Co Sleeping Mommy Needs HELP!

+Mommy2Be+ · November 2011

Hello all,

I have only posted on this particular board once or twice but have read many of the posts on various topics here and find them helpful. DH and I are very much into the attachment parenting lifestyle- cloth diapering, baby wearing, co sleeping, breastfeeding on cue etc. and have been since my 7 month old was born. Since day one we have been bed sharing and loving it however, LO wakes at least 5-6 times per night and it is really starting to take a toll on me. I am physically and mentally exhausted. We recently moved LO's crib into our room next to my side of the bed- hoping she might sleep longer stretches in her crib. The first night was good but every night thereafter has been back to the same thing: typically a three hour stretch at the most from bed time at 7pm until about 10pm, then up about every hour to 1.5 hours after that. I've read most of Pantley's book "No Cry Sleep Solution" and found some helpful advice in other regards but am feeling desperate for longer stretches of sleep and I am not having success with that. My concern is that the only solution may be to stop co sleeping. Before I jump to that, I would like to hear responses from others that have been in my situation and what worked for you. I am wondering if I were to move her crib to the other side of my bedroom instead of right next to my side of the bed, if that might help? I hope this all makes sense as I am typing this in a state of borderline delirium :-/

SandiaPinaMama · November 2011

Check out Solidio's post above for what I did with my LO when he was just over 7 months to get some more sleep.

Also, I wanted to add that the Sleep Lady Shuffle site has a lot of useful info, although I didn't follow her method. I was glad I checked it out.

For us, LO goes down for the night in his crib in his room. Whenever he wakes, I bring him into our bed. It is true that he wakes more often to nurse when he's next to me. I did try the PNP in our room, but then he wasn't with me, and he still woke a bunch, so we went back to his crib in his room.

The other thing to consider is naps. LO wasn't sleeping enough during the day, and I've really had to work on that, but as his naps improved, so did our nights.

+Mommy2Be+ · November 2011

Thanks so much for the feedback. So it only took one night of rocking your LO back to sleep when he woke to try to nurse at 2am for him to get on a new rhythm? If so, that is amazing. I know I am probably being unrealistic in my desperation to get more sleep, but I would love to see fast results like that. I have heard about the Sleep Lady Shuffle and will look into her site some more. I just now signed up for her newsletter- hoping to at least get some helpful tips there. You mentioned in Solidio's post that your LO now wakes at 2am for a feeding. So your LO sleeps from 8pm - 2am in his room, then wakes to nurse and you bring him back to your bed, where he then sleeps till 6am? That is a good stretch for a co sleeper! I may have to try something like this, more of a part time co sleeping arrangement. I certainly do not want to stop co sleeping completely but I know I need to make changes somewhere as I am so exhausted. Naps have been a terrible battle, that I didn't even mention in my original post as I figured one thing at a time..

I will have to continue working on her naps. She takes a max of 3 per day at no more than 45 minutes each (sometimes as short as 20 minutes). I feel like a failure in this area

lovekissedmama · November 2011

+Mommy2Be+:
. I feel like a failure in this area

Please don't blame your LO's sleeping habits on yourself! You are doing your best to get your family (yourself included) the most amount of sleep, right? This means you are not a failure! My daughter has similar sleep habits. We bedshare and she wakes up frequently. I began to feel resentment a few months ago. I knew something had to change. I did not want to sleep train (no judgement on those who do so) and so I changed my attitude. I made sure to get a solid chunk of alone time almost everyday - this gave me a sense of freedom and recharged me to some extent. I learned how to nurse while sleeping. I stopped wearing a watch to bed. I accepted that DD needed me frequently at night and surrendered. I STOPPED reading advice on baby's sleep. I stopped expecting any sign of independence from DD when it comes to sleep. I began going to bed with her at 7 pm (and have begun doing this again) She still wakes up a lot. But most days I wake up rested. It is very hard. Be kind to yourself - there is nothing wrong with your parenting and nothing wrong with your baby! I hope this didn't come across too strongly. I guess I am emotional about the topic of sleep because it has been such a challenge for me.

tchubirubi · November 2011

lovekissedmama:
+Mommy2Be+:

. I feel like a failure in this area

... I learned how to nurse while sleeping. I stopped wearing a watch to bed. I accepted that DD needed me frequently at night and surrendered.(...) She still wakes up a lot. But most days I wake up rested.(...)

THIS! Bedsharing made it so much easier for me! Please see my post on the solidio thread.

Good luck!

Co Sleeping Mommy Needs HELP!

Re: Co Sleeping Mommy Needs HELP!

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