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LGBT Parenting
Baby Nurse?
Most of our friends decided to hire a baby nurse for the first few weeks after baby came home full time and then weened off to 1 day a week for a reprieve for a few more months.
I was always against getting a baby nurse until my mom passed away a few months ago. Now I feel like I may need the extra help. My husband is very hands on but his work is stressful as well...
Who has had a baby nurse and what are your experiences? Did you still feel like you got to bond 100% with your little one?? Did you moms,aunts, friends then help during the day??
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Re: Baby Nurse?
Do you mean nurse as in RN, or are you using the term nurse to mean nanny or assistant? I'm confused by that because I don't see why you would have a nurse unless it's medically necessary. Otherwise it would not be covered by insurance and it would be quite expensive.
You are probably thinking of a post partum doula. Actually one of our regulars, JoySeattle, is a PP Doula and can answer questions you have.
But personally, no, we didn't - financially it wasn't in the cards. My ILs stayed with us for a week after they were born, but were very hands off and didn't help during the night. My partner was home for the first 2 weeks and went back to work PT (which was really more like 30hrs/week) for a week and then went back FT. Having someone help during the night sounds great, but I was pumping every 2-3 hrs so I would have still had to get up anyway and thankfully my kids would go back to sleep after feeding pretty easily. DP and I had a lot of infant experience so we felt comfortable with them from the start.
I think baby nurses are a fairly regional thing. They are popular in the southern part of my state and NYC/Long Island area.
My experience was different because I didnt birth (or subsequently BF) my newborns, but I also didnt get a maternity leave - and even in that difficult situation, my wife and I mangaged just fine (we had no family help). That being said, if I was a first time mom and was planning on breast feeding and had the resources, I could see it being really helpful.
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It sounds like the woman on "Bethenny Having a Baby" on the Bravo show.
My two cents: while I would have appreciated some help so I could, say, take an uninterrupted, long, de-stressing shower or get a full night's sleep a couple of times a week, I don't think I would have liked having someone taking over entirely. I really enjoyed the early days with J when we hung out together and figured each other out. I think adding another person into the mix full-time, and with those kinds of expectations, may have gotten in the way of our bonding.
That said, I'm pretty sure nurses and PP doulas will do as much or as little as you want/ask them to. If you'd like just a little bit of help, I think they'd accommodate that. Likewise, if you want someone to sort of take over, I'm sure you can find that, too.
This.
But I also have to say that you're not a nurse unless you're an LPN, RN or upper level RN--for example with a masters degree like (but not limited to) nurse practitioners, nurse anesthetists, critical care nurses, etc.
That's a huge pet peeve of mine, when people just throw the term nurse around. Without the specific education and licensure you're not a nurse and it's actually illegal for people to "misrepresent" themselves as one (I'm not saying you were, OP). Also, really not trying to be rude, just an FYI
Late to respond (due to being on vacation), but, I totally agree with many of the previous posters and I'll add a bit. Postpartum doulas (which are different but perhaps serve a similar role as "baby nurses" are focused on supporting the transition of a family during the postpartum period. No one should mis-represent themselves as something they aren't (i.e. calling ones' self a baby nurse without an RN+ degree/license). According to DONA, one of the leading certification orgs for doulas:
"Research evidence shows that the quality services of a postpartum doula can ease the transition that comes with the addition of a baby to a family, improve parental satisfaction and reduce the risk of mood disorders.
A Postpartum Doula
A postpartum doula certified by DONA International is designated by the initials PCD(DONA)."
Many postpartum doula clients are navigating challenges associated with birth recovery (specifically cesarean birth), multiples, severe sleep deprivation and/or mental health/postpartum mood disorders. While many are affluent, clients can also be low-income (with postpartum doula working at a free or reduced rate) or middle-income with financial support from FSA/HSA pre-tax reimbursement, doula registry (i.e. friends and family contributing to a fund) or prioritizing professional support for this time. It's definitely not for everyone, but the focus should be on supporting the mental, emotional and physical health of all family members to ensure that proper bonding and education is happening.