She only wants dinner at bedtime
DD is 19 months. We did BLW with her, and have always eaten dinner as a family. The last month or maybe two months, she's been more interested in playing with her dinner than eating it. (Dinner time is about 6/6:30.) Then, around 7:45/8 (basically, bedtime), she starts frantically signing that she wants to eat. We pull her dinner out of the fridge and she usually eats it then really well.
It's not a big deal to feed her late, because that's apparently when she's hungry, but I do NOT want "dinner right before bed" to become a habit. I'm about to have a newborn, and fixing DD's dinner twice is not something I want to have going. Plus, it causes problems when we do go out to eat, because all she wants to do is run around the restaurant and then eat when we get home. But is she too young to be "sent to bed without dinner"? (Which is how my parents would have handled this.)
What would you do in this situation?
Re: She only wants dinner at bedtime
I personally believe that she is too young to be sent to bed without dinner, although my parents would have done that to me just like yours. With Blu, if he wants dinner right before bed, i give him veggies first (which he does not like, of course), plain milk (he prefers strawberry flavored), and he gets no dessert as opposed to if he ate with the family.
I am not mean to him, and he does still get fed well, but it is not what he would want to eat, KWIM. Then i remind him that if he eats with us he can have a regular dinner, and then he usually eats at dinnertime for a few weeks or so after that. Short term solution for us.
I recommend looking into information from Ellyn Satter, there's a website ellynsatter.com and she has several books. She's a dietitian that has done a lot of research into child feeding and many pediatric dietitians use her info as a resource. One of her key points is the division of responsibility- the parent decides when food is given (which should be predictable 3 meals, 2-3 snacks per day), where it's being given, and what food is offered. The child only decides how much and if s/he is going to eat of what you offer at the time you offer it. (this doesn't apply to the BF/FF fed baby, which should be fed on demand).
If she doesn't eat at dinner time, then she waits until the next regular meal or snack is offered. You could offer a small, healthy bedtime snack on a regular basis but it shouldn't take the place of family dinner time. If you are consistent, she should begin to eat more when you offer meals.
DS has been doing this for about the last month. He just plays with his dinner, and then after his bath starts signing that he wants to eat, exactly like your LO.
We haven't been offering a full dinner when he does this, we just give him a snack large enough to keep him from waking hungry during the night. I'm really hoping it's just a phase (isn't everything with toddlers?) and he will regain interest in dinner soon.
My daughter is 2.5 and has done this every once in a while in the past six months or so. I think it's ultimately a plow to stay up...but we do give her a healthy snack and milk if she persists. I don't want her to get into the habit of eating right before bedtime either, but I also don't want her to go to bed hungry. I'm just trying to stay consistent with offering/serving dinner and other meals throughout the day. I'd say play it by ear... If she truly seems hungry feed her. Another thing I've done before to test her is offer her something I know she wont always eat and if she eats it I know she is hungry.