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February 2012 Moms
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Shower Advice Needed Please

MrsDargaMrsDarga
in February 2012 Moms

Backstory: DH and I live in California, that is where he is stationed for the military. Our families live in 2 different cities about 45 minutes away from eachother in Michigan. DH is was given predeployment leave for the holidays and we will be heading home! He leaves for his delpoyment shortly after the baby is born. I will be moving home so Im not alone with our brand new LO.

Story: MIL, just today, was talking on the phone to DH and offered to throw me a baby shower while we're home! Which is really nice of her!! However, I had a few plans with my mother to have a meet the baby/baby shower once I moved back home. It was basically a 10 minute convo about when and where we would have it and who we would invite. My mother thinks that having a baby shower over the holidays is not a good idea. So she never offered to have one during DHs leave. I never told MIL about these plans I had with my mother because the plans we had were so little.  

This is where I dont know what to do... MIL wants to have the baby shower in the basement of DHs grandmas house. Its not very large. It would fit maybe 10ish people comfortably. The number of people that would be coming from DHs family alone is over 10 people. How are we suppose to fit my friends and family in there too?

What should I do? I feel like it would hurt MILs feelings if I told her no. But I cant have the baby shower I want to have with DH family and mine if she throws me one. And if I dont go along with my mothers plans she will feel like shes left out and didnt do anything. DH sugguested that I have two showers, one now with his family and one after I move with my friends and family. If I have the two showers, do I invite his family to the meet the baby/baby shower? I dont what them to feel left out of the meet the baby part of the day.

What do you ladies think would work best for us? 

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Re: Shower Advice Needed Please

  • kristin172429kristin172429 member
    First - talk to MIL about the plans you talked about with your mom.  Maybe she would think it was a good idea to wait and do it all then.  If not, I say go for the two showers.  I would invite the guests from the first shower to the meet the baby one.  Maybe at the first shower you could mention how it would be happening and you would love it if they could all come meet the baby.  Bringing it up then might make them realize that you don't expect another gift at another shower, but that you want to include them.
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  • louberrypielouberrypie member
    I definitely agree with pp - discuss with MIL, you should enjoy the time with DH's family. Let them know that they are invited to meet the baby, but shouldn't feel obligated beyond hugs and snuggles (cheesy, I know, I can't help it). 
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  • hhartthhartt member
    I think your husband is right and that you should do two.  Maybe just have his family at the one his mom is throwing for you since it will be such close quarters.  Then if your mom throws you the meet the baby party, you can still invite his family if the place will be a bit larger and so they aren't feeling left out.  This way, both moms will get to be the hostess and plan something for you.

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  • SeptemberBride'08SeptemberBride'08 member
    Is there any change the two moms could talk and maybe plan something together?
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  • casoldier03casoldier03

    imagekristin172429:
    First - talk to MIL about the plans you talked about with your mom.  Maybe she would think it was a good idea to wait and do it all then.  If not, I say go for the two showers.  I would invite the guests from the first shower to the meet the baby one.  Maybe at the first shower you could mention how it would be happening and you would love it if they could all come meet the baby.  Bringing it up then might make them realize that you don't expect another gift at another shower, but that you want to include them.

     All of this. Yes

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  • Lena122Lena122 member

    imagekristin172429:
    First - talk to MIL about the plans you talked about with your mom.  Maybe she would think it was a good idea to wait and do it all then.  If not, I say go for the two showers.  I would invite the guests from the first shower to the meet the baby one.  Maybe at the first shower you could mention how it would be happening and you would love it if they could all come meet the baby.  Bringing it up then might make them realize that you don't expect another gift at another shower, but that you want to include them.

    This exactly.

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  • MrsDargaMrsDarga

    Thanks everyone! I talked to DH about it more and I think having two showers will be best. That way both moms can be incharge of a day. They dont have a problem getting along but I just dont want one to feel like their idea wasnt as good as the others if we were to have just one. They are both kinda sensitive.

    We're going to talk to our parents about everything tomorrow! I hope that the moms dont feel hurt for any reason. I just want everyone to be happy!

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  • jennlinjennlin member
    have both. a small baby shower with h's family...then a larger meet the baby shower party with everyone.


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