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3rd Trimester
AmyFTM
member
Ideally how long to wait to try for #2
AmyFTM
member
I know this is way premature of me as #1 isn't even here yet! (I'm due 12/18) But I was just curious how long you waited to try for #2. I don't want there to be too big of an age gap (2.5 years is probably the max for us, meaning we'll have to start trying around #1's first birthday). Some background: we weren't actively trying for #1 (meaning I wasn't charting or taking prenatals or anything to prepare for it), but we weren't preventing it from happening either... just whatever God decides to give us we'll take. We were, however, mentally prepared for the likelihood. Luckily, we got pregnant on the first try!
At my six weeks PP check up I will ask my Dr. when my body will be "ideally" ready to cook another one...but just thought I'd get some input from fellow bumpies. We know we definitely want at least two so that they'll always have each other should something ever happen to us. But who knows I might hate labor & delivery so much that I'll say one is enough! lol...and to add to this I'm approaching my early 30's so we can't wait too long either.
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Re: Ideally how long to wait to try for #2
I'm older (36), and it took 16 cycles to get pg with #1, so we wanted to try as soon as possible. But, I didn't get my first pp period until DS was 11.5 months, so that was the limiting factor. Then, thankfully, we got lucky and conceived #2 on our second cycle trying.
Since I had to have a c/s the first time around, my OB recommended waiting at least until my son was 6 months old before TTC
We wanted ours to be about 2 years apart. We did get pregnant right away and the due date (from my DS1) was only 1 day different! But we lost that one and it took awhile for my body to get back to normal. The we got pregnant with this one:) DS will be 2 years and 5 months old when DD arrives. I think it works great for us! It is probably different for everyone though.
My husband and I did a lot of talking about this before we started trying for our second. From what I read, trying to conceive within 1 year after the birth of the first is not ideal because your body isn't ready yet. Within 4 years is best because your body is still primed for another.
In terms of ideal spacing from the family dynamic perspective, that really depends. Some people like the idea of getting all the diapers and baby food over and done with as quickly as possible and getting the kids to school-age more quickly. However, others prefer that the first be a little more independent before the other arrives.
We decided we wanted something between 2 and 3 years because they would be close enough in age that they could be friends, but not too close.
We waited until DD was 3. She will turn 4 a month after baby is due. For us, that was perfect timing. And we got pregnant with #2 the first month of trying.
Different age gaps are perfect for different people. Some people prefer them closer together but I honestly don't think I would have enjoyed it as much.
FTM here, so I'm pretty clueless... But this post reminded me of something. DD is due in January, and DH says we will have 2 in 2012! I say he is CRAZY, and that he'll change his mind once the first one is born! Haha!
But my ideal length of time between LO1 & LO2 would be 1.5 to 2 years. Granted, things might not happen that fast due to weird stuff that happens post-pregnancy, so I guess it will happen when it happens!
As others have said, spacing will depend a lot on your personal situation. What kind of baby your first is, how well you adjust to adding a baby to your family, financials, etc. FWIW, my doctor said waiting at least a year after delivering to get pregnant again was ideal.
We wanted ours to be about 2 years apart. I started getting baby fever when my first LO was about 6 months old, but we waited to try until she was about 15 months. They will be 23 months apart.
Marriage: 12.18.04
DD1: 5.19.10
DD2: 4.11.12
Like you, we were able to get pregnant on our first "try" (I can remember the night it happened on), and i wanted my next LO to be 2 years apart because in MY family there were 4 kids and we were all within 5 years (my little brother is 1 yr and 4 days younger than me!), I actually heard that a lot of women are more susceptible to getting pregnant within the first 3 months or so, for whatever reason, but I can't imagine getting pregnant so soon after the first one!
Since i was on nuvaring up until May, i thought it would take a while to get pregnant again with #2, but again, it happened on just the first try and we were pregnant by the end of June! It was crazy... I think I'm a "Fertile Myrtle"..!
We're hoping for 3 total, and I'm 32 now. So, for us about 2 years was our goal. We got pregnant with #2 when DD was 14 mos. The first time it took us 8 cycles, this time we got our BFP on the first try.
