DH and I were talking about this last night and it got me thinking about what other moms think.
Is college a must for your LO and other children to be? Or will you be happy if they go to vocational/trade school?
I have a bachelors from a top school in my field and debate going back for my masters. My parents never forced me to go to college, they just said I HAD to do something whether it be 4 years, 2 years, or a trade school like cosmetology or culinary. DH however did a 2 year acting academy and went on to be a somewhat sucessful actor in LA for 5 years. He tried the ''real'' college route for 2 years and it wasn't for him. He went on to get has his real estate license and is kicking butt in his career. He does not have a 4 year or even 2 year degree.
I guess I feel like I would hope my child would go the college route, but I know that's not for everyone (as it wasn't for DH). As long as my child picks a trade or vocation and sticks to it, I'd be happy with that.
Re: LO's future- is college a *must*
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No, it's not. I know plenty of losers still living with their moms and have their master's and I know some awesome and successful people who never even went to trade school and learned from hard knocks.
As long as they are doing what they love and are contributing members to society, then I say they are okay in my book!
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I am a resident. If I sub-specialize, that's 14 years of higher education before I'm a "real" doctor in my field. That a shitton of education, and you only put yourself through that if you truly love what you do. DH does computer stuff with a bachelor's. Obviously we understand the value of higher education.
We want our kids to do whatever they love. (Within reason. You can't crash on our couch and be bum because that's what you "love.") Unfortunately, college is now just the next step. There are so many people with a degree working outside their field. Even when I was there, I saw so many kids who were just in college because that was what was expected. If they decide on a chosen vocation that doesn't require a 4 year degree, great! Some of those technical fields can be well compensated careers.
I actually really love and agree with this. I too, know tons of people with master's degrees that are still not doing anything with their lives.
I like the idea of my children being educated, so I really have high hopes for them to attend college. However, I too, know plenty of people who have never taken a single college course and still have done very well. My good friend works for Fed Ex as a driver and makes over 100k a year. I think their happiness matters most! I'd prefer for them to attend college, but if their heart is somewhere else, I support that as well.
This. I also know a lot of kids who were pushed into college only to flush their educations (or lack thereof) down the toilet by flunking their classes and/or taking so long they never finished. If all they're going to do is waste my/their time and money, then there's no point.
That said, my kids will be highly encouraged to go to college. DH hasn't had any secondary education yet and highly regrets that. I know he will have a lot to teach our kids about that.
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Our Opinion:
College, Maybe. Some sort of education/trade school.. absolutely. I would prefer LO go to college, absolutely. Will I encourage her to do that? YEP!
BUT if she decides she want to grow up sell real estate like her daddy.. she doesn't need college for that, and that's fine- she would need a different type of training.
Either way we want her to have some sort of skill/trade training for whatever she aims for in life.
General answer? Yes. If my child feels very strongly that another path is better for him/her, we'd be open to discussing it and I wouldnt say no or force my child to attend college when it would do nothing for what they want. But it'd have to be a VERY strong inclination.
But generally - yes, it's a must. h and I both believe a great deal in education for education's sake and I think there is a lot of value to college beyond your diploma and job upon graduation. But like I said, I'd be willing to consider other options, but as a default, college.
Also, Annerz22 your story is sorta like mine and DH's!
I have a bachelor degree and DH went to film school for 2 years in Nashville, hoping for a big movie career. He didn't like the "school" part, but ended up making a ton of contacts and still does movies for fun. He ended up coming home and doing real estate (Nashville on the weekends). He doesn't have a degree of any kind either, but he does have his real estate license and auctioneer license and he makes more money than I do!
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I went to college for 3 years and hated it, I quit and joined the military. I'm an IT specialist and learned more in the military than I did in college. I wont force my child to pursue the military or college but it would be nice considering the military will pay for my child to go to college for 4 years.
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I do know this: When I was 18 and freshly out of high school, I started college because I felt like it was the next expected step. I had no idea what I wanted. I dabbled in this and that in college and never really found my niche. Then I got pregnant and dropped schooling for over two years. Coming back into it at 23, I tested the water with Early Childhood Education figuring at least I'd be a better parent for it and at most -- I'd love it.
I loved it. It took me until the age of 23 to realize what I wanted my life career to be.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I don't expect my 18 year old to know what they really want to do for the rest of their life, therefore I don't expect them to jump headfirst into college.
As long as they get their butt out of my house and start supporting themselves, I will be supportive of them. As long as they're happy, healthy, and not falling into a mess, they can choose whatever amount of schooling after high school they want.
You can be pretty successful without a college degree, but it's definitely easier with one.
I don't think college is the default answer. My brother has a 4 year degree and is now apprenticed to an electrician. I think he'd have been better off with a 2 year business associates and a 2 year leap on the apprenticeship.
There's an argument to be made for academia for the sake of academia, but frankly, I want my kids to have stable, secure, fulfilling careers. The amount I've bounced around proves that college doesn't necessarily guarantee that.
Because I worked in higher education for awhile, my perspective is different than a lot of my friends/peers. Most of us were expected to go to college and not given other choices. My feelings are also influenced by the fact that DH dropped out of college after we got married - due to personal problems, he'd had several bad semesters, wasn't happy and he got a full time job with benefits and was happy with that. I was happy to support whatever decision he made. He returned to college a few months after our son died, but it's very slow going. He may graduate in May 2013, or it may be the following fall, depending on class availability - and he returned as a senior!
So for me - I think post-secondary education is something that a person should do only if they want to do so and are willing to embrace the entire experience of higher education. It's not something that should be done because they don't know what else to do, or because they are forced to, and I hate it when parents pay all the bills (90% of those kids did not apply themselves, dawdled around and drank too much). If my kid wants to go to a trade school or or something like that, good for them. Honestly, that's where the money is now and it may still be that way.
I think education is great and important, but I firmly believe it should be for personal enrichment, not a stepping stone to a job. Whatever is going to make my kid happy is fine. I have no plans to support them forever, so s/he'll have to go out and find a job or figure things out - but what they choose is up to them (er, barring illegal activities or unsafe professions, of course. I mean, they still could, but I couldn't condone it).
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We'll definitely encourage college, but if we have a kid that knows from age 15 he/she wants to be a mechanic or something, then we'll encourage that passion.
My little brother (actually all 3 of us) had full-ride 4-yr tuition covered at an in-state school. Brother walked away from it, after we all begged him to give it a shot at least, and eventually joined the Air Force. He's on a great track now, but admitted to us after basic that he will always regret and wonder about college. His income has definitely taken a hit going this route vs school first then AF, even, but I tell myself that this was the path God intended for him.
I personally don't subscribe to the "college just isn't my style" school of thought, because there really is one for most everyone, unless your passion really doesn't require it. (Especially if it's free!) Still SMH now and then...ah, siblings.
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