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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
wonkatalia
member
"When she's old enough to ask for it, it's time to wean."
wonkatalia
member
Thoughts?
I nurse DD in the mornings and at bedtime (and naptimes when I'm home). We don't nurse to sleep anymore, unless she's completely exhausted. When she seems like she's about to fall asleep, I nudge her away a little bit. She'll either turn her head or look at me and say "More".
My mom says if she's old enough to ask for it, she's too old to be nursing. She also says that I'M the one that needs to be weaned, not DD. This may be true...I don't know...it's just sort of our routine. It works for us and I don't think it's hurting anyone so why should I interrupt it?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: "When she's old enough to ask for it, it's time to wean."
TTC #1- unexplained...lost left ovary 4/07 IUI #1 2/10/09-BFN IUI #2 3/5/09-BFN IVF # 1-BFP
TTC#2- FET 4/7/11 BFP, Natural mc 5/5/11 IVF#2 ER 9/13/11, ET 9/16/11, Beta #1 9/27/11 BFP 254 Beta #2 9/30/11 793 -Twins!
Do what is right for you and your LO.
It's not like she's a teenager.
You can't make a baby or toddler nurse if they don't want to.
Your mom needs to mind her own business, quite frankly. If you're happy nursing and your daughter is happy nursing, it's totally fine.
I nursed DS1 until about 2.5 years, and I weaned when I started to really hate it (I was pregnant with DS2). I'm planning on nursing DS2 until two or when he weans, whichever comes first.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I disagree with your Mom's opinion...I am still nursing and DD will be 22 months tomorrow. Did your Mom BF? The reason I am asking is that my Mom did not, in fact a lot of Moms did not BF when we were born. Formula was much, much more popular then. My Mom mentioned something when my DD was 14 months old about needing to wean her and I explained that there really isn't a reason to wean - unless either of us wanted to do so. It's not like weaning from the bottle and formula - those are used for feeding. At this age, there isn't much nutritional value in BF and they don't do it for food, but more for comfort and closeness. Maybe you need to explain this to your Mom. I think there are a lot of misconceptions about BF and people can be very negative about it because they don't understand. Do what you want to do! Like PP said, it's not like she is 5! In many foreign countries they BF for years!
I quit a while ago. At about 11ish months for both of my girls. I was prepared to go further with both, but they both self weaned and were really good eaters or table food. I went with what worked for us and I feel that is what you should do too. Many older women find it odd that this generation of women nurse their children for much longer. Times change.
Your mom's theory is bs. An infant asks to be fed by making sucking sounds, or sucking on your or someone else's neck/finger/nose/general boob area or crying as pp's have noted.
Whenever I hear this, it makes my blood boil. I seem to get this from people that don't have kids, too.
I'm still nursing at night. LO is 16 months. I want to stop but she loves the boob. I'm not even making milk anymore. She does it just for comfort. It breaks my heart to refuse her when she asks for it in the morning(point to her chest and says, "nur, nur") but I needed to initiate the weaning process because 1) I'm just done and 2) it's really starting to hurt. So, hopefully she'll drop the bedtime session soon.
Any way - I think you need to ignore your mom (and anyone else who judges you) and do what feels right for you and LO. It's not about them. It's a relationship solely between you and LO.
P.S. My SIL told me "when she has teeth, it's time to stop". . . ummmm, okay. LO got her first tooth at around 6 months.
SIL didn't nurse any of her 3 kids so she can shut it. I know she raises an eyebrow when she hears that I'm still nursing LO at night. Whatever.
Good luck to you!
If she were 2 or 3 I might agree but she's only what 15 months or so, I think you have some time before you really need to worry.
And Roll Tide!!
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Nurse them till high school if you're up for it. It's no one's business but your own.
Especially since you are both comfortable with it, I think it would be dumb to stop during cold and flu season.
As far as the asking for it thing, no one knows how to handle BFing and it seems like an easy thing to say. The only time I have seen it as an issue is older kids literally pulling up mom's shirt to NIP. But honestly, I think that is more of a boundary and discipline thing than a nursing thing.
Do what you are comfortable with, not your mom.
