Would you be mad? (kinda long)

xxbabycakesxx · December 2011

So Griff usually takes his afternoons naps around 3pm but can't anymore because thats what time my mom usually picks him up and brings him to her house (til I get off work). He'll fall asleep in the car ride there but once he gets there, he can't fall back asleep. Its too chaotic there.

Anyway, so yesterday I go to pick Griff up and I find him sleeping still in his carseat in the car (which was parked in the garage) with my dad. I got so upset. Supposedly they felt bad for him and didn't want to wake him up. So, my dad left the car on so the heater would stay on but kept the garage door open.

The reason why I'm upset is cause you can still smell the car fumes even if the garage door is open. The heater sucks up that air...right? And its freaking winter @ss cold here. Theres snow and windchill and everything. Sure Griff was bundled up but I still think it gets cold in a vehicle.

I know my parents had good intentions but he was in the vehicle like that for an hour til I got there. Would you be upset?

--halo-- · December 2011

Yea, I would probably be upset for a little bit. If they had left the car parked outside I think it would have been okay, I do that with Jackson when he falls asleep in his car seat and it's naptime.

I think the fact that they stayed in the car with him, left the heater on, and the garage door open means that they were definitely thinking about his safety. They just didn't do quite enough to make me feel 100% comfortable. So if it were me I'd say please don't do that again, but I'd get over it really quick.

kat81again2 · December 2011

I would not be mad because it's free childcare and presumably you didn't tell them ahead of time what to do in this situation. They made a thoughtful decision based on different factors and your dad sat in there with him to make sure the temp was ok and that nothing bad was going to happen. I'm not saying they made the right choice but I am saying that I wouldn't be mad about that choice because they tried and it wasn't that unreasonable. I'm also not saying they're even wrong, either...it's a tough call what to do with a sleeping baby! If you don't think you can change Griff's nap schedule to fit your work schedule I would consider paying for a sitter because it's only a few hours a day and wouldn't cost much.

ETA: Also--and this is not to belittle the feelings you're having about it but rather to let you see another perspective--this story actually made me have a "awww...grandparents are so cute" moment. They really did try. And they wasted all of that gas on having their car keep running and have the heat going, and if the garage is in the least bit heated they wasted all of that with the door open...all for Griff. It reminds me of how the first time FIL and MIL watched DS for an evening he ended up sleeping on them and not in the pack & play because they wouldn't let him cry for a second without picking him up...so they also didn't go to bed themselves before we got home (NEITHER did) even though it was midnight. So basically they didn't do things right, they didn't do what we told them to do, but it just made me happy because they were trying so hard and were being so cute about it. At least your parents are really caring and that's what Griff needs...they'll learn more with your feedback exactly what to do and what not to do and hopefully they'll be responsive. :-) GL!

Mommysaurus123 · December 2011

Yes and no. I agree with kat that they were trying to be thoughtful. And if your dad was there, I'm assuming he figured that he couldn't smell it so your LO couldn't either? I know that in our garage, you can't smell the fumes when the car is running and the door is open.

So I'd be a little upset about this if it does get really fumey in the car, but if not, I'd be happy that they thought to let him get his nap in.

xxbabycakesxx · December 2011

kat81again2:
I can change Griff's nap schedule to fit your work schedule I would consider paying for a sitter because it's only a few hours a day and wouldn't cost much.

Oh I wish I could find someone I could trust to babysit at home but theres no one. The trust issue is all me but we also have 2 dogs... and one is very difficult with strangers.

jillybean800 · December 2011

I honestly think that since your dad was out there and the garage door was open, that Griff was safe. Maybe totally outside would have been better, but a garage door is huge and would provide good ventilation. You can even spray paint in a garage with the door open and not worry about fumes. So maybe you can get a little upset or ask them not to do it again, but I don't think any harm was really done this time around

xxbabycakesxx · December 2011

Ok I guess I'll cut them some slack.

Its just, I guess, when I walked into the garage you could totally smell fumes (yea, I know, Griff was *in* the vehicle though) and when I opened the car door it felt chilly in there. Maybe its just me being an over protective mommy =S

Strunella · December 2011

Ok, apparently, I am in the minority, but I would have been FUMING! (no pun intended). My parents would definitely have gotten an earful. In fact, recently when DH and DS were in the car waiting for me to go somewhere, I thought they were in front of the house, but they were still in the garage. And the garage reeked of car fumes. I said to DH, "Next time, you really need to pull the car out of the garage! I don't want him breathing in the fumes!" He said he thought I'd be right out (I was about 5 minutes). And that was 5 minutes, nevermind an hour! Seriously, not a good idea or exercise in common sense in my opinion. I would be really upset.

enjoylife · December 2011

Sorry.....but I would've flipped too. The risk of carbon monoxide poisoning is too high imo. If they wanted to keep him in the carseat and not wake him then it would've been better to keep the car off and add more blankets or unfortunately wake sleeping baby and go indoors. Even if they couldnt smell anything doesn't mean it wasn't present....not enough good air circulation in garages.

scrh2010 · December 2011

Also, the heater doesn't necessarily pull in air from the surrounding air. Did he not have it on recirculate?

lrn327 · December 2011

I wouldn't be too upset about it but I'd nicely communicate that you don't think it's safe and do not want them to do it again. Sometimes if C falls asleep in the car on the way home, I just turn off the car and put a heavy blanket over him and sit with him in the garage. I know it's cold but maybe you could add extra blankets so they can let him sleep for a little while without the heater on? I probably don't have a good concept of really how cold it is though!

