Lo giving affection to others, a ?

SnowflakeBride06 · December 2011

For some reason it kind of freaks me out when Isabel gives hugs/kisses to friends of mine/acquaintences

Like at D/C she hugs my friend when she picks up her son or gives kisses to people if asked, most of the time.

I am not opposed to Isabel giving affection appropriately but I don't love it when people (not family or close friends) ask her for kisses kind of skeeves me a bit.

I am probably being weird and maybe its a throw back to my upbringing where my mom shunned us from giving hugs etc. to people we didn't know well. And we were triplets and always getting sick so it cut down on germs too.

WDYT?

MamatoA2010 · December 2011

Not being snarky but yeah, you're being a little weird. I love when DD gives people hugs and kisses.

celiabwatson · December 2011

I trust my son to set his own boundaries where this is concerned, and he does. If he feels comfortable with someone to give them a hug or a kiss then he is welcome to, and if he doesn't want to then he shouldn't have to. This means that when grandparents etc ask for kisses and he says no I support him completely and don't force it. He even refuses to kiss me sometimes. I'm ok with that. I'm also ok if he feels comfortable giving someone else a kiss because I know that he's consciously choosing to do so and not doing it because he feels he has to.

celiabwatson · December 2011

Wow, I just noticed you're from Durham, NH. I grew up there my whole life until college. My parents still live there. Cool!!

superned · December 2011

I am not a hugger, so I get what you're saying. It's kind of odd to me when someone other than a close family member or her child care providers ask for a hug. It doesn't bother me if she wants to give them one though; it's just not something I would personally ever do.

DD is going through a very shy phase right now, so she doesn't really want to hug anybody, which is okay with me too.

(She does, however, want to hug a lot of inanimate objects. Yesterday she wanted to hug: a bus, cheese, a jar of pickles, her snowsuit, her piggy bank, a bulb of garlic, and Santa.)

hersheykiss · December 2011

EllaHella:

celiabwatson:
I trust my son to set his own boundaries where this is concerned, and he does. If he feels comfortable with someone to give them a hug or a kiss then he is welcome to, and if he doesn't want to then he shouldn't have to. This means that when grandparents etc ask for kisses and he says no I support him completely and don't force it. He even refuses to kiss me sometimes. I'm ok with that. I'm also ok if he feels comfortable giving someone else a kiss because I know that he's consciously choosing to do so and not doing it because he feels he has to.

I can't put it any better than Celia did.

I ditto this.

SnowflakeBride06 · December 2011

celiabwatson:
Wow, I just noticed you're from Durham, NH. I grew up there my whole life until college. My parents still live there. Cool!!

Awesome! Its a cool town!

Yea, I agree with you, I just wonder if at 14mo she's aware of her actions and not just doing what she is asked.

shakes · December 2011

hersheykiss:
EllaHella:

celiabwatson:
I trust my son to set his own boundaries where this is concerned, and he does. If he feels comfortable with someone to give them a hug or a kiss then he is welcome to, and if he doesn't want to then he shouldn't have to. This means that when grandparents etc ask for kisses and he says no I support him completely and don't force it. He even refuses to kiss me sometimes. I'm ok with that. I'm also ok if he feels comfortable giving someone else a kiss because I know that he's consciously choosing to do so and not doing it because he feels he has to.

I can't put it any better than Celia did.

I ditto this.

+1. It makes me happy that he's naturally affectionate.

SnowflakeBride06 · December 2011

superned:
I am not a hugger, so I get what you're saying. It's kind of odd to me when someone other than a close family member or her child care providers ask for a hug. It doesn't bother me if she wants to give them one though; it's just not something I would personally ever do.
DD is going through a very shy phase right now, so she doesn't really want to hug anybody, which is okay with me too.
(She does, however, want to hug a lot of inanimate objects. Yesterday she wanted to hug: a bus, cheese, a jar of pickles, her snowsuit, her piggy bank, a bulb of garlic, and Santa.)

hahaha hugging cheese and a bulb of garlic made me LOL!

rach10782 · December 2011

It would only bother me if it was a stranger.

pinkiemo · December 2011

G likes to kiss and hug so it doesn't bother me, but I draw the line at strangers (which she would never get close enough anyway) and kissing on the mouth. Cause she'll french you.

JillianGoe · December 2011

I'm not a fan of when she kisses non-family members (since she gives open-mouth kisses on the mouth) but I don't want to teach her not to be affectionate, so I try to teach her to give kisses on the forehead. This started when she tried to give my friends' newborn kids kisses on the mouth (that's what every new mom wants -- a toddler slobbering all over her infant) so it transfered nicely to bigger kids and adults.