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When time out stops working...

amyinaustinamyinaustin
in Austin Babies

What do you do?  We had a ROUGH day discipline-wise today and I was getting really frustrated w/ DD.  She was laughing when I'd put her in TO and kept escaping.  I'd make her get back over there, then she'd start banging on the wall hard w/ her hands, so I'd make her sit on her hands.  THen she'd start kicking the wall hard, so I'd hold her ankles down.  She'd scream and cry and say I was hurting her (drama!) and if I let go she'd make a break for it again and run out of time-out.  DH got so frustrated w/ her during bedtime that he refused to read her a book or anything and just told her to go to bed and turned out the lights.  I hate it when she goes to bed under those circumstances.

Lord give me strength to get through this Terrible Three age....I'm getting really scared of how much harder this will be w/ a NB.

What am I doing wrong w/ our TO scenario?  She stands in the corner for 3 minutes - no toys or talking or anything like that allowed.  Heck, often when her time is up, she refuses to get OUT of TO.  I don't know if I"m doing it wrong or if I need to try something else?

 

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Re: When time out stops working...

  • userdeleteduserdeleted member

    I'm sorry :(

    We have a lot of trouble with TO too. What we've settled on is basically not doing it anymore for Leo. He responds better (or I guess, hates it more) when he loses a toy or privilege. Charlie thinks TO in a corner is hilarious, but just hates being put in his high chair or in his crib, so we're trying that for awhile. 

    I really feel your pain with the Terrible Threes man. 

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  • ali-1411ali-1411 member

    We don't do timeout with Layna.  It just doesn't work for her.  She'd rather go into timeout than do what we're telling her to do.  Kinda defeats the purpose.

    So when she's being a snot, I send her to her room.  Its up to her how long she needs to be in there.  I used to carry her in, set her down on the floor and tell her she could come out when she was happy and nice again.  Now, I don't even need to.  I just tell her to Go to your room!  and she goes.  5 or 10 minutes later, she comes out happy and we go about our day.

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  • amyinaustinamyinaustin
    THanks -both good ideas.  I've tried taking things away - and that works sometimes.  We've just started trying to put her in her room.  We may hit that hard-core now and see if we see a difference.
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  • PMBridetobePMBridetobe member

    It sounds like it is a game to her with the laughing and then turns into a power struggle.  From a Suppernanny episode she advised to ignore and return them to the spot without comment.  I know for us, I make sure they are safe and then walk away and ignore.  We are at the throw yourself on the tile floor (ouch!) and then cry like your being killed.

    Hang in there!

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  • virginia&alanvirginia&alan

    Are you doing the 1-2-3 Magic thing before TO?  We used to have a similar experience with TO, but once we started counting they started to have more impact.  Unless the offense is something extreme (e.g., pushing or otherwise hurting little sister), she gets 2 chances to change or stop the behavior.  If we reach 3, she has "chosen" TO.  Most days I never have to get past 1 or 2. 

    And if you have a hard time keeping her in TO, maybe try strapping her into a high chair or booster chair and having it face the corner. 

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  • BLONDIE6FTBLONDIE6FT

    thank you for posting this! good ideas from pps.

    when T is having a meltdown at dinner (pretty much every night), we tell her we have to turn her around until she's done crying. that's all i got right now :)

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  • amyinaustinamyinaustin

    I HAVE noticed that she has started responding to the 1-2-3 thing - but yesterday all bets were off, so I started worrying that we needed to do something else.  Thanks to everyone for your replies - these give me a lot of ideas to work with.

    I'm hoping a lot of it is just her being 3 and me being pregnant - what a combination!

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  • A&JmomA&Jmom
    We continued TO at that age, but like you it stopped having much affect.  So, around 3 or 3.5 we also started a sticker chart for her behavior.  If she made it to nap time without any TOs she got a sticker and then again from naptime to bedtime. We set a goal of however many stickers (can't remember what it was) and when she reached it she got to go to Chuck E Cheese (her choice of the reward). It worked well for us for a long time.  Once J was born we (DH and I) got out of the habit though.
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  • bobcatstephbobcatsteph member

    Up until recently, we haven't had to do much TO (the 1-2-3 thing was working for the most part) but the limit testing is BAD right now. TOs go pretty much how you described them..it's a game to her.

    We've started taking her to her room and holding the door shut (she can open it) for 2 minutes. She screams her head off for about 1.5 minutes, then she calms down and I go in.

    This stage is so hard and we're not even at 3 yet.

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