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August 2011 Moms
I still can't seem get things together
Ok, I'm not on here much anymore because of the oh so busy busy life of being a mommy. 
So for those of you who don't know, I lost my job two weeks after lo was born. I have a new job now...and had to come back from maternity leave 7 weeks early which was devistating to me.
Ok, my problem is that I can't seem to get things together. I dread going into work. I absolutely hate my new job. I cry every morning when I drop my son off at grandmas...I don't get home until 7 most nights, and by the time I make dinner, take care of the dogs and clean up a bit, it's nearly 8 and my son is soooo sleepy he doesn't want to play, he just wants to sleep. I feel like I don't get any quality time with my baby. When I drop him off/pick him up from his grandma's he stares at her the whole time... sometimes he will even scream and get fussy if I take him out of her arms.
How do you working ladies get quality time with your lo's? And how do I make this seperation anexity go away? I feel like I am going to seriously lose it sometimes mid day at work because all I want is to see my son... I am an emotional wreck most days...people at work probably think I'm crazy bc I'm always crying. I just can't seem to get it together. It gets HARDER everyday.
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Re: I still can't seem get things together
How many pictures of LO do you have at your desk? Do you have space to make a shrine, and as things get better you can minimize it?
I'm so sorry you're going through this!! Hang in there, it can only get better!!
Thank ladies. I know there is nothing magical anyone can say...just felt better getting it off of my chest.
I like the shrine idea! I do have a huge picture of him on my computer and I can constantly looking at the pictures of him on my phone.
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That's so tough!
I agree with PPs who said to let the housework go a little. Focus on your LO. Even if he's sleepy, you can spend time cuddling.
What is your schedule like? Do you get weekends off? Would you be able to set aside one day a week to be all about family time? No chores, just quality time. You might get behind in housework, but that's not the end of the world.
Hang in there!!! And keep reminding yourself that you're a good mom who's doing what she needs to for her family.
Well first things first...do you have a flexible work schedule? My husband and I split drop off/pick up. By doing this I go in to work first at 6 am but get to pick our LO up by 3:45. It's great b/c I get over 3 hours with him before bed time. We also get every other Friday off due to working 9 hour days so it is nice to have a 3 day weekend with the little guy every other week.
For dinner during the week we eat a combination of leftovers, homemade freezer meals, quick prep (under 30 min type of things) and crock pot meals prepped the night before so dinner takes minimal time to get ready. We save chores and time intensive dinners for our off Fridays and weekends. We try take advantage of the time after LO is in bed to do some things as well.
I've also been in the situation in the past where I didn't like my work environment. The best thing to do is just start looking for a new job immediately so that way you at least know that you are doing all you can to help your situation and hopefully you'll be out of there before you know it!
I try to spend time with LO right when I get home. The babysitter feeds him before he gets picked up by SO they get home around 330. He has Daddy time then puts him down for a nap. When I get home if he is still napping I run to get everything I can done. If he is up I play with him. I have learned my house is not going to be super clean, my dishes are not always going to be washed but I def have learned to make time for LO first. I also try to get as much stuff done on the weekend that I can.
My sitter sends me pics during the day of LO and we txt back and forth (not sure Gma is up on pics and txts but it seems to help). I also have TONS of pics of him at my desk. I still miss him like crazy most days, but I know I have to work to give him what he needs. Are you close enough you could go visit at lunch or have them come have lunch with you a day or a two a week?
Hugs and good luck I hope things get better soon. If you need to talk message me. I am not going to lie I am super jealous of the SAHM.
THIS. I was a trainwreck my 1st week back to work; I only had 6 weeks of maternity leave due to me having to go on bedrest 6 weeks before he was born after getting into a car accident, and using half of my leave for that. I still have days where I just want nothing more than to be at home with DS, and I will have a cry here and there; but I've been back to work for almost 3 months now, and it has gotten easier. I pick up DS around 6pm after fighting an hour of rush hour traffic to get to him; he doesnt go to bed til after 9pm, so I just spend all that time with him, and once he's asleep, I take care of feeding myself and any little chores I can do. (DH works evenings, so I'm home alone after I get off of work, til midnight).
If I wasnt the breadwinner in my house, I totally would quit my job in a heartbeat to SAH w/DS; but it's just not feasible right now so I have to constantly remind myself that I'm doing what's best for our family...and looking for a different job with more flexible hours and higher pay so that I can spend most of my work day while DS is asleep/doing most of his napping in the morning, and I can be home before DH has to go to work so we dont have to worry about daycare. So far, thinking about the possibility of that really helps get me through the day. So does taking it one day at a time. I hope it gets easier for you. ((HUGS))