OliveBaby · December 2011

I totally get being upset, but I'd definitely let it go, and ask them not to do it again (ask them to park it outside and make sure the air isn't pulling from outside).

MrsNoPhun · December 2011

Absolutely. I would 100% hands down rather the person drive around until the baby wakes up than to sit in a parked car in a garage. Door open or not. The risk for carbon monoxide poisoning is way too high. Not to mention, you can't smell it and newer cars really don't smell of fumes in the first place. So the whole I couldn't smell the fumes logic here doesn't apply. This could have potentially been a bad situation. To err on the side of caution I would ask them not to do it again, and explain to them that you would hate for something to happen. It would be far better for them to drive around until LO wakes up, or to just take him out of his seat and immediately take him somewhere quiet and lay down with him. This just has bad idea written all over it.

TripMomma · December 2011

I would be pissed. I have had 2 different friends who started their car to warm it up while they finished getting ready only to have the cars catch on fire and burn up. They said it was so fast if their kids had been in the car they are not sure they could have got them out. I saw pictures of their cars, and their kids carseats, black and charred, makes me think twice about leaving my kiddos in the car while it is on. I honestly think leaving kids unattended in a vehicle is just a no no.

xxbabycakesxx · December 2011

MrsNoPhun:
Absolutely. I would 100% hands down rather the person drive around until the baby wakes up than to sit in a parked car in a garage. Door open or not. The risk for carbon monoxide poisoning is way too high. Not to mention, you can't smell it and newer cars really don't smell of fumes in the first place. So the whole I couldn't smell the fumes logic here doesn't apply. This could have potentially been a bad situation. To err on the side of caution I would ask them not to do it again, and explain to them that you would hate for something to happen. It would be far better for them to drive around until LO wakes up, or to just take him out of his seat and immediately take him somewhere quiet and lay down with him. This just has bad idea written all over it.

Oh I didn't even think about telling them to drive around instead next time this happens. Thanks for the reminder.

What made me upset was the fumes. I mean... don't people kill themselves that way or whatever? I know thats a bit different and the garage door was open but I just had a bad feeling about this.

xxbabycakesxx · December 2011

TripMomma:
I would be pissed. I have had 2 different friends who started their car to warm it up while they finished getting ready only to have the cars catch on fire and burn up. They said it was so fast if their kids had been in the car they are not sure they could have got them out. I saw pictures of their cars, and their kids carseats, black and charred, makes me think twice about leaving my kiddos in the car while it is on. I honestly think leaving kids unattended in a vehicle is just a no no.

Omg, are you serious?? I always warm up my car for at least 5 min in the garage (door opened) in the winter. Maybe I should stop doing that now...

xxbabycakesxx · December 2011

scrh2010:
Also, the heater doesn't necessarily pull in air from the surrounding air. Did he not have it on recirculate?

I have no idea.

[Deleted User] · December 2011

xxbabycakesxx:
MrsNoPhun:
Absolutely. I would 100% hands down rather the person drive around until the baby wakes up than to sit in a parked car in a garage. Door open or not. The risk for carbon monoxide poisoning is way too high. Not to mention, you can't smell it and newer cars really don't smell of fumes in the first place. So the whole I couldn't smell the fumes logic here doesn't apply. This could have potentially been a bad situation. To err on the side of caution I would ask them not to do it again, and explain to them that you would hate for something to happen. It would be far better for them to drive around until LO wakes up, or to just take him out of his seat and immediately take him somewhere quiet and lay down with him. This just has bad idea written all over it.
Oh I didn't even think about telling them to drive around instead next time this happens. Thanks for the reminder.
What made me upset was the fumes. I mean... don't people kill themselves that way or whatever? I know thats a bit different and the garage door was open but I just had a bad feeling about this.

Yeah, people accidentally kill themselves this way too. Car on = OUT of the garage. I don't think they meant harm, just correct them. I'm glad everyone was safe.

lulu8109 · December 2011

I'd be upset about the part where the car was running in the garage. But I would just tell them never to do that again and tell them what they should do instead. They did TRY to be safe, but IMO it was not safe enough.

I agree that even with the garage door open, some of the fumes still stay in the garage. I also heat my car up in the garage for 5-10 minutes in the morning, with the door open, and I can actually see the fumes blow back into the garage. I figure for 5 minutes it's not too bad... but maybe I should pull my car out into the driveway from now on.

They should have kept the running car parked in the driveway and bundled him up with extra blankets if it still wasn't warm enough.

Btw, I read your OP wrong at first and thought they left him unattended!!! Indifferent

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