my very own MIL vent
countrygrl5533
member
So MIL sends out a letter in her Christmas card every year. As do I. She always includes info about both her sons and their wife or girlfriend.
DH and I always end up with way more info than her other son. Lots of details. It bothers me as it is my life to share.
This year, even worse than normal. Whole inch and a half at 12 pt font, single spaced about everything that DH and I did this year. Everything in it is my entire letter basically.
I really feel like this is a boundary. She can share some as it is her son and all but really, just check with me first. I don't need everyone knowing about my job and how I'm doing with it unless I decide that is okay.
I'm sure I'm a bit over sensitive about this but it really bugs me. What really gets me is DH thinks it isn't a big deal so he wouldn't let him talk to his mom about it last year. Now it is worse this year.
Married: 1/2008 ~ DD#1: 3/2012
TTC #2: Started 4/2014 BFP 7/30/15 MC 8/3/15 BFP 9/4/2015 EDD 5/16/2016
Re: my very own MIL vent
That is weird. Weird that its so much about you and weird that its not as much about the other actual SONS.
My family doesn't do Christmas cards/letters really, but DH's does. his grandma always puts in a TON about him, but the focus is odd. She doesn't like that we aren't the same religion and I feel like there's always a little jab about it in there, but DH just sees it as him being the favorite grandchild or something, so I try to just let it go.
I don't think you are being over sensitive at all. Your MIL doing that is strange. Especially with personal information about your job and such! That is just bizarre. I would have to sit down and have a talk with her about that if it were me. I suppose if your husband grew up with this tradition he probably does not think it is odd at all but it sounds odd to me.
It sounds like maybe she has not realized that her son is now a grown adult and it is kind of inappropriate to be sending out letters detailing his "milestones" for him.
Sorry I don't have any good advice to give you other than, "MIL, I really enjoy talking with you but I feel like everything I say is going to end up broadcast in a letter to the entire friends and family group. It makes me want to hold back and I don't like that!"
Talked to DH about it. He agrees that is it a bit much now and if it makes me uncomfortable, to talk to her about it. I am going to wait until after Christmas so that the conversation doesn't cause any issues over the holiday. Too late to change it this year anyway. All the cards are already out.
I also think I am going to go with the idea someone suggested of having her send me the paragraph she is writing about DH and me (and the baby) before she prints it. Then I can make adjustments to protect my own privacy and what I want to share myself. Then if she still ends up doing it, politely but firmly saying that we no longer want to be included in her letter at all.
Have come to the conclusion that ever issue I have ever had or do have with my MIL comes right down to boundaries. For someone who teaches high school, she sure is bad at boundaries with the rest of us. She even told a bunch of people I was pregnant after I very specifically told her not to.
Married: 1/2008 ~ DD#1: 3/2012
TTC #2: Started 4/2014 BFP 7/30/15 MC 8/3/15 BFP 9/4/2015 EDD 5/16/2016