Who will be in the birthing room with you?

emmasue18 · December 2011

With DS, I was adamant that it just be DH and I in the room. Last minute though, I kept my mom in there too because she was actually being very supportive and it was a great bonding experience for her and DH (who are not at all close). It worked out great because she was able to do the birth video, which I cherish with all of my heart!

This time I feel pretty flexible about it. DH and I both have one sister and I am thinking about inviting them both. But I told DH I want to wait to make my decision because I could change my mind and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings! Plus, DH has been deployed most of the last year so I think I may want it to be more intimate again. Hmmm...

Has anyone thought about this yet? I can't believe we're getting so close to the end, ladies!!

Shawnee11507 · December 2011

My hospital has a 3 person limit. As of now, I want DH and my BFF and that's it.

jmccall79 · December 2011

I am of the opinion that I want to share this with my family! SO thinks it ridiculous that anyone but me, the doctor, and nurses will be in the room! He DOES NOT plan on being in there because he has a weak stomach and doesn't think he can take seeing me in pain. I've finally gotten over the fact that he won't be in there and just let it go...even though it may still piss me off a little. Otherwise, it will be my mom, at least 2 of my sisters, and SO mom if she wants to be. I'm allowed 5, so the other spaces are open for whoever wants to I guess.

kates9984 · December 2011

Our hospital only allows two others in the room with us so it will be my mom and my husband. The other family members will be in the waiting room.

emmasue18 · December 2011

jmccall79:
I am of the opinion that I want to share this with my family! SO thinks it ridiculous that anyone but me, the doctor, and nurses will be in the room! He DOES NOT plan on being in there because he has a weak stomach and doesn't think he can take seeing me in pain. I've finally gotten over the fact that he won't be in there and just let it go...even though it may still piss me off a little. Otherwise, it will be my mom, at least 2 of my sisters, and SO mom if she wants to be. I'm allowed 5, so the other spaces are open for whoever wants to I guess.

I would keep working on SO. You could (naturally) resent him for not being there and he may look back and regret that decision. I am also allowed 5 in the room. I would keep your 5th stand by open just in case you get him to change his mind. Good luck with everything!! I hope he comes around.

chippy3465 · December 2011

DH and I talked and we both agreed it would just be the 2 of us. We figured it will be the last time that it's just us and the first as our family begins. It also helps bc his parents are a little too involved sometimes like during the birth of my nephew. My FIL couldn't get it through his head why my SIL (DH's brother's wife) didn't want him in there during the birth. My parent's are cool about it and are supportive of the decision cause that's what they did as well.

Jlobebe2012 · December 2011

I have a split opinion on this. I am a FTM, so part of me wants this to be a special experience for my DH and I, that will be intimate and something we can share together, just the two of us. However, another part of me does want my mom in the room also, because she was a L&D nurse for so long, she has lots of experience, and I feel will be very supportive. I don't really want my DH's mom or sisters in the room because I dont want my woman parts all out for a show, and plus they are super conservative, but I dont want to come off as rude and showing favortism torward my mom. So thats why I have not 100% but leaning torwards just being DH and I.

mle5d · December 2011

We decided awhile ago it would be just DH and I (and the medical staff). Anyone else that wants to can come to the hospital, but when I deliver, it will be just our little family. They all know this and seem to be on board.

BlakeG · December 2011

I think just DH but he has a weak stomach so in the event he can't handle it (like if he faints lol) then my mom would step in.

jmccall79 · December 2011

emmasue18:

jmccall79:
I am of the opinion that I want to share this with my family! SO thinks it ridiculous that anyone but me, the doctor, and nurses will be in the room! He DOES NOT plan on being in there because he has a weak stomach and doesn't think he can take seeing me in pain. I've finally gotten over the fact that he won't be in there and just let it go...even though it may still piss me off a little. Otherwise, it will be my mom, at least 2 of my sisters, and SO mom if she wants to be. I'm allowed 5, so the other spaces are open for whoever wants to I guess.

