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I am completely worthless

DeputiesWifeDeputiesWife
in Infertility Veterans

and I feel like I will be until transfer. 

I am worrying about my embies. of course. Its always something.

then i will be until beta.

I need to focus on something else! 

TTC #2 since June '08

~*DD 10.21.07*~

dx unexplained

IUI #1-4 BFN

IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

IVF#2 Dec 2011

Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

EDD 8/25

*PAIFW/SAIFW*

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Re: I am completely worthless

  • mrsgcalmrsgcal
    I get the same way! Are you done Christmas shopping?
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  • jessican08jessican08 member

    Hang in there DW. I'm sending lots of grow vibes to your embies!

    I like to make lists when I need distraction...maybe a Christmas shopping list or a list of things that need doing around the house...even a grocery list.

    TTC 12/2009
    Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
    IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
    IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
    E & C Born 10/19/2012
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • DeputiesWifeDeputiesWife
    imagejessican08:

    Hang in there DW. I'm sending lots of grow vibes to your embies!

    I like to make lists when I need distraction...maybe a Christmas shopping list or a list of things that need doing around the house...even a grocery list.

    I've done all of that!

    Thanks G -- no -- my shopping isnt done. I am going to day to get a train set for under the tree and some mason jars and then some odds and ends and i am DONE.

    I am anxiously awaiting my doctors office to call.

    How are you ladies today? 

    TTC #2 since June '08

    ~*DD 10.21.07*~

    dx unexplained

    IUI #1-4 BFN

    IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

    IVF#2 Dec 2011

    Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

    EDD 8/25

    *PAIFW/SAIFW*

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  • MontyMrsMontyMrs

    Do you do nails - how about a mani/pedi?  Start a new book?  grab a friend for lunch or dinner?

    The waiting and wondering is this worst!!!  Thinking of you and those little embies 

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  • vanessagorcvanessagorc member

    IF-hurry up and wait...it sucks!!!

    I agree w dinner w friends or movies!

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  • STL34STL34 member
    Hang in there, hon!  Definitely find some way to distract yourself!!

    imageimage


    ~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~ 

    Me= 37 and DH = 41 

    Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)

    IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN

    IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.

    IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132.  Lil is here!

    TTC#2:  Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.

    IVF #4:  BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #5:  MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #6:  (New RE):  Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN

    FET#1:  BFN

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  • DeputiesWifeDeputiesWife
    imageMontyMrs:

    Do you do nails - how about a mani/pedi?  Start a new book?  grab a friend for lunch or dinner?

    The waiting and wondering is this worst!!!  Thinking of you and those little embies 

    I am going to go to the Christmas Tree Sho.p for lunch!  one way to get my mind off it!

    Making plans with my friends around here is like herding cats. Da.mn near impossible...BUT during the 2WW I think I will NEED to something....now if I can get DH home for a night so I can do this!!! =) 

    TTC #2 since June '08

    ~*DD 10.21.07*~

    dx unexplained

    IUI #1-4 BFN

    IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

    IVF#2 Dec 2011

    Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

    EDD 8/25

    *PAIFW/SAIFW*

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  • katt3233katt3233 member
    It's such a mindfvck! Hang in there!
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  • DeputiesWifeDeputiesWife

    imagekatt3233:
    It's such a mindfvck! Hang in there!

    Sure is!

    As V said -- hurry up and wait!

     

    Im really not complaining....Im just anxious! As we all know how that goes.  

    TTC #2 since June '08

    ~*DD 10.21.07*~

    dx unexplained

    IUI #1-4 BFN

    IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

    IVF#2 Dec 2011

    Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

    EDD 8/25

    *PAIFW/SAIFW*

    Report Reply
  • babystinkbreathbabystinkbreath member

    i was always the same way when cycling and even now waiting btw appts.  don't be too hard on yourself though, you will find the will power to focus soon.

    hang in there sweetie!

