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Blaming the younger brother

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in Austin Babies

Recently Megan started a new thing where she blames things that she knows DH and I won't like on Ryan.  I actually don't know when she's telling the truth and when she's not most of the time.  And I do think Ryan is doing at least some of these things.  Like the other night the kids grabbed some zip ties and ran with them while DH and I were getting the tree into the treestand and had no free hands to stop them.  When I went looking for them the kids were on our bed giggling uncontrollably together.  I asked where the zip ties where and Megan said "Ryan flushes them down the tiolet".  Sure enough the toilet had been flushed and I saw one zip tie way down in there.  Thing is I kinda believe her that Ryan did it.  But then yesterday and this morning there was pee in the little potty and I asked her to dump it out.  She usually goes on the big potty but the little potty is out for Ryan and she will use it occassionally.  She told me it wasnt' her, it was Ryan.  And I know it wasn't.  This morning when she said it Ryan wasn't even awake yet!  I'm sure its just a phase but I don't know what to say to her, especially since a lot of the time I have no idea if she's telling the truth or not.  I guess I'm not really worried about figuing out who did it, I'm more concerned with not encouraging the behavior of blaming her brother, if that makes sense.

Wow that was long, if you made it this far thanks for reading!

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Re: Blaming the younger brother

  • rssnlvrrssnlvr
    Lying is a HUGE deal in our house. If she blamed it on him in a situation when I knew for sure that it wasn't him, I would respond to that very seriously and she'd be reprimanded. Once she learns that it's a big no-no, hopefully the other, less clear situations would resolve themselves.
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  • august8080august8080 member
    Sorry, I have no advice, but that picture of your kids is so adorable!
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  • kellenicklekellenickle

    Marlee did this for awhile - though, with our pets, so it was a little easier to call her on it. :)

    We talked about lying, taking responsibility, why it's important, etc.

    We also kind of turned the tables on her... When she would do something "good" (picking up her toys, etc) we would give the credit to our pets ("oh look! Bubba must have cleaned up for us, let's give him a treat!").  She would get upset, and it would give us a (kinda weird) but teachable moment. 

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  • Temp13436125005166Temp13436125005166

    Thanks for the responses, and thanks august8080 :-)

    I'm not super concerned with the lying, but more the blaming.  I've read several times that its just a part of development.  I doubt I could explain it well but its something along the lines of we interpret lying and reality very different from children.  Sort of if you saw it through their eyes it wouldn't look like a lie.  That said I'm having trouble seeing the Ryan pee'd in the potty not me (while he was asleep in his crib) through her eyes :-)  But I do think there is something underlying there, like maybe she's worried about getting in trouble? Hmmm I'm just not sure.  Thanks for your comment rssnlvr, I do think you're right that I need to make sure Megan undestands that honesty is something very important and a value on our family.  And I do probably need to set a limit at telling the truth and then hold that limit.

    Kelle - good to know Megan isn't the only one and too funny about the pets!

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