SAHM back to work?

ebearwife · November 2011

So, I was contacted by a former employer about coming back to work. I just sent in my resume. I'm extremely nervous bc I feel like its 50/50. I did not even consider going back to work, but I believe in opportunity so I went ahead and dusted off my resume, updated it, and sent it in. This job would involve a monster commute and putting Isaac in day care for the first time. The positives would of course be the money. DH is fine either way. I am feeling conflicted but I guess the only thing to do now is see what happens. If I get the interview I would need a suit in an appropriate size/current fashion so I might be soliciting some help in that department.

UGAbride · November 2011

Honestly, I'd consider it....totally would depend on salary, and if there were childcare solutions I could live with - since we are able to make it work with me staying home and I enjoy it. I've considered it for many reasons (not seriously, but just in a "what am I doing with my life" kind of way). But given the right opportunity, I'd be excited about it!

soon2b3 · November 2011

I'm working the opposite side right now, really struggling/frustrated with work and trying to decide if I just want to walk away from it all and be a SAHM, realizing I am lucky to have that option. I'm interested in seeing the thoughts and what you do. Good luck Martha!

ebearwife · November 2011

Oh, the decision is killing me and its not even really on the table yet. Requesting my resume is not an offer so I am trying to stay grounded. It is exciting that someone asked, though, very flattering, and its for an engineering position to boot - which I haven't done in 5 years. But it would kill me to leave Isaac that first day (I'm not as worried about P bc she has already done daycare FT and actually remembers and misses her friends from before) so I would be "that woman" who shows up in tears first day at work. But my potential boss is married to a SAHM (of 8!!) so I know he would understand how hard it would be for me. DH says its fine either way, we would just have to wait longer for "stuff" and I would just have to keep doing the housework myself.

KT&John · November 2011

I am a WAHM, but only do 15 hours, so I'm not completely in the same situation.

I think it is wonderful that you have this opportunity. Congratulations!

For me, I love the way things are now but as Trevor gets closer to 1 year old, if I got called back up to the big leagues, I think I would go. I love this time with my kids more than I can say, but at the same time, I am a person who needs to work. The 15 hours gives me the best of both worlds, but I know flexible employment situations like this often don't last forever. If I had to choose between losing my job completely or going back full-time, I would go.

Good luck with things, Martha! I know it must be exciting and terrifying at the same time.

ETA- Having me home more has definitely improved our quality of life and made the time we spend together with the kids more about being a family and less about trying to get everything done that we could not do during the week. I think it has given us perspective, and cheap as we are, we would both be open to cooking and cleaning help if I went back to work.

K&P414 · November 2011

I would definitely consider it w/ the ages that your children are. I've said it before but I feel like it gets exponentially harder to juggle work once the kids start real school and you have their schedules to juggle just as much of a priority as yours. And also, depends on what "monster commute" means. Good luck, let us know how things go!

ebearwife · November 2011

"monster commute" is Dacula to Tucker. On the map - easy peasy. In reality the I-85 commute is a real bear. Toss in the 316 construction (in order to use current daycare I would go through Lawrenceville) and I'd spend half the day in traffic. DH says using the peach pass would be OK and that would definitely help. But still. I am thinking I would need to budget one hour each way minimum, which means 8 hrs work, 2 hrs in the car, 30 min-1hr lunch so kids are in day care 11 hours. Boo.

Then budget another half hour each morning and afternoon to get the kids to and from daycare from home. It would be long days for sure.

yellowtulips80 · November 2011

I commute from Lawrenceville to Alpharetta daily. Let me tell you....monster commutes are not to be underestimated. I spend around an hour in the car each way. It sucks.

I personally need something to do work wise. I enjoy the challenges. I'd also love to be a sahm. Don't worry about daycare. It will take time and you and issac will adjust in time.

lindzed · November 2011

Can you ask if they would consider doing part time or letting you work from home a few days a week (just to avoid the commute). I know I am in the minority but I would not do it, although you should be flattered they asked. I am working full time from home because we needed the money from both our incomes, but I already feel like I miss a ton and I am only working from 8-4 and its super flexible.

morethanready · November 2011

Your situation is similar to mine, but I am not a SAHM. I am on maternity leave for 3 months, and I have been searching for another job. My old Job contacted me. My problem is also the commute. I would have to go from Chamblee to canton! OUCH! I have done it before and hated it. My option is to keep my current job but go to part time and the new job will only be PRN. I Don't know what to do either. We have a nanny, so the kids are good. Jobs are so hard to find, esp in my field so if I get an interview, that's big! Also, my husband is a planning engineer and he works very close to home and his job is usually looking for people. Good luck!

virginia&alan · December 2011

I'm with lindzed. I would be flattered that my old employer thought of me first, but the monster commute would definitely kill the deal. If Polly and Isaac are anything like my girls, they aren't awake much more than 12-14 hours a day. If 11 of those hours are in daycare, that doesn't leave much time for y'all as a family. Especially, when most of that time will be spent feeding the kids dinner, bathing, prepping for daycare the next day, etc. For me, the money would have to be a heck of lot to offset a 2 hour round trip commute and crunched family time. Of course, you can take what I have to say with a grain of salt because I have no intention of going back to work if I can avoid it Big Smile

If you feel the pull, that should be strongly factored in, even with the monster commute.

care99 · December 2011

soon2b3:
I'm working the opposite side right now, really struggling/frustrated with work and trying to decide if I just want to walk away from it all and be a SAHM, realizing I am lucky to have that option. I'm interested in seeing the thoughts and what you do. Good luck Martha!

