URG I tried to be the bigger person....!!
First off let me just explain that my mother and I have a very strained relationship. I havent seen her since last March and Ive only talked to her once since then, just to tell her that Im pregnant. She's an alcoholic and for many reasons that I wont get into now I decided it was best for myself and my son if she wasnt in our lives anymore. Now here comes the hard part. Ive cut my mother off several times before but what always makes me go back to her is my eleven year old sister whom I raised from the time she was born up until she was eight (when I moved out). When my mother and I arent speaking she doesnt allow my sister to have anything to do with me. Its her way of getting back at me I guess. So flash forward to today. My sister in law (who is throwing my baby shower) asks for the guest list. Ive been debating on whether or not I should invite my mother but I finally decided that I would at least send her an invitation so I wont look back on day and regret not reaching out to her. Since my mother moved a few months ago I dont know her address so I text her telling her that I'd like for her to come and politely ask for her address. This is our conversation....
Me: I'd like to send you an invitation to the baby shower. I know we have a lot to work on but it would be really nice for you to be there. I'd love to be able to see Sarah(my little sister) and you.
no response..................
Me: We're working on invitations right now so are you interested in coming?
Mom: Im working right now.
Me: I get that, all I need is your address.
Mom: You can just mail it to my old address, it'll be forwarded to my new one.
BANG BANG BANG....oh sorrry I was slamming my head against the wall.
I debate if I should respond to that.....
Me: Thanks, you know Im really trying here mom. You could be just a little bit nicer.
fhlsdjhf24ui5rtg24 I just dont understand why she acts the way she does. Ive never asked her to stop drinking. I know that she has to want to. But I do ask that she at least acknowledges that she has a problem which she refuses to do so.
Re: URG I tried to be the bigger person....!!
I'm so sorry! I can't imagine the difficulty of going through that with your mom. My sister is similar -- an alcoholic/drug addict and I raised her 2 oldest children from the time they were only a few months old, but they kept going back and forth between my house and hers whenever it was convenient for her. I never know what to do with her, but my family is so insistent on including her in everything (thinking maybe it will make her change) that she ends up at every function adding stress and pressure to what should be an event about someone else. My dad is the same way, but not worth getting into...
Long story short (well, attempted) I feel for you and I think you did the best you could by trying to be the bigger person. If she wants to be petty about it, that's on her.
Its is a thankless job, being the bigger person. Its really hard for me to do so sometimes. Especially with being hormonal lol. But when it comes to family I to try to have as little regrets as possible. I do hope your grandma comes around though! Best of luck to you!!!