schoolyard rumor WWYD? long
Our oldest has a "girlfriend" as of a few weeks ago. This is entirely new to us. Over the weekend, I had a small chat with her mother on the phone, since the gf's mom was getting concerned about how often they are texting and calling, and that they're saying "I love you."
It was a good talk. One thing that came out was that the gf was using her friend's phone a lot to contact him, since she doesn't have her own. This friend, a middle school girl, 13, has now been texting and calling my son. A LOT. We've told him not to respond, but it's been several days since he's responded to a text, and she's still trying several times a day.
I was on the playground afterschool with our son and some girls from his grade. They were all playing, and SS's phone went off. He had asked me to hold it, so when it rang he asked me to check. It was the middle school girl again.
We mentioned her name, and it set off a big vent by the girls in his class about how strange she is. Two of the girls there live on her street and have been to her house. One of the girls mentioned that one time she was there, the middle school girl was skyping with an older guy. They said 21, and that he was a teacher, and that she saw them saying "I love you" to each other and chatting about when they could skype next.
So, would you do anything? I don't know the middle school girl or her family at all. We're new to the area this year. I only know SS's gf's mom through that one phone call. If I were her, I'd want someone to give me a head's up if my daughter was spending time with a girl who's chatting online with an older guy, BUT, it is also info that came from the mouths of fifth grade girls who don't like the girl, so I'm not sure at all how true it is.
Re: schoolyard rumor WWYD? long
I would be trying to contact the weird girl's parents and letting THEM know....
by telling your ss's gf's mom, you are generating the rumor....just is weird.
I do know the girl's first and last name, and I have HER cell phone number. I just thought telling the gf's parents made more sense, since they obviously know the weird girl's parents, but I see your point. They may not want to have to be the ones to say anything since they didn't directly hear what was said.
I also wondered about giving a tip to the police? Idk what would happen with info like that. I wish I had a name of the school where this guy supposedly teaches.
ETA: When talking to the mom, she mentioned that her daughter, SS's gf, spent the night at this girl's house but that her dad gave permission. The mom sounded like she wasn't very happy with it.
First, I would block that number from his phone.
I would then contact the other girl's parents and just say something like, "I wanted to let you know that your daughter keeps calling and texting my son, even after he has repeatedly asked her to stop and has been ignoring her calls. I am not comfortable with this, and we will have her number blocked from his phone, but I wanted to let you know what was going on, as I do not feel it is appropriate behavior for a 13 year old."
Then, you might have a discussion with the gf's parents that you have blocked the phone number, so the gf will not be allowed to contact your son that way. I'm sure that will bring up some questions. I wouldn't repeat gossip that you heard from the other kids, only the facts that this girl would not leave your son alone.
Christmas 2011
Yeah, he was in third grade when he told me all his friends had Blackberries and wanted one. He didn't get free reign until this summer, and now he gets about 30 texts a day from his school friends.
We check his messages and keep track of who/what he's texting. This girl wasn't inappropriate, just relentless, and against our rule of talking/texting people he doesn't know, since he's never met her and she only got his number from the girl in his class.
It's definitely a new world out there. Kids are in constant contact with each other. I would say that it would be pretty "normal" for this to occur at this age.
Goofyteacher, any advice? DH suggested talking to someone at the middle school first.
Actually talking to someone at the middle school might be a great idea. Maybe the guidance counselor? They would be able to decide if the information is credible enough to take further action.
ETA: They may also have more insight on these girls that reported this to you as well.
Thanks. I think I'll try this. My mom also suggested going to the girl's parents, but I think she doesn't really get much if any attention at home, just judging from how desperate she seems for attention from anyone else, so her parents may be a dead end. As you said, someone at the middle school should know this girl. They won't know the girls I talked with, though, since they're also fifth graders (they're neighbors of the girl).