Should I just let this go?::UPDATED::

missyjg · December 2011

We have been actively trying for #2, going through IUI's again. I went for some bloodwork and I always chat with the phlebotomists. I guess I should have just been quiet. We got talking, and based on my bloodwork that I needed, it was obvious it was for fertility. After telling her my very abbreviated version of my TTC life, this is what she said to me. "You don't pray hard enough". I was a little floored but then she said it again. She also asked if I go to church. I don't, for my own reasons. She then said I was "being punished by God and that I should really go to church". Thank God I didn't tell her about my losses or I think I'd have gone psycho on her. My responses were lame, I was just really hurt by that, she had me in tears. I just said I though she was a bitter, mean women who shouldn't be working with the public and as a women she should be ashamed of herself.

Ok so all I need to do is pray harder and go to church? Then I will get pregnant? WTH was I thinking going though all this crap?

Ok the above was the vent... I feel like I want to file a complaint, I actually want to punch her, but I will maintain civility. Would you or should I just let this go as someone who doesn't realize how spiteful and mean she's being? Thanks lady for starting my Friday out so fabulously!

jnk062602 · December 2011

I think that is a horrible thing for her to say in general. And completely unprofessional and out of line to say while working.

I do believe in miracles. I don't believe church attendance buys your miracles. Like what - swagbucks? You go enough and cash in?

I don't think there are any answers to stuff like that. I don't think that God answers "yes" to people based on merit or who deserves it more. But why are some children born in to homes that don't love them when there are so many homes that would love to have another child? Would she say that to a parent of a critically ill child or one that just died? That they didn't pray hard enough.

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt · December 2011

I would have been FURIOUS! Do not let this go. I would absolutely call the office and ask to speak to a manager and also write a letter of complaint to the company. Her comments were rude and unprofessional.

olivia_eve · December 2011

Wow, the nerve of that woman. I would absolutely talk to someone and file a complaint. If she doesn't realize how awful she sounds, she should, and filing a complaint may help someone else. If someone said that to me after my loss I seriously would have struggled to keep my composure. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Telyco · December 2011

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt:
I would have been FURIOUS! Do not let this go. I would absolutely call the office and ask to speak to a manager and also write a letter of complaint to the company. Her comments were rude and unprofessional.

This x 1000!!! If you need help drafting a letter, please let us know. I would be so livid that I wouldn't rest until she was severely reprimanded or fired. I'm so sorry she said to you. God has nothing to do with this, faith or not...it's f-ing science. And I wouldn't want a bible thumper helping me with my medical care. It's contradictory. She can live her happy little blessed life, but you need smart people helping you out! Man that makes me so mad. What's their phone number??? Hehe. Again, I'm sorry

TinyPinkBug · December 2011

Write a complaint. I would do it in writing as opposed to calling so that you are sure that none of what you say gets left out. Where was the phlob? Was she in your office or at a lab? If she was at the lab, I would write a letter and send to both to the lab and the Dr office that sent you there. What she said was rude, insensitive, uncalled for, completely incorrect, unprofessional....

Two*True · December 2011

Rude and unprofessional. A complaint is more than justified. I'd call/write her supervisor and if this was an outside lab your doc sent you to I would also tell your doctor of the unprofessional conduct at that office.

missyjg · December 2011

Thanks. This lady was at the AMC labs and was the only one working. I like the idea of a letter. I am an emotional mess b/c of the hormones so I'd probably burst out crying if I called the manager. Ugh, why does this crap happen to me. Thanks ladies. Your responses made me feel better:)

June4bride2be · December 2011

missyjg:
Thanks. This lady was at the AMC labs and was the only one working. I like the idea of a letter. I am an emotional mess b/c of the hormones so I'd probably burst out crying if I called the manager. Ugh, why does this crap happen to me. Thanks ladies. Your responses made me feel better:)

That is terrible! I would totally complain (letter or whatever), that woman had no right to say what she did!

Which ACM?

Ashnmike528 · December 2011

I can't BELIEVE that came out of the mouth of a "medical professional." I seriously gasped reading your post. I personally would write a letter, to make sure you don't leave anything out. That way it can be thought out and complete, because I tend to get very emotional and forget half the things I wanted to say when talking to someone.

I'm so,so sorry that happened to you. :-(

missyjg · December 2011

June4bride2be:

missyjg:
Thanks. This lady was at the AMC labs and was the only one working. I like the idea of a letter. I am an emotional mess b/c of the hormones so I'd probably burst out crying if I called the manager. Ugh, why does this crap happen to me. Thanks ladies. Your responses made me feel better:)

That is terrible! I would totally complain (letter or whatever), that woman had no right to say what she did!

Which ACM?

Genesee Street. Just b/c it's close to work and I didn't want to be late.

MelissaSue81 · December 2011

I think you need to file a complaint. That is a completely innappropriate thing to say to anyone.. especially for someone working in the medical field.

