Don't call me mom

mamabrof · November 2011

This article is interesting. I love being a mom, and the label doesn't bother me. The only time I think it has kind of hindered me is in the workplace. People assume that I can't handle certain things or work certain hours because I have a LO. That pisses me off.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/11/28/don-t-call-me-a-mom-why-it-s-time-for-women-to-drop-that-identity.html

meltoine · November 2011

I often think about this when I read newspaper headlines like, "New York Mom Charged With Drunk Driving". You'll notice that the headlines never read, "New York Dad...", but rather "New York Man...". Women, on the other hand, regardless of their career, are almost universally referred to as moms in those stories. That bothers me.

daisygirl2010 · November 2011

meltoine:
I often think about this when I read newspaper headlines like, "New York Mom Charged With Drunk Driving". You'll notice that the headlines never read, "New York Dad...", but rather "New York Man...". Women, on the other hand, regardless of their career, are almost universally referred to as moms in those stories. That bothers me.

Good point!

But just wanted to say i LOVE your sig pic!

PeonyPumps · November 2011

This article really bothers me. This is my personal opinion, and no one has to like it or agree with it, but I think the label of Mom is the most important one I can have, and I am privileged to be called that. That role, that title, it supersedes anything and everything else that I am, and for me in my life, that is how it should be. I have a master's degree (Tits- where are you on this one?

), several great jobs, an awesome husband, and have done a lot of great things in my life, but nothing I could ever do will be greater than creating my child/children. People like this make me upset because there are thousands of women out there who cannot or have a hard time having children, and this woman doesn't want people to 'think less of her' because she is 'just a mom.' And maybe that's not even what the person who said that to her meant, maybe the term 'Mom' or 'Mother' was a high word of praise from them and she didn't realize it because she was so clouded in her own disdain of the word? :rant:

IncogNeato · November 2011

I think this woman has some issues and took it way too personally. Honestly, most of the time people classify me as a "teacher" which I'm more likely to be aggravated by than being classified as a mom. When someone says, "Oh, you're such a teacher!" I picture holiday sweaters, overly chipper annoying smiles, and "teacher talk" ie talking to grown ups like they're children, etc. Being a mom is much more a part of my identity now than my job is. My job is just one part of my life, one part of my day. I'm always a mom, no matter what I'm doing or where I am.

MarSamWhitney · November 2011

daisygirl2010:

meltoine:
I often think about this when I read newspaper headlines like, "New York Mom Charged With Drunk Driving". You'll notice that the headlines never read, "New York Dad...", but rather "New York Man...". Women, on the other hand, regardless of their career, are almost universally referred to as moms in those stories. That bothers me.

Good point!

But just wanted to say i LOVE your sig pic!

me too!! ive got to try to get a pic like this!!

mamabrof · November 2011

PeonyPumps:
This article really bothers me. This is my personal opinion, and no one has to like it or agree with it, but I think the label of Mom is the most important one I can have, and I am privileged to be called that. That role, that title, it supersedes anything and everything else that I am, and for me in my life, that is how it should be. I have a master's degree (Tits- where are you on this one? ), several great jobs, an awesome husband, and have done a lot of great things in my life, but nothing I could ever do will be greater than creating my child/children. People like this make me upset because there are thousands of women out there who cannot or have a hard time having children, and this woman doesn't want people to 'think less of her' because she is 'just a mom.' And maybe that's not even what the person who said that to her meant, maybe the term 'Mom' or 'Mother' was a high word of praise from them and she didn't realize it because she was so clouded in her own disdain of the word?

That's exactly how I feel.

RayRay007 · November 2011

I'm too lazy to read the article so this may be off point, but I am still getting used to being called mom. We just ordered new stockings for the whole family and I had mine monogramed with "Mom" and I think of my mother when I see it.

NewFamily09 · November 2011

Wow, she needs to get over herself if something like that is going to bother her enough for her to write an article about it.

Doodle2011 · November 2011

I think she's having an indentity crisis. So you are a writer, great! And you ride bikes, great! Society doesn't care enough about you to create a big long label for you, so you get "mom", and that's ok. Those closest to you know you are a writer/biker/mom/woman of many layers and interests. Calm down.

OctGirl80 · November 2011

I think a lot of people nowadays are far too hung up on titles. This makes me think of all those people who insist on special names instead of Grandma. Guess what? Being called Sissy Spacek won't change the fact that your child had a child and you are now a grandmother. It doesn't mean you are "old". And since when did that hold so much stigma? People need to get over it.

Honestly, titles change so often through life, I don't understand why people put so much stock in them. Right now, I'm a daughter, wife, mother, sister, homeowner, photographer, business owner, licensed massage therapist, stay at home mom and more. I've held countless other titles before and I'm sure I'll have more down the road, but I don't consider any of them to define who I am because any of those could change in an instant but I'm still me.

pitterpatter129 · November 2011

(quote from article) "I?m sure there are women who would have embraced the image?frumpy hairdo, mom jeans, under-eye bags and all?as if they had been handed the cuddliest of crib toys."

This is me she's talking about. I'm fine with only being remembered as a good mom. I'm fine with someone identifying me as a mom first. The other things don't matter to me as much anymore.

Doodle2011 · December 2011

totally agree with you, Octgirl and Pitterpat!

Jessys_Girl · December 2011

This article offended me. She says:

"I?m sure there are women who would have embraced the image?frumpy hairdo, mom jeans, under-eye bags and all?as if they had been handed the cuddliest of crib toys. Me, I felt gut-punched. Hot steam shot into my cheeks. I was not only angry, but embarrassed."

But to me, being labelled as "mom" doesn't mean you are frumpy, wearing mom jeans, have under eye bags, etc. That's a very negative and disdainful view of motherhood. To me "Mom" is a badge i wear with honor. I am the 100% most important person in my kid's life...and that feels pretty darn awesome!

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