    ~Lauren~
    **SAIF always welcome.**
    After 2+ years, 3 losses, 3 surgeries, 2 IVFs and 1 FET our little girl is here.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    my read shelf:
    Lauren (babystinkbreath)'s book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Read in 2011: 56/55
    Read in 2012: 31/30
    Read in 2013: 1/25
    Follow Me on Pinterest

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  • Ginger71Ginger71 member
    It's the nature of the beast......LOL! I always think I am coming down with adult onset ADD during cycles but it's just garden variety obsessing Stick out tongue
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  • orange1414orange1414 member
    ((hugs)) It's so all-consuming.
    Trying to grow our family with both fertility treatments and adoption since March 2009 
    IUIs#1-4 = BFN, IVF#1 = c/p, IVF#2 = OHSS, FET#1=BFP
    BabyFruit Ticker
    image
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  • MerryMarisaMerryMarisa
    imageMontyMrs:

    Do you do nails - how about a mani/pedi?  Start a new book?  grab a friend for lunch or dinner?

    The waiting and wondering is this worst!!!  Thinking of you and those little embies 

    Ditto all of this.  Maybe a movie?  Watching some of your fave movies or TV shows?

    TTC #1 w/ endo since Sept 2005. After many losses, a lap, tons of meds and tons of testing and, one failed IVF cycle, we were blown away with a surprise, sticky BFP...it's a girl!!! Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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  • Rachael07.07.07Rachael07.07.07 member

    I feel bad because I'm actually working and not able to chat all day, lol. I'm useless in the opposite way!

    Let's focus on....shopping or vacations.

    DX PCOS w/IR 01/08.
    Currently pg with our 1st after 6.5 yrs of IF (thank you IVF)
     
    My IF/Everything Blog
    There's No Crying in Baseball
    ***My posts are always SAIFW**
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  • Delta04Delta04 member
    I totally feel you DW!  We can try to hang in there together!  
    TTC since 3/07. IVF#1 = canceled. IVF#2 = 0% fertilization. IVF#3 = BFN. IVF#4 = c/p.  
    Moving forward with Adoption 2017!
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  • DeputiesWifeDeputiesWife
    imageRachael07.07.07:

    I feel bad because I'm actually working and not able to chat all day, lol. I'm useless in the opposite way!

    Let's focus on....shopping or vacations.

    Im going to vegas in March.  

    TTC #2 since June '08

    ~*DD 10.21.07*~

    dx unexplained

    IUI #1-4 BFN

    IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

    IVF#2 Dec 2011

    Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

    EDD 8/25

    *PAIFW/SAIFW*

    Report Reply
  • thewormstheworms member

    you can call me or text me to pass the time!

    maybe read some fun books to help the time :)

    image
    Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)

    It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
    MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
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  • MoFreeMoFree member

    I could have written that post, DW.  I am trying to focus on work, on anything else except "what if" and not succeeding.  I don't celebrate Christmas, so no shopping to do and the little bit of Hannukah shopping I do is finished.

    I could focus on all the $$ I would like to spend fixing up our house, making the yard desert eco-friendly, renovating the bathrooms, etc, etc.

    TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

    FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

    FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

    No more frosties

    IVF #2. September 2014

    PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

    SET November 9, 2014
    Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

    Not sure where to go from here.

    image

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • bbakersgirl75bbakersgirl75 member

    Ugh I am so sorry you can't focus on something else.

    Like pp have said... Christmas? Decorating? Holidays??

    I hope you find something to take your mind off your embies (way better said than done I know!)

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  • scooterqscooterq member
    I always am pretty much worthless I entire time I'm cycling!! GL lady!!
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  • SweetDahliaSweetDahlia
    Its so hard! I hope this and the 2WW passes quickly for you. 
    PAIF and SAIF Always Welcome!
    TTC since 2007
    6 IUIs, 3 IVFs, and 2 m/c :< PCOS, Blood Clotting Disorder & MFI
    IVF #2 Aug 2011 is a BFN:<
    IVF #3 March 2012 is a BFN
    Not sure what to do now. Sad and lost.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • DeputiesWifeDeputiesWife

    I would love to decorate -- except the decorations are in the attic - and I am terrified of heights, and I cant get up there myself. And, well, we all know DH's schedule!

    Hopefully this weekend!!!

    Thanks ladies for your support....

    I will do some shopping on my lunch breaks and some wrapping at night, hopefully! 

    TTC #2 since June '08

    ~*DD 10.21.07*~

    dx unexplained

    IUI #1-4 BFN

    IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

    IVF#2 Dec 2011

    Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

    EDD 8/25

    *PAIFW/SAIFW*

    Report Reply
  • Mandy_Lou83Mandy_Lou83 member
    Hoping the time passes quickly for you!
    After 3 years of infertility we were blessed with twin girls through private infant adoption.
    Forever our's October 17th 2012
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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