Elderly <vent>

jennasita · November 2011

I went to the doc today to check on the spotting. There's apparently some blood from the placenta trying to imbed or something. All is fine with little one and this will go away according to the mw. I couldn't see my OB because she is ill, so I had to see the mw. I usually don't like to see her because she's... well, she doesn't strike me as the most knowledgeable person. (There have been issues in the past.)

Today, she says to me, "You know, 37 is really considered elderly when it comes to having babies."

This is me -> Indifferent

Then she proceeds to give me a biology lesson about a woman's eggs from birth to age 35 and all the chromosomal issues that could arise. I guess she's assuming I am illiterate and live in a cave. She tried to push chromosomal testing on me. I told her I'd talk to my doctor about it. She said, "Well, she's just going to tell you the same thing I'm telling you." I don't think so... my OB doesn't seem worried, so why should I be? I went in there to talk about my spotting. Not to get a lecture on how I'm too old to be having babies complete with biology lesson. /vent

bridekimmie · November 2011

You know you would think that teenagers would be high risk due to age and other factors. We are mature women who know what we want. I really get tired of hearing AMA, elderly, ect. If it was such a risk to get pregnant after 35 it would be mandatory to have a tubal or hysterectomy when you reach 35. UHHH!!! Think it's the headache and the hormones talking!!

drbethc · November 2011

I totally hear your vent. I'm the same age as you so am also considered "elderly" as far as pregnancy is concerned. This is my first child and although my OB does consider me high risk, he hasn't stated anything to make me feel bad. His wife is actually an OB as well and they had their first set of twins when she was 40.

stever · November 2011

I hate the "ederly primigravida" crap! I was told that's what I was with DS and was like, "does it make a difference that I conceived when I was 34?"

I was told, humorlessly, that it didn't.

Humbug.

ELF4321 · November 2011

WTF? I think I would have told her off. But I'm like that.

JFH2010 · November 2011

Wow, that is truly unbelieveable. That woman needs to find a new profession. My doctor has not once mentioned age to me (I'm 35).

racampbell1 · November 2011

That stinks. If it makes you feel any better, I have seen the term "elderly" on every.single.office.visit.summary. I have tried to stop looking at it. I'm only 39 for god's sake, not 50. And as for testing, that is entirely YOUR choice, she should not be pushing anything on you. Grrrrr.