Ditto this. My job is super stressful and demanding and I feel like I'm coming unglued at the seams most days. I'm hoping to quit or at least go part time. Just depends on what works for you and your family. You can always quit if it doesn't work out.

slwprincess · December 2011

care99:

soon2b3:
I'm working the opposite side right now, really struggling/frustrated with work and trying to decide if I just want to walk away from it all and be a SAHM, realizing I am lucky to have that option. I'm interested in seeing the thoughts and what you do. Good luck Martha!

Ditto this. My job is super stressful and demanding and I feel like I'm coming unglued at the seams most days. I'm hoping to quit or at least go part time. Just depends on what works for you and your family. You can always quit if it doesn't work out.

This is me too. Its no secret that I have the commute from hell. Even with me only going in the office 3 days a week at this point and teleworking the rest, I still question my decision every single day. We were in a different situation when we bought our house but I can assure you, we would not take this commute on again. The daycare drama that we have is pretty unique but there will always be some kind of frustration that is outside of your control. Financially, I make more than enough to cover the cost of daycare... but when you add up the extra costs of car maintenence (not gas- DH would still make the drive even if I SAH), maid service, eating out (b/c I refuse to cook), and most of all the CONSTANT stress and exhaustion, it feels like we are breaking even most of the time. If I wanted to quit, I'm sure we could pull it off but the truth is, I am not 100% sure that I would be satisfied as a full time SAHM. Then again, I'm not 100% satisfied being a full time WM either. I have finally come to the realization that I will probably always be in a "grass is always greener" position on this subject. I'm just trying to make the most of it and I do have a very strict policy of leaving my work at the office. If I wasn't able to have that freedom, I know I would not be able to continue working.

Kerrin · December 2011

I have a monster commute. I'm in the car 2.5+ hours most days in rush hour. The kids were in daycare 10+ hours a day. Then we changed it up when DH switched jobs. One of us goes in early, while the other gets the kids ready for school, daycare, etc. The early bird misses most of the traffic, and has the advantage of leaving earlier to pick the kids up earlier. Our schedule is a bit like this:

1. Early bird leaves house by 6:00-6:15am. It sucks getting up at 5am, but the bonus is that you miss traffic and cuts my round trip to under 2 hours (like just over 1.5 hours). Huge savings in commute time. Leave work by 3:30pm or earlier depending on what time i got there, and i can be at daycare no later than 4:15ish.

2. Late bird gets kids up at 6am and everyone out the door by 6:50am to catch the school bus. Ava gets to daycare around 7am, and then that person is off to work, typically gettng to work around 8ish.

We rotate who gets to be the earlier bird based on what we have planned for that day.

So there are ways to work around the commute. With this system, Ava is in daycare for just over 9 hours/day. Huge improvement. Carter get's picked up at school and taken to the after school program at daycare. I try to run all errands on my lunch break. Or I eat lunch at my desk, and leave earlier. Of course this plan is all shot to hell when DH is out of town, but it's just an option of how you can make things work.

myrall · December 2011

Kerrin:
I have a monster commute. I'm in the car 2.5+ hours most days in rush hour. The kids were in daycare 10+ hours a day. Then we changed it up when DH switched jobs. One of us goes in early, while the other gets the kids ready for school, daycare, etc. The early bird misses most of the traffic, and has the advantage of leaving earlier to pick the kids up earlier. Our schedule is a bit like this:

1. Early bird leaves house by 6:00-6:15am. It sucks getting up at 5am, but the bonus is that you miss traffic and cuts my round trip to under 2 hours (like just over 1.5 hours). Huge savings in commute time. Leave work by 3:30pm or earlier depending on what time i got there, and i can be at daycare no later than 4:15ish.

2. Late bird gets kids up at 6am and everyone out the door by 6:50am to catch the school bus. Ava gets to daycare around 7am, and then that person is off to work, typically gettng to work around 8ish.

We rotate who gets to be the earlier bird based on what we have planned for that day.

So there are ways to work around the commute. With this system, Ava is in daycare for just over 9 hours/day. Huge improvement. Carter get's picked up at school and taken to the after school program at daycare. I try to run all errands on my lunch break. Or I eat lunch at my desk, and leave earlier. Of course this plan is all shot to hell when DH is out of town, but it's just an option of how you can make things work.

DH and I run similar to this, but we don't rotate. I leave for work at 6:30 to be in Midtown by 7. Work 'til 4 and then go get Geneva - home by 4:30/4:45. DH drops DD off in the a.m. around 8:30 and gets home most days around 5:30 p.m.

We may have to do a little shuffling when I go back to work in January, depending on Cecil, etc. - but I'm the early bird in the family. Not to mention - DH has a reverse commute. I drive right into the mouth of the beast, so I need to be on the road early.

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