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Childless not by choice
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I am just curious

Proud adoptive mom 6.11.09Proud adoptive mom 6.11.09
in Childless not by choice
You ladies are CFNBT does this mean you as well have chose not to adopt?
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Re: I am just curious

  • MandyBrownNoserMandyBrownNoser member
    Yes and before you get on your sanctimonious high horse about it as so many before have done- it doesn't always work out and it isn't in the best interest for everyone so thanks.
    Fuuck TTC - I'm moving on.
    imageimageimageimage
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    "It's a child, not a cheeto" Thanks mmariluh!
    "Ew. I've read all of two posts from you, and you stink like rotting garbage."
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  • irishfrenchgirlirishfrenchgirl
    Seriously???  I am not trying to be the bitchy one here but WHY would someone post here if you are not CFNBC?  I REALLY don't understand it.  I feel like every week there is a posting from someone who is asking us all kinds of questions like we are part of a museum or a zoo! "ooooh, lets go to the CFNBC room and see what they are like. I've never seen one of those before!!!"  We are not here because we WANT to be.  Don't you think we would have explored EVERY option that we physically and financially can before tagging ourselves CFNBC?  Please think about the questions you are asking on a board like this one before posting them.  Whether you are trying to be curious or not, the question you asked is offensive and upsetting. Questions like this make us feel as if we are being judged or that others assume we are not intelligent enough to think of adoption in the first place.  We are women who are grieving the loss of a future we will never have. It is a safe zone...not a freak show.  We are just like you only are not as fortunate to have the desired outcome, either by nature or destiny. Please refrain from asking us "questions".  We are not here to make YOU feel better or help YOU understand our situation.  We have a hard enough time understanding it ourselves.
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  • dlytergirldlytergirl member
    As someonewho is still TTC for almost 2 years.  Adoption and IVF are extremely costly and time consuming. Not to mention an emotional rollercoaster ride. My husband and I are at a cross road right now about IVF, adoption, or giving up. Not everyone can adopt. Just because they choose not to doesn't make them a bad person or a selfish person. Your question hurts a lot of people, myself included. I hope this wasn't your intention.
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  • DKC1308DKC1308

    imageProud adoptive mom 6.11.09:
    You ladies are CFNBT does this mean you as well have chose not to adopt?

    I didn't choose not too. I have only been told that with my given medical history it is highly unlikely that we would be approved.

    Every person still has what they feel would be best for them. I know it is difficult to understand why we would still have our, for lack of a better word, preferences. But as someone who, I assume, has adopted you can appreciate it and know that it may simply not be for everyone regardless of the desire for children.

      In regards to us adopting, we felt IA would be the best fit for us. Sadly, with my cancer that isn't possible. Could we still possibly do a DA? Possibly but it is, again, not all likely. We have done the background work and it just does not feel like the best fit for us. 

    After going through infertility, or in my case a long fight with cancer, you learn what you can handle emotionally and what would simply be too much. I've accepted that there is no chance of us having our own baby. However, I can not go through a failed adoption. Many things, I feel, have already been taken from us. 

     

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  • Proud adoptive mom 6.11.09Proud adoptive mom 6.11.09

    imagedlytergirl:
    As someonewho is still TTC for almost 2 years.  Adoption and IVF are extremely costly and time consuming. Not to mention an emotional rollercoaster ride. My husband and I are at a cross road right now about IVF, adoption, or giving up. Not everyone can adopt. Just because they choose not to doesn't make them a bad person or a selfish person. Your question hurts a lot of people, myself included. I hope this wasn't your intention.

     

    NO!!! my intentions were not to hurt anyone I am just very curious. I myself have been TTC for 3+ years with 2 failed IVF.We adopted a teenager a few years ago in unlikely circumstances and now we have to decide if adopting again is an option or nor

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