tough decision. GL!
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