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How do you handle this?

august8080august8080 member
in Austin Babies

How do you respond when others correct your child in front of you? This could range from almost complete strangers to extended family. Also, in the scenario(s) I'm thinking of, you, the mother, are in the vicinity and clearly attentive to your child (you're not distracted by your other kids, cooking dinner in another room, etc etc). Additionally, your child is not doing anything related to the other persons child (if applicable). Meaning they aren't hitting this person's kid, taking their toy, etc.

I would love feedback!

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Re: How do you handle this?

  • ali-1411ali-1411 member

    It really depends on the situation.  I'm often with friends and we'll stop each other's kids from screaming, taking toys, whatever.  We'll tell them No and then redirect, we don't discipline each other's kids - like time out - unless we're babysitting. 

    I've had complete strangers try to console/talk to Layna when she's in a tantrum in public.  I just smile and say, "You know 3 yr olds!"  because they have the right intentions. 

    I dunno...I can't really think of a time when it was an issue.  Can you give an example?

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  • august8080august8080 member
    Sorry, I guess I should add--every time it's happened, it's a situation in which I would not be correcting my child. For example, our neighbor, who we were meeting for the first time out near our mailbox, started telling DS that he was going too far from us/that's dangerous, etc. I was totally comfortable, given all the variables, with how far away DS was from me at that point. In other instances, my brother in law corrects him frequently for any number of things that I don't think he needs to be corrected for and I'm RIGHT there. I have no problem w someone asking him not to do something in their home, to their kids etc. In my house or neutral territory, I feel like it's MY judgement call to make, especially when I'm right there and clearly attending to him.
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  • rssnlvrrssnlvr

    I can't think that it's ever happened...or if it did, it must not have made much of an impression on me. I think I'd probably just smile at my child to let her know that she's not in trouble (she might think that if she's being told something by a stranger) and then quickly engage her in conversation and/or redirect somehow to navigate away from the situation.

    I can't say that it would bother me. I want my kids to know that they have to respect/obey all adults, not just me. 

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  • bluestreetbluestreet

    This is an interesting topic, August.

    My first thought is that folks talk a lot about a "villages raising a child," yet we get possessive about raising our kids according to our exact and often idiosyncratic specifications. I actually love it when people aren't afraid to correct my kids. It makes me feel like we are all comfortable with each other, and that there is a closer sense of community.

    That said, it's harder for everyone to raise everyone's kids when there are so many popular but but disparate forms of child-rearing, free-range vs. helicopter parenting being the extremes.

    In the situations you describe, I think I'd just try to let it roll off my back. The way I see it, our kids are going to encounter lots of different people through their lives and in school, and usually we won't be able to run interference. If it really bothered me, though, I guess I'd just say, "Oh, thanks!  But we're actually working on {climbing/walking without holding hands/crossing the street} right now, and this is his chance to do that."

    /end ramble Smile

     

     

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