I don't want to give up on breastfeeding :(
I feel at a loss at this point. I don't know what else I can do.
RIght now when I pump, I get 1 ounce total from both boobs maybe twice a day, and then the rest of the time I get half that. I just feel like I'm not producing enough, since when I look it up, people are getting so much more than that.
I feel so stressed about it.
On top of it, EVERYONE I know keeps asking me about if I'm breastfeeding, how it's going, all that. I feel like it's such a personal thing, and people just don't seem to think so. I had my damn landlord ask me about it even. It's just really getting to me, like there's something really wrong with me and everyone else has no problems, but I do.
I pump maybe 6 times a day, which i'm sure is part of the problem. My baby is 1 month old as of yesterday, so I am not sure if there's hope to fix this, or maybe it's too late now.
Has anyone else had these issues? I just feel totally lost.
On top of it, my parents are coming to visit, and every time i talk to them they ask about my milk supply and if i'm breastfeeding. I just wish I could be left alone about it. it's this constant reminder from everyone around me, and everyone feeling like they have a right to know and comment, and tell me what I should be doing. It's really getting to me. 
I really don't want to give up. And the thing is, Olly latches on with the nipple shield, but I feel like he's not getting enough, so he stops. I really do want to give him what he needs, I just feel so overwhelmed and stressed about it, I feel like I should just pump what I can and give him the formula, and that's it. I really don't know what to do. I would love to get more of a supply. I have started drinking the mother's milk tea, and it's helping with milk for sure. I guess I just worry that this is it, and I'm not able to get more. Sorry for the vent ladies, I just feel lost and am not really interested in talking to friends about it who don't really understand.
Re: I don't want to give up on breastfeeding :(
I'm really sorry
I know it's stressful and I have absolutely no clue as to why people think milk coming out of your breasts is any business of theirs! I don't like discussing it with anyone other than moms/family/friends.
I don't feel I have any advice for you - I don't think you're even asking for that - but I'm here to listen and offer/send you a ::hug::
thank you. i actually saw your post on someone else's question, and read your blog about your struggle with breastfeeding. i'm sitting here crying reading it. i just feel so lost. i want to do it so bad, i just feel like i'm failing him, and i'm not getting enough milk. and then the stress on top of it from everyone asking and commenting and telling me how much milk other people were getting, and im not getting enough. I just don't know what I can do. I just feel like I have no choice but to give up. Thanks for listening, it means a lot.
I went and spoke with a specialist that my LC recomemnded, and I was given a medication to try and 2 herbals to try. All 3 are safe for the baby and if I can remember to take them I seem to have a pretty good amount. I would love to have a 30 mL pump!! I think it is great youcan get that much! I am luckly to get a 20 mL pump, with the medication help. If I do not take it I am luckly to get 10 mL total.
Talk with your LC and see if there is something that she recomends. Don't throw in the towel just yet!!
thanks so much. I'm glad i'm not alone in this. I just felt quite alone because the friends i have that have babies don't have preemies. They all talk about how much milk they get, and it's so hard to feel like I'm not getting enough. Thanks for the comment, it means a lot. I called my lactation specialist and she is going to call me back in a bit to talk about all this. i really don't want to give up, but i was feeling like maybe i should, since i'm not giving my baby enough. just feel so much pressure from everyone asking me, and i'm just super stressed about it. it just really gets to me and im sick of being so upset and crying over feeling like i'm failing him. thanks for listening and your advice.
You are not failing him. No matter what you choose, you are not failing him. He will eat, he will grow, and he will know he has a mommy who loves him. These are the most important things.
Breastfeeding in the NICU is really hard. Its exhausting to pump around the clock and worry about your baby too. And then there is the struggle with supply. Does your hospital have LCs? If BFing is something you aren't ready to give up on, ask to talk to them about your options for increasing supply. kellymom.com has a lot of good resources too. You can also think about supplementing-feeding part BM and part formula if you need to, many women here do that as well.
Bottom line-you don't have to give up if you aren't ready. There is still time to up your supply if you want to do it. But if you don't want to, if its adding more stress than you need in your life, its ok to stop too.
Our precious girl, born at 27 weeks.
Ditto kck -- you're not failing! Sometimes you have to do what's best for your sanity.
Does anyone have the link to Katie's post about how she increased her supply?
thank you. i really dont want to give up, i just feel lost. i guess the pressure of every day being asked by friends and family about it is getting to me too. I wish people would just stop asking about it. it's strange to me that people don't realize how personal of a thing it is. i have started drinking that mother's milk tea, and have noticed it's helping today. i guess i was just having a moment where i felt so crappy about it, and needed somewhere to let it out. Thanks for listening. I hope it'll get better. I dont want to give up.
