If all else fails, I'd go to Goodwill, buy the yuckiest sweater I could find and then bedazzle the crap out of it with all sorts of ridiculous things found at the Dollar Store or something. You could even rig up your own light show on a sweater, I'll bet.
I second Goodwill. I have a puffy paint long sleeve t-shirt with glittery snowmen if you want to borrow it. I even have matching snowmen earrings, but I'm not sure where they are. Let me know and I can scrounge around if you are interested.
Re: Anyone have an ugly/tacky holiday sweater?