FI wants cat all of a sudden?

SarahsoontobeFleeman · December 2011

For some reason my fiance has been wanting a cat all of sudden. I have no idea where this desire came from at all. I am an animal lover but we recently moved into our new home and we decided to remain pet free until we are established in our home with our LO. He has been texting me all day while I've been at school with excuses as to why we should get this 2yr old, indoor, trained cat that he has been talking with it's owner. He works nights so I'm home alone a lot of the time and he says the cat will keep me company and blah blah blah. He knows the risks with pregnant women and says he'll take care of all the maintenance involved. I am so angry but I don't want to sound like I never want a cat because that's not true. Am I being dramatic or should I be okay with getting a cat 6 weeks before our LO arrives? HELP! Aghhhh!

kmm2150 · December 2011

I love animals, too, and adult cats are definitely easier than say, a new puppy, in general but there is no WAY I would introduce a new pet except maybe a goldfish 6 weeks before having a baby! It doesn't matter how great the cat is, you have no idea how he'll react to a new home, new people, new environment, and you will have enough on your plate without trying to adjust your routine to also taking care of a cat. Hopefully the owner can find another good home for the cat (though I would want to know why he's giving up this pet?), and you and your FI can wait and get a pet when you're more settle with your LO.

lukalover · December 2011

Do not do it! Cats are so unpredictable that a well trained 2 year old can be a completely different cat in a new household. I am a cat lover and have 2 (and a dog). The second one we adopted on a whim. He's really affectionate and I love him to death but he can be really curious and destructive just because he's bored. He's a total monkey and there is no way to keep him out of places where we don't want him going unless we can close a door. It has been an added stress for us wondering how this will all play out when baby arrives. We're committed to keeping him but it will definitely be more work than if we didn't have him. BTW he just turned 3 and still acts like a kitten so being an adult cat doesn't necessarily mean he will be calm. Definitely wait until you are settled with the baby before you get a cat.

baloneydisc · December 2011

I wouldn't do it. Cats don't always handle change well. Our last cat we had no problems with, got him at 12-weeks, brought him into a home with 3 dogs and another cat. We ended up giving our other cat to my parents and one of our dogs passed away. Still no issues with cat #2. Then we got another dog and within a couple of weeks the cat started peeing on our carpet. He was very clingy, so I'm guessing his reaction would've been the same to a new baby.

SarahsoontobeFleeman · December 2011

Thank you all so much. I feel bad for being so against it but I needed something to say to him and get it in his mind that it is not a good idea. I don't think he will just go get it behind my back so as long as I stay strong with my cons as why we should wait everything should be fine. I'm just so confused as to why he feels the need to get a cat so bad when he has a beautiful daughter arriving very very soon. Crazy men. Haha.

Tracilaroo · December 2011

That's too much change for everyone involved. The cat needs time in a new home with some stability to feel safe and introducing a new baby within a few weeks will certainly not give him that. It will also not allow you time to give the cat the attention it deserves and needs to properly bond with you and your husband before feeling able to share either. Maybe try to explain it to your husband from the cat's side and not from the human side.

n&bcarlson · December 2011

Not sure I would do it, mainly because a 2 yo cat is an unknown quantity. I'd be more likely to go for it if the cat is female, as I think they adjust better, but still. The main thing is you won't get a chance to bond with the cat much before baby arrives, and baby arriving could freak out a cat who is still adjusting. I'd take the "risk" of cats when pregnant or around a new baby with a grain of salt, but the adjustment issue is real. You may be better off waiting a few months and then adopting a kitten. Actually, I suggest two kittens. Kittens adjust really well to a new environment, the baby will already be a part of that world, and when you get a pair, they have a built in playmate. April-May is prime kitten season at the animal shelters. Maybe you can hold FI off until then?

Kristine Schilling · December 2011

kmm2150:
I love animals, too, and adult cats are definitely easier than say, a new puppy, in general but there is no WAY I would introduce a new pet except maybe a goldfish 6 weeks before having a baby! It doesn't matter how great the cat is, you have no idea how he'll react to a new home, new people, new environment, and you will have enough on your plate without trying to adjust your routine to also taking care of a cat. Hopefully the owner can find another good home for the cat (though I would want to know why he's giving up this pet?), and you and your FI can wait and get a pet when you're more settle with your LO.

Ditto. I work in the pet industry. And as much as we all love animals, the last thing you need right now, right before baby arrives is to acclimate a new cat. It has nothing to do with care and cleaning. it has to do with new cat behavior.

If the owner is trying to pressure your Fi, make sure they understand that there are plenty of adoption groups and non-kill shelters for this situation.

klrrat · December 2011

We have a 1year 4mo old boxer, who is a great dog! We had gotten a kitten about a week before we found out we were expecting, and we ended up having to find a new home for her. My dog and her were fine but she was out of control and there was no way i could keep up with it all. I would defiantly wait to get any pets, if we didn't already have a dog we would have waited for sure.

m1ssl1ss · December 2011

IMO you should wait until after LO. not only will he have to learn to balance helping with LO & managing a cat box but some cats will negatively react to your hormone changes. Wait about three months. It would suck to adopt a cat then have him turn around and be ready to get rid of it in a month. :

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