Breakdown... — The Bump
Preemies

Breakdown...

So my daugther was born last week Friday 11/25 at 36 weeks... She has been in the level 2 nursery ever since..She was under the oxygen dome up until last night and then she was breathing room air WOOHOO or so i thought. today she was doing well, got her first bath and were gonna start regular feedings instead of through the nose. well when i went back down to the nursery she was back on jst a tiny bit of oxygen i couldnt stop the tears.. i know she is gonna be fine but it just felt like such a set back.. i have 2 boys at home and its soo hard bouncing back and fourth between hospital and home im starting to get so worn out and its only been a week. I hate this feeling like i have to choose between my boys or my daughter.. thank god the boys understand completely but its still so hard.. my mom has been staying the night with them so i can be here and i feel so guilty shes had to change up her whole life and plans for me.. i guess i just needed to vent to someone who understands.. I just feel like what if there was smething i did or could have done to keep her in longer.. and now with all this stress and me trying to pump i think its really affecting my milk supply.. blah wish  could stop the tears..  
Dominick

Ryan

Ellianna


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Re: Breakdown...

  • I'm sorry ::hugs:: it's really hard to leave your baby at the hospital, isn't it? It sounds like she'll be home soon, though! It won't make the waiting easier but at least she's healthy otherwise :)
  • I'm sure this has been the longest week of your life.  I promise you it does get better and your daughter will not remember that you weren't at the hospital for her 6 am feeding.  Do what you have to at home and let the nurses take care of your daughter when you're not there.  

    Also, cry if you want.  I cried nearly every time I pumped for the first few weeks.  I also had a good cry each day in the shower.  You're tired, you're worried and you're stressed.  The NICU amplifies all of those things.  

    Lastly, there's nothing you could have done to keep her in.  Don't blame yourself.  She was just too excited to meet her family! 

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  • Thanks ladies..
    Dominick

    Ryan

    Ellianna


    [IMG]http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q52/kristihotgurl33/407108_10150546327984615_516339614_9160137_1329465341_n.jpg[/IMG]
  • Big hugs. I know how you feel, although i do not have any other kids other than our little Olly. I was a total mess after he was born, so I understand how you feel. But honestly, people around you that are helping want to help, so try to just think of it that way. It's your mom's choice to be there. And your two kids will understand. It's not about choosing one child over the two, you just had a baby and are trying your best. You are doing great, and I know sometimes you just need to hear it. You're being pulled in a million directions, and you're doing so good. Just try to focus on that, how much you've been through, and if anyone wants to help, let them help for your own sanity. You are doing great and you're an amazing mom! The crying and sadness will go away in time. You'll get through it and everything will be okay. I know it's hard, but it's just temporary. Big hugs to you, and take it one day at a time. It'll get better. 

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  • So sorry you're feeling blue.  I know how it is.  You feel like you failed before you even started.  I had the same exact feeling that if I had only kept her in a bit longer...but like someone here told me - there's nothing we did to make our babies come sooner, if we had mothers all over the world would be doing it when they were tired of the 3rd trimester.  But it's normal to feel that way.  It only means you're a good mom and want to do what's best for your daughter.  I'm sure at 36 weeks and coming off the oxygen your little girl will be home really soon.  Don't forget yourself while you're taking care of everyone else.  I don't know if stress really lowers supply but it can't make your life any easier right now.  Just take it one day at a time.  I tried to not even think about when LO would get out of the NICU because it made too much anticipation. 
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