However, after looking at what our daycare bill will be...we'll be waiting until DD#1 is in kindergarten full time before baby #3. Daycare for 3 will cost as much as our mortgage!!
I got pregnant the first month trying with DS. Originally, I wanted them to be 2.5 years apart, but it ended up taking 7 months with this one, so they will be 3 years and about 1 month apart.
For us, this was a really good spread. DS is potty trained, pretty independent, can put on his own shoes, almost able to get dressed, etc. I think it will be less stressful having a new born with a toddler that is able to do things for himself. I've also read children who are the only one under 3 in a household do the best, so that worked well for us, too.
Some of my friends have 2 under 2 and it seems like that phase is a stressful blur, rather than getting to enjoy each kid.
But, obviously, it's a very personal decision that depends on many, many factors.
My doc volunteered that 2 years is a good guideline. Gives mom's body a chance to rest and replenish but also gives the family a chance to adjust.
Having said that, my kids are 18 months apart. I had them at 37 and 39 so time was a factor in my decision.
I had fertility issues and used IUI to conceive DS. I spoke to my Dr. at my 6wk appointment as to how long I should wait... he told me not to worry about it - he was not restricting me.
We decided to just go with the flow and without using BC I was still not pregnant by DS's first birthday. I went back to my fertility dr. when DS was about 14 months old... and we got pregnant on our first IUI cycle this time around. My Children will be 2yrs and 1 month apart. That was ideal for us. I might do the same next time or wait an extra 6 month on top of what we waited this time.
I completely don't belong on this board, but I started trying when DD was 15 months old. It took us 7 cycles to get pregnant. I had one chemical pregnancy in between. My two are 2 1/2 years apart. In my opinion it's an awesome age gap.
I have infertility issues and had miscarriages, so I quickly learned that you are lucky if you can get pregnant right away.
I got pregnant when my son was 2 1/2 but miscarried, and it took us over a year and a half after that to get pregnant with this one. So, the age gap will be almost 5 years between my son and the baby.
I have no complaints. My son has been very caring and helps me A LOT, and we look forward to the baby together.
We do want another baby (my husband actually wants 2 more!), but I'm not going to stress about the age gap. When it happens, it happens.
Proud mother of two breech babies:)
The medical research shows that risk for miscarriage, birth defects, and pregnancy complications is higher if you conceive again within a year. Our bodies give so much to baby number 1, that our bodies might not have as much to give to baby number 2 if we haven't given ourselves enough time to recover and rebuild. My doctor explained that it takes 10 months of really hard work for our bodies to make a baby, so our bodies need at least 10 months to recover. Plus the stress and strain of taking care of a new baby takes away from our healing and rebuilding time.
Personally, my husband and I want to wait until our first LO is about 3 or 4. Kids that age are more independent and able to do self-directed activities. We don't want to have to feel like we are "cheating" one of the kids out of the individual attention they need because we wanted them to be close in age.
On a side note: my sister and I are 13 months apart in age and have never gotten along, one of my friends is 12 months apart from her sister and they also never got along. So just because the kids are close in age, doesn't mean they are going to have a great relationship or even like eachother.
We started trying for #2 when DD#1 was 9 months old and they are 19 months apart.
We LOVED having 2 under 2 and knew we wanted 4 kids, so we started trying again when DS was around 9 months old. It took 2 years to get pregnant, only to have a loss.
10 months later, we finally got pregnant again (thanks Clomid!) and had DD#2 in January 2010. After she arrived, we didn't prevent since it took us so long to get pregnant and I found out when DD#2 was 5 months old that I was pregnant but we lost that baby.
We got cleared to TTC a few months later and I was now on thyroid meds and we got pregnant and we were excited because DD#2 and baby would be 16 months apart but we lost our son at 22 weeks.
We decided to try again in April 2011 and got pregnant in June 2011. DD#2 and baby will be 25 months apart. And we are done having kids; I am getting too old for this! :-)
My kids will be 20 months apart. I'm happy with that.
We didn't necessarily plan it this way per say... but I also wasn't using any birth control other than breastfeeding. I got pregnant with this one on the 2nd time I ovulated after my DD slowed down her breastfeeding.