I have posted several times about deer hunting and this is a story about that. If this bothers you, you should probably stop reading.
I had been deer hunting last year and this year with no success. I had spent at least 40 hours sitting still and quiet in a deer stand or blind only to freeze my toes. I was starting to lose hope. Two weekends ago, the last hours of hunting for me for the season, I had an epiphany. It was 20 minutes before the end of the season for me and I was siitting in a blind with my Dad. He looked at me and wispered, "Well, kid, I don't think we're going to see anything." I wispered back,"Story of my life. It seems like I've had to wait for everything that really means a lot to me. Maybe God is trying to teach me patience."
I sat back in my chair and thought about this for a few minutes. I had to wait for DH, I had to wait for DD, I'v been waiting for LO #2, I had to wait for several other smaller things that I wanted, as well. Could this be my life lesson? What if everyone has a life lesson? After a few minutes of these thoughts, 2 deer came out of the woods and started walking towards us. My heart started beating so hard I thought it would explode.
In the end, oddly enough, I ended up stopping both deer in their tracks.(It was too dark for my Dad to see) It was one of the best experiences of my life and I got to share it with my Dad. I know it was God telling me that I was right and that as soon as I released my tight grasp on this dream, it will come true. And maybe even better than I could ever imagine. Any time I feel myself thinking about TTC, I think about that day, my thoughts, my Dad's beaming face, and the instant calm that came over my 2IF mind. It was really a spiritual awakening and I now feel like I can officially throw up my hands and realize that I don't have ANY control over this aspect of my life.
This doesn't mean, of course, that we will not be seeking treatment. It does mean that my mindset is going to be much more relaxed and at ease. I feel so good. God is good.