Northern California Babies
Kinda sad, guys.
I am not sure if I even posted about this here. A couple months ago Grey told me that one of the girls at school (not in his class) "Likes to kiss boys on the penis."
I told his teacher about it, who thanked me and told me that there had been some other instances of inappropriate talk and she was glad I had come to her. They were trying to figure out who the girl was. Well, I figured it out. And let her know. I was really hoping it would be just a wildly inappropriate misunderstanding.
I just found out that she was removed from her family and is now in foster care. So, so, so f*cking sad.
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Re: Kinda sad, guys.
Yup, or maybe 6. She is very tall.
The Blog | BirthbyKellyM
No, not at all. I don't even know her name.
The Blog | BirthbyKellyM
this, exactly. such a heartbreaking situation, but it's bound to improve now.
Oh Kelly, how sad that it wasn't just a misunderstanding.
My boy is a reporter of all things and I can totally imagine that he'd bring that home, not knowing what it really meant. For those of us a few years behind you in the trenches, how did you handling talking about it with G?
Yesterday, after I got home from work C asked me what color my underwear were. We are pretty open and he often follows me to my room to chat as I get changed after work. But the way he asked it had me wondering about it so I asked him about it. I find that I worry so much about how to phrase what is okay to ask other people and what is okay for others to ask of him. He's still in preschool and the bathrooms are open so teachers can help the non-PT'd kids, and those who are training/newly trained, so I can't say, "only mommy, daddy, grandma" to private parts since teachers and other kids are there.
Anyway, I hope the classmate is going to be okay. Did she get to stay at school?
Reading this brought tears to my eyes and made me sick. I just don't understand how anyone could do something like that to a child. I'm glad you were able to figure it out and report it.
So so sad. I'm sorry you and G had to be even remotely involved, but you did the right thing.
Along the same lines as our bully at school. No sexual abuse that I know of, but definately abuse in the household. Just makes me sad.
I am so weary of bullies and often wonder about what their parents think of their behavior. My moms friends middle schooler was bullied. Turns out the bullier has a terrible home life. her parents didn't even care about what she was doing
The Blog | BirthbyKellyM
ditto :-(
As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, thank you for speaking up for this little girl. Chances are she either didn't understand that it was wrong, or she was scared to tell anyone out of fear of what may happen (but desperately wanting to, and finding other ways to "signal" that something wasn't right). I hope the girl is able to find a stable, loving, safe home, and her parents get the serious help they need.
It breaks my heart to see these things happen, and to know that so many children suffer in silence with nobody to be their advocate.
Mama's Clone - 07/18/12
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The Blog | BirthbyKellyM
I was caught by surprise when he said it. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but also let him know that it wasn't appropriate. Like, "You know you shouldn't show your penis at school, or let ANYone touch your penis at school right?". Mostly just reinforcing boundaries. I think the fact that he told me that she said that kind of already showed that he knew it was inappropriate. The way I found out who it was was that he was with his friend and they said, "There goes that weird girl." and after a gentle questioning he told me it was the girl who had said that.
She did stay at school. I can't help but watch her. Like on halloween, she went to the far side of a building with two boys, pretty much the only part of the playground adults can see from where they are standing. Can't help but wonder what was going on over there.
The Blog | BirthbyKellyM
I was caught by surprise when he said it. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but also let him know that it wasn't appropriate. Like, "You know you shouldn't show your penis at school, or let ANYone touch your penis at school right?". Mostly just reinforcing boundaries. I think the fact that he told me that she said that kind of already showed that he knew it was inappropriate. The way I found out who it was was that he was with his friend and they said, "There goes that weird girl." and after a gentle questioning he told me it was the girl who had said that.
She did stay at school. I can't help but watch her. Like on halloween, she went to the far side of a building with two boys, pretty much the only part of the playground adults can see from where they are standing. Can't help but wonder what was going on over there.
The Blog | BirthbyKellyM
That just sucks. It is beyond sad. I don't even have the words.
I'm glad that she had people stand up for her and enable her to get out of that situation.
OMG that is awful. Thank God she was actually removed! My SIL is a teacher and has reported so many cases to CPS that go nowhere.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for reporting it.
This, exactly. You won't get thanked for it, by her, but you are a hero. So I'll thank you for showing her love, and compassion, and caring. And showing her that people are concerned for her and that she can find a safe voice. She might never understand, but you did the right/best/only thing.
I echo this. Many many (((HUGS))) Kelly. You 100% did the right thing. Including being such a wonderful parent to Grey leading to his ability/ desire to communicate w/ you about something that didn't seem right.
to you both!
DD2: February 2014
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