Thanks for replying. i feel like a broken record. I posted about this before when Olly first came out of the hospital. I guess it's just nice to know there are people here that understand. i was having a low moment, i was upset and crying over it and needed to get it out. thanks for listening. i really want to keep working at it. i just feel the pressure because my parents are coming in like 3 weeks and will be here commenting on it. it's stressing me out so much. thanks again. and i'll keep researching on how to up my supply and try to pump more. thanks for listening!!!
Tell your parents, friends, and anyone else who asks that BFing for a preemie is hard, you are doing everything you can for your baby, you don't want to talk about it anymore, and then change the subject. When the ask again, repeat the same thing. Good luck-I know it sucks when you are trying so hard and feel like everyone is adding pressure.
Our precious girl, born at 27 weeks.
If you don't want to give up, don't give up. However, tell your family to SHOVE IT. I cannot understand why people think asking how much you are pumping is a good thing. Weirdos.
I had a terrible supply in the beginning. It was so small. My milk didn't even start to come in until the 10th day. I was getting colostrum and very very little milk (we're talking barely enough a day and he was only drinking 2ml 8 times a day). So, not even an ounce.
Here is the post about what I did. I am still pumping 6 months later (though I am thinking of quitting). Right now, my goal is to get to 9 months and use my freezer stash (which is 3 months worth of milk).
Also, do not be afraid to use formula. Just don't skip pumping during that feeding if you do. However, I will say, I think you need to pump more than 6 times a day until at least 6 weeks, bus since your supply is low shoot for 8 weeks.
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
I was just coming here to ask for advice. I really hate my pump right now - my boobs feel full and they're just not giving up the goods.
Hang in there, momma. You're doing a great job - sometimes boobs just don't cooperate. With my first DD (she was full term), I had struggles with BF'ing to the point where I would just bawl my eyes out and stressed SO bad. Ultimately, I ended up doing both BF'ing and formula for awhile, and lo and behold, I still have a healthy 3 year old. Trust, I know how it feels to think you're failing at the mom thing, but you are NOT. You are a good mom, you feed him, he's going to thrive boob milk, formula, or a combination.
yep, I'm still pumping and with every day I get more discouraged. My supply started out slow as my DD was in the NICU after my emergency c-section. So, the RNs told me to start pumping to help with my supply even though she couldn't have it yet. Once I was discharged, the commute back and forth to the hospital messed with my pumping schedule. I was so tired of people telling me that I needed to rest to help with my supply. But how are you supposed to rest if you are pumping every three hours. My supply did increase but I went back to work around week 6 to save my maternity leave so when she was discharged I would have 6 more weeks at home with her. I was told that when mothers whose go back to work the supply goes down and that if you pump exclusively around 6 weeks your supply goes down as well. So I have been very frustrated. I started taking Fenugreek but was never told the correct dose and found out I wasn't taking enough. I was told by the LC to add more pumping time into the day (a few short ones here and there) but I can?t with working. I was told to pump for 10 stop 5 and Pump for 10 more minutes but that hasn?t seem to help. I?m trying to get at least to 6 months but I don?t know if I can make. Now that she has been transferred to the Special car nursery in the hospital closer to us, my pumping schedule is more regular. So, I feel your pain. And I hate it when people ask how my supply is doing too.
::hugs:: it's all right to stop, though. I promise. I never struggled with supply issues - if I had I can't say that the outcome of our story would have been the same.
I am so sorry! I know exactly what you are going through. I never got more than 1 oz (both boobs combined) even though I was pumping round the clock. Sometimes I got much less...and I had to split that between 2 babies. It was so frustrating and I cried many days about it. I felt like I couldn't do much for my twins, but giving them my breast milk was the one thing I could do and even that wasn't working. It didn't help that the NICU nurses were constantly asking for milk and then acting like I must not be pumping enough when I told them I have a low supply. I felt like they didn't believe me. I also don't understand why people feel like they can ask you about breast feeding. It is nobody's business and it just made me feel bad everytime someone started asking about it.
I spoke to a LC several time and tried everything they told me...massages, warm compresses, pumping at shorter intervals, herbs, etc. Nothing helped. I continued pumping for 2 1/2 months because I felt like if the babies got a little breast milk it was better than nothing. The reason I stopped was because my DD came home and my son was still in the NICU and it became too stressful trying to do nightly feedings with DD, pump every 2-3 hours, and then spend the day at the hospital with DS. It was a very hard decision to stop, but DH was very supportive and made me realize that I did everything I could and the babies got breast milk in the beginning when it was most important.
Try not to beat yourself up. If you can keep it going then do so, but if you feel like it is way too stressful then it is okay to stop. If your supply doesn't come in, there is nothing you can do. You are still a wonderful mother!!