Preemies
Breakdown...
So my daugther was born last week Friday 11/25 at 36 weeks... She has been in the level 2 nursery ever since..She was under the oxygen dome up until last night and then she was breathing room air WOOHOO or so i thought. today she was doing well, got her first bath and were gonna start regular feedings instead of through the nose. well when i went back down to the nursery she was back on jst a tiny bit of oxygen i couldnt stop the tears.. i know she is gonna be fine but it just felt like such a set back.. i have 2 boys at home and its soo hard bouncing back and fourth between hospital and home im starting to get so worn out and its only been a week. I hate this feeling like i have to choose between my boys or my daughter.. thank god the boys understand completely but its still so hard.. my mom has been staying the night with them so i can be here and i feel so guilty shes had to change up her whole life and plans for me.. i guess i just needed to vent to someone who understands.. I just feel like what if there was smething i did or could have done to keep her in longer.. and now with all this stress and me trying to pump i think its really affecting my milk supply.. blah wish could stop the tears..
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Re: Breakdown...
I'm sure this has been the longest week of your life. I promise you it does get better and your daughter will not remember that you weren't at the hospital for her 6 am feeding. Do what you have to at home and let the nurses take care of your daughter when you're not there.
Also, cry if you want. I cried nearly every time I pumped for the first few weeks. I also had a good cry each day in the shower. You're tired, you're worried and you're stressed. The NICU amplifies all of those things.
Lastly, there's nothing you could have done to keep her in. Don't blame yourself. She was just too excited to meet her family!
Big hugs. I know how you feel, although i do not have any other kids other than our little Olly. I was a total mess after he was born, so I understand how you feel. But honestly, people around you that are helping want to help, so try to just think of it that way. It's your mom's choice to be there. And your two kids will understand. It's not about choosing one child over the two, you just had a baby and are trying your best. You are doing great, and I know sometimes you just need to hear it. You're being pulled in a million directions, and you're doing so good. Just try to focus on that, how much you've been through, and if anyone wants to help, let them help for your own sanity. You are doing great and you're an amazing mom! The crying and sadness will go away in time. You'll get through it and everything will be okay. I know it's hard, but it's just temporary. Big hugs to you, and take it one day at a time. It'll get better.