JenJar · December 2011

100% do NOT let that go! What a horrible thing to say. Please document it and let her supervisor know. I'm so sorry you had to experience that.

Courtneyw04 · December 2011

You should not let this go. I would complain to the office. It is already hard enough to deal with the emotions of infertility, you don't need some office staff member making it worse.

TinaL99 · December 2011

I would absolutely file a complaint. Religion has no place in a professional medical practice. How dare she say that to you, I'm really angry for you right now! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I would have had the same reaction that you had.

Oh and what Telyco said.

ArcticFox · December 2011

Wow - I am SHOCKED. I can't believe she would bring up her personal religious beliefs in a professional setting. That was uncalled for, and hurtful. Aside from being religious beliefs, it was just mean and hurtful. I would definitely write a complaint!

Was she affiliated with your OB's practice? Or somewhere else? Like we have St Peter's hospital here, it is a Catholic affiliation I believe (like they won't do tubals), so I would be 'less' shocked, but uncalled for nonetheless.

prncsstp · December 2011

missyjg:

I just said I though she was a bitter, mean women who shouldn't be working with the public and as a women she should be ashamed of herself.

Did you actually say this to her? good for you! What was her response.

She was incredibly rude and unprofessional. I would both write a letter and follow up with a phone call a week or so later afer you and the letter to make sure someone read it.

In the letter, I would make sure to put your name and contact info - phone and email, and tell them you expect a reply.

Hopefully you have her name to be able to accurately point out this offensive b!tch

dle927 · December 2011

Absolutely file a complaint.

Mrs_Hark · December 2011

TinaL99:

I would absolutely file a complaint. Religion has no place in a professional medical practice. How dare she say that to you, I'm really angry for you right now! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I would have had the same reaction that you had.

Oh and what Telyco said.

this times 1000.

seriously, if going to church and asking God to fix any medical problem worked she'd be out of a job and i would have let her know that. what rude little christian woman (or whatever the hell denomination she is)

definitely file a complaint, a letter is ok, but a phone call would let your emotional response be more effective. she hurt you and they should know that.

wendyj · December 2011

You definitely need to file a complaint, in writing. That was beyond the realm of unprofessionalism. Be sure to indicate in your letter that you expect a reply from them regarding how exactly they are going to handle the matter.

goosh24 · December 2011

Absolutely do not let it go! Everyone has has given really good advice and I don't think there's much more I can add, but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that that happened

festivus · December 2011

File a complaint, without a doubt. She can believe whatever she wants, but she shouldn't be sharing it in that way.

June4bride2be · December 2011

missyjg:
June4bride2be:

missyjg:
Thanks. This lady was at the AMC labs and was the only one working. I like the idea of a letter. I am an emotional mess b/c of the hormones so I'd probably burst out crying if I called the manager. Ugh, why does this crap happen to me. Thanks ladies. Your responses made me feel better:)

That is terrible! I would totally complain (letter or whatever), that woman had no right to say what she did!

Which ACM?

Genesee Street. Just b/c it's close to work and I didn't want to be late.

Oh ok...I was worried it was the girl I have seen this week a our new Chili location! I would have gone in there and gave her a piece of my mind. I will not however go anywhere near Genesee street! lol

Write that letter and get that woman punished!

EJDIII · December 2011

I am sorry this happened to you. It was very hurtful and unprofessional. I would def file a complaint. Again, I'm sorry. [[Hugs]]

liltatgirl0280 · December 2011

OMG I really hope you follow the advice and file a complaint. She had no right to say any of that to you. If I could I would punch her for you!

sunnygirl05 · December 2011

Unbelievable!!!!!! Definitely file a complaint. And here I find myself saying AGAIN what the heck is wrong with people??

missyjg · December 2011

So I called my RE office, I'd have never thought to do that, thanks ladies. Her first question was why did I go to that lab location, (it's not a good area but it's very close to work). Regardless, it's a lab and should have the same standards as every other lab. The nurse told me she was going to talk to my RE and they would get back to me. She called me back and had a number that I should call. This was a director of patient services and she was amazingly considerate and understanding. I had written down everything and she assured me that this lady was going to no longer be employed by ACM labs. They had 2 other complaints and was repremanded 2 times with a warning that another complaint would be a job loss. So yes, she basically did this religious bout 2 other times and still kept her job, UNBELIEVABLE. I honestly think my RE demanded her termination, I'm not sure that it would have happened otherwise. That's just my gut feeling though. The director apologized several times and I think that's all they can do.

Thank you ladies. I really appreciated your comments. I feel so much better now that I said something. ::sigh:: I need wine.

TinaL99 · December 2011

I'm so glad you called. I'm sorry you had to go through this but at least it will prevent any other ladies from having to deal with the same thing. Have some wine tonight. Cheers! Drinks

wendyj · December 2011

That's really good to hear. I'm glad you called the RE.

lawells15 · December 2011

WHAT??? I would have been so mad. People should keep their opinions to themselves. I'm so sorry you had to endure that. People don't understand how much infertility and losses hurt!