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Can I please vent?

MommynTeacherMommynTeacher member
in Preemies

I know you ladies are the only ones who will truly understand how pissed I am right now. I have never complained about my family or DH's family online but I think there is a lesson hidden in this story for us all.

Tonight we drove an hour to visit my husband's parents, who I adore. When wre got there we saw that his sister was there with her two boys (5 and 7). This was a suprise the last time we went over too. Last time I asked her to wash her hands and she said she did before she came over...not an ok response! It automatically made me upset that they were there because, as we all know, kids are walking germ bombs and I don't want my daughter around them. She was readmitted last week for a day and I just can NOT deal with her getting sick and ending up back in the hospital. (I know I don't need to explain that here!) So, the boys were not told to stay far away, just not to touch. I piped up and explained the 8 foot rule the home nurese and doctor explained to me- no kids within 8 feet during RSV season.  DH went to pick his aunt up. When he saw his sister's car in the drive she said to DH "I thought the boys had a cold? Why are they here?" DH was shocked and pissed off. His aunt asked his sister if the boys had been sick and she said "I thought they were coming down with something but they are ok," as she was HOLDING THE BABY... W-T-F!!!!!!!! I can NOT believe that FAMILY could be so careless and selfish. I thought everyone was on the same page with what had to be done to keep the baby safe but I guess not. Don't assume...question the hell out of everyone. I would never take chances with the health of her kids.

I just had to get this out.

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Re: Can I please vent?

  • njdcgirlnjdcgirl member
    Ugh. That makes me mad too. I think the "question everyone" technique is a good one, and I'd be sure I had purrell handy to put on people myself before they touched LO! Especially since LO has been readmitted - you would think people would use common sense. I'm sorry you have to deal with it!
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  • sail123sail123 member

    I am generally a very laid back person but I would be livid. Absolutely livid. I'm so sorry. It sounds like your SIL is really inconsiderate.

    Maybe you should just stick to having people at your house for the next couple of months so that you can have a better control over who is around the baby.

    It is so frustrating when, on top of all the stress of having a medically fragile baby, we have to deal with people who don't respect our situations.  

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  • kelly321kelly321 member
    I'm so sorry to hear she was so inconsiderate!! That would make me really angry, too. If it were me, since that was the 2nd time she had clearly ignored rules about keeping the baby safe, I would just tell her that she and her boys will not be seeing the baby for the rest of the RSV season. Period. It's harsh, but you gotta do what you gotta do to keep your kid safe. I know not everyone understands, but you would think the fact that your LO had to be readmitted last week would have driven home how important it is.

    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

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  • MommynTeacherMommynTeacher member

    imagenjdcgirl:
    Ugh. That makes me mad too. I think the "question everyone" technique is a good one, and I'd be sure I had purrell handy to put on people myself before they touched LO! Especially since LO has been readmitted - you would think people would use common sense. I'm sorry you have to deal with it!

    I did the Purell trick, love that! We have a bottle that is just about the size of the baby at home too

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  • MommynTeacherMommynTeacher member
    imagesail123:

    I am generally a very laid back person but I would be livid. Absolutely livid. I'm so sorry. It sounds like your SIL is really inconsiderate.

    Maybe you should just stick to having people at your house for the next couple of months so that you can have a better control over who is around the baby.

    It is so frustrating when, on top of all the stress of having a medically fragile baby, we have to deal with people who don't respect our situations.  

    Exactly! I didn't expect this from family. We decided that we aren't going anywhere...what part of not having the baby around kids they don't understand,I'll never know

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  • haziedazehaziedaze member
    ((HUGS)) That really stinks. I'd be very pissed too! Hopefully the purell did the trick and she'll avoid their germs.
    BFP#1 9/14/10 (EDD 5/21/11); no fetal pole 6w6d, 7w4d, d&c 10/8
    BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
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    BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
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  • urbanflowerpoturbanflowerpot
    Oh dear - this was upsetting to read. I really think people who haven't been there have no way of understanding. They just think - gosh, that must be hard, but until they're sitting bedside there is no way to wrap their brains around it. I agree with the PP's that say only have people to your place during RSV/flu season - new rule, stat ;) You can always blame it on the doctor - but it's really too risky to have those sorts of 'accidents' in your situation.
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