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Austin Babies
WWYD - giving baby advice
Since resigning from teaching, I've accepted a select few friend requests on FB of former students. One girl in particular had a baby (at 16 years old) two months ago. I've been following her posts / sending her notes of encouragement when I can, and she always responds positively. A couple of days ago, she posted two pictures - one giving her 2 month old daughter a bottle of juice and another giving her rice cereal. All along I've felt like perhaps she doesn't have anyone around helping her make decisions like this kind of stuff (lives with dad and boyfriend), but haven't wanted to intrude. She's also kind of low, and I think she probably isn't seeking out advice / information. It would be very like her to just decide to start solids without checking when to do so, or checking normal physical developmental milestones. At my own DD's pedi appointment yesterday, I asked if a pedi would ever advise doing rice cereal or juice that young, and she said she couldn't think of a reason to. I thought about sending a very positive note and giving her a few websites that I find helpful.... but I don't know. I don't want her (or her mom) to think I'm being pushy bossy. What would you do?
The point of me sending her a message wouldn't be to fuss at her - more to
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Re: WWYD - giving baby advice
I actually knew a girl whose pedi advised to start cereal in the bottle at 4 weeks to help with some problems they were having.
It's so hard to give advice without coming across as preachy. I had a friend who posted a pic of her 3ish-month-old sleeping in the pnp with seven blankets in it with her (I counted), one of which was rolled up and keeping the paci in while the baby slept. I was horrified, but didn't say anything b/c I couldn't figure out how.
Do it. I would totally use the opportunity to teach her some things. From what I know, you're a tactful and polite person so I'm sure you would do it in a nice way. Who knows if she has anyone to help her. Plus, if she friended you on FB she obviously cares about you so she might be willing to listen.
Not to change the subject but how's everything going since you moved?
I think the good thing is that you are her former teacher, so she already looks to you as a person to give advice/teach her things. I would make up a story, like, "I wanted to give my baby juice when she was 2 months old, but I asked my pedi and she said no way!" or something like that.
It is hard. At Thanksgiving dinner, my SIL had her 2 month old baby in a car seat on top of the kitchen counter, not strapped in, while we ate. I asked if he was strapped in and her husband said no and made a joke about him jumping out, and continued to eat. I wouldn't let it go. I was sitting way down at the other end and asked again, "IS THE BABY STRAPPED IN??" Everyone stopped eating and finally my DH said, "Guys, could you strap the baby in and take it off of the counter? LL isn't going to be able to eat until you do." So, they did. I tried to make a joke of it by saying I was overly cautious because DD fell out of her car seat from the counter at 4 months, but I wasn't about to let them do it for one more second.
All that to say, if you feel strongly about it, sometimes you gotta be the b!tch.
I would reach out to her and see how she's doing. . . and maybe casually mention how you've found certain books and or websites (with baby milestones) helpful. Kind of like a consolidated list of resources. I'm not sure if you're in the same area and/or if she's low income, but I would probably even offer to let her "have" a copy of the book if she was interested (even if it means buying the book for her or something).