I would keep working on SO. You could (naturally) resent him for not being there and he may look back and regret that decision. I am also allowed 5 in the room. I would keep your 5th stand by open just in case you get him to change his mind. Good luck with everything!! I hope he comes around.

I've stopped trying to push the issue, but yes will definitely keep one spot for him. I think when it comes down to it, and he's actually in the moment, he will stay. He has a 13 yr old daughter, who's birth was a very TRAUMATIC experience for the mother and baby...SO and his mom were actually made to make a decision on "who's life to save!" Turns out both the mother and baby ended up being ok, but it was very very very traumatic for him and that lingers in the back of his mind. We've discussed it, several times, and he's said that if I will just "let things be" it may be easier on him as opposed to forcing him to make a decision he's not sure that he can make right now. Again, I think in the heat of the moment, he will stay.

mkarns · December 2011

I only want DH in the room with me. I'm a FTM but I think of it as being a really intimate moment for us and I want to be able to share it with him and my son forever. Not to mention it's not really party time haha...I'd prefer nobody else see me in that condition.

aglenn · December 2011

I don't want anyone in there other than DH, same as the first time around. (DH was not really all that helpful, either, to be honest; but he should be there anyway). I am just not really into having an audience for this event and I am more comfortable without a lot of onlookers.

JessieJH · December 2011

it's going to be just DH, my midwife and a midwife student. My mom is great, but stresses me out, so I don't want her in there and DH's mom is not going to be in town for the birth. I don't want the distractions of other people anyway.

sparks2987 · December 2011

It will be DH and I only, I dont want anyone else there. I wouldnt mind if my mom is in the room, but she works a crazy schedule and if she cant be there I am okay with that. I DONT want any of my IL's in the room at all, they are always focused on themselves and I cant handle that while in labor.

My sister is also welcome but she has two very small children and noone to watch them if I suddenly go into labor, I understand this and I am okay with it.

I am fine with DH and I only and want the intimate time with just us. not to picky about it now, might change my mind during the actual labor though. I am not worried about telling people to leave if needed.

MeganSony · December 2011

I'm thinking of just me and my husband... but I might always last minute decide I'd like my mom there, I am a sucker for my mom sometimes. The hospital has a two person limit, so it doesn't allow room for a whole group of people. However, MIL has made it very clear that she wants to be in the room and is making a huge deal that I won't let her in. Uhhh... I'm pretty sure even though I'm a FTM all modesty goes out the window in that room and I also don't want her stealing that initial time with the baby.

ryry1977 · December 2011

I only wanted DH in the room last time and that is what we had. We didn't even allow anyone else in the hospital during labor. Turns out both sets of parents visited a little bit though beforehand...which turned out ok. This time we are planning on the same. Hopefully no one at the hospital again, including parents. But at least they didn't come visit until the next day, so we had plenty of bonding time with DS:) If I had anyone else in the room it would be my BFF.

mrsp+3 · December 2011

Thankfully, none of our close friends or family live around here, so I don't have to make that decision (well, that came out wrong... I'm not thankful that they aren't here... just thankful that I don' thave to make the decision).

So, it'll just be me and dh.

When my daughter was born 14 years ago, it was my ex and my mom in the room. I loved having my mom there, but for some reason, I'm looking forward to this time being more intimate.