I agree, you need to politely ask your mom to shut it.
DD's been asking for it from the day she was born, it's just how she's asks that has changed over the past year and a half.
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18
But seriously, we're still nursing and now she asks for it by sticking her hand down my shirt and trying to pull it off. I'll be glad for the day she can politely use her words. I recently told my pedi to shut it when he said I should start giving DD cow's milk because my milk wasn't enough anymore. Tell your mom the WHO (world health organization) recommends nursing until age 2.
Always Sunny's back b-tches!
My daughter came out asking for it. Whether it's by crying, talking, or signing, she's always been able to ask for it.
We're still nursing, and the only reason I am weaning soon is because I'm pregnant again and I am not interested in tandem nursing a toddler and a newborn. Other than that, we'd keep on going.
Photo courtesy of mrs_b
I would still be nursing at night and in the morning if I wasn't pregnant, I knew I needed time for ds to get adjusted to not nursing before another baby was here. I knew I couldn't tandem nurse.
But.... I can say I told my cousin that her son needed to be weaned when he was almost 2.5 and would scream and yell "I want my booby, give me my booby! you are a mean momma I want my booby!" when he didn't get to nurse when he wanted which was all the time. For me that was a little too much.
You can only be the one to judge what is right for you.
In saying that I stopped at a year so my DS could learn the oral motor control for straws and cups. He is now 20 months and takes all of his milk via regular cup without a lid. I think it is an important skill for him to manage a cup and we all know one skill builds on another. But that was my decision.
Make a pregnancy ticker
See, the bump can offer support!
My mom did breastfeed me. She had three kids, I'm the youngest and she nursed me the longest for about 5 or 6 months. She was completely adamant that I breastfeed when DD was born and always talks down about people that don't breastfeed, yet she has been trying to talk me into weaning since DD was about 3 months old. She nursed my sister for the least amount of time (like 2-3 weeks) and she always blamed that for my sister's allergies and poor health.
Once I got past 6 months, I was determined to make it to a year. At this point, we're still nursing just because it's part of our routine and it works for us. DD won't take milk out of a sippy so I'd rather she nurse than continue taking bottles...besides, I agree that breastmilk is healthier for her than cow milk (even if it's only by a small amount).
That being said, I am getting no support (aside from DH) for extended breastfeeding. I don't know anyone IRL that nursed for this long and people always ask me if I'm still breastfeeding (like it's their business!) and then proceed to tell me I need to wean or "get that baby off the tit". Nice.
It is so frustrating and if it weren't for the bump, I don't know if I would have made it this long!
Thanks y'all! It's sucks but it's nice to hear I'm not the only one that's getting these comments!
Where did you get the idea that a child who is is an extended nurser can't drink from a cup? DS has been able to use a cup (no lid) for several months now.
I nursed until my LO was 19 months old. I'm expecting # 2 and struggled with low supply the first time, so people around me were suggesting I wean in case I struggled again. I didn't want to have to cut LO off "cold turkey"
It was very emotionally painful. Even though he was down to just 1 nursing per day, he really missed it. He asked for a month straight if he could nurse here and there. It broke my heart. I regret weaning him. Do what feels right for you. Those other people, who care, they aren't there to tell your LO no when he's asking for what has provided his comfort from birth and there's no going back once you're done.
Most people I talk to can't believe I'm still bfing yet and ask when I'm going to stop. I plan on weaning soon, but if E freaks out about it then obviously I'm going to continue. I'd also like to make it through cold and flu season.
It irks me when people think it's strange to be bfing this long...
lol, isn't even a newborn asking every time it opens its mouth and closes it? What about an 8 month old who can sign?
Always Sunny's back b-tches!
This, exactly. I wish I could have nursed DS longer. Just ignore other people.
My LO is 16 months and can drink out of a regular cup, but we still nurse twice per day. Nursing is not incompatible with learning those skills!
I'm sure this post is dead, but I had to comment and say this is so true!!
We are basically down to at night before bed now, but she will nurse on my 4 days off before her AM nap. I'm trying to cut that out and by 18 months would like to be done, only because she will be 20 months when the new baby comes and I have no interest in tandem nursing.