Lilcountrysmiles · December 2011

Just DH and I

slv0606 · December 2011

The hospital where I am delivering only allows 2 others in the room with me. My husband and I have decided for it to just be the two of us. This best suits what is right for our family. The women in my family are like vultures, very well intended but a little crazy at times. I worry my mother would try to deliver this baby herself, haha! And with that being said I am very close to my MIL and would not want her to feel left out. My mother did ask if she could be in there but thankfully she respects our wishes for delivery to be an intimate moment. Also when I told my husband that my mother inquired about being in the room he seemed a bit dissapointed before he heard my response to her. I love knowing that it is just as important to him that our baby's delivery be personal. Best of luck with your decision, do what is right for your situation and family! Smile

Lola2x · December 2011

My hospital has a 3 person limit. I will only have the medical staff and DH. We do not want anyone else in the room until baby is here, I am cleaned up and we have had a little private time with him together.

aracelyluna · December 2011

I am pretty undecided. I know for sure it will be DH and myself. But I also would like my mom there with. Me I know she wants to be in there as well but she won't say anything because she doesn't want to pressure us one way or the other. But I know my mom. Ever since I was a little she has gone to all my appts. with me. Even in college she went to the doctor with me. I just always brought her with me. And with her, my mother does not speak English very well, so I have gone to pretty much every appointment since I was 10. So it is a very special thing for us. I remember last year it was really hard for us because I moved away and she was diagnosed with cancer and it was really hard not being the one at all the appointments. Even though my dad and sisters took good care of her. It was my moving on point. Now I am rambling...oh boy. Most likely mom and DH. Haven't told her yet. If DH gets really adamant I don't mind MIL there. I do not want to scar my sisters so I am not inviting them in during the birth.

MigenMigen · December 2011

SO (if he's home in time) and my Mom (if she can get here from out of state in time) are the only ones I want in the room with me. SO is supposed to come home from deployment sometime around 38-39 weeks, and Mom plans on coming to stay with me around 39-40 weeks.

Needless to say, I might end up alone with my doctor & nurses, but that's OK too!

Brother and SIL live nearby, but I'm afraid that if I invite SIL to the party, that she'll take over....NOT my ideal for maintaining relaxation.

nickelpickelpink · December 2011

Probably just DH, but I am keeping my options open. I don't want anyone there that isn't there to support me. No observers!

jewerner · December 2011

Right now I just want it to be SO. My mom and I are close, but she can be very.... overbearing. We're very Italian and it shows lol so she can come and go during the hours before but when it comes time to more active labor, I just want it to be SO and I

icajesica82 · December 2011

I'm not sure of what the limit is for my hospital but I'm hoping I can have my mom and DH. My mom will be with me for my classes since DH is stationed in KS. And she will be with me until DH gets there. I think she will be helpful and supportive in the room, I don't mind her being there and think it would be a little mean to have her doing all this stuff to help me out and then as soon as DH gets there say, Ok thanks for all that, now get out.

December192009 · December 2011

DH, nurse, and doc - this is #3 for us. I labor best when I'm not distracted/don't feel like I have to entertain guests. Also, my DH always provides that supportive strength and calm nature that I need

Gem17 · December 2011

Just DH and I.

preggersINschool25 · December 2011

Just DH and I...

I think my mom is hurt. She told me that she would love to watch the baby enter this world... THAT creeped me out.

Meganequine · December 2011

H insisted just him. He doesn't even want to call people to tell them I've gone into labor. (I told him I didn't care if he didn't call his family, but he has to call my parents or I'll call them myself.) Initially I was thinking maybe my mom in there for early labor, but she didn't seem too interested. (Can't blame her-- I'm always a little nasty/crabby towards her when I'm not feeling the greatest).

Also, I don't want visitors for a couple of hours after baby is born. I don't think this will be an issue with anyone, but we havn't "publicly" told our family that yet. Depends on what time baby is born too.

bethanyturon · December 2011

It will be just me and DH. I don't want to risk having others who will add stress to the experience.

MollySm · December 2011

I will have H, and my sister if she makes it in time. Other than that there's no one that I need to have in the room, but if someone else wants to be in the room, I'd probably be okay with it. We'll see as we get closer.

soralette · December 2011

Definitely just DH, doula, and I, plus the medical staff. I don't even want to know about anyone else sitting in the waiting room until we're done and the LO's here and fed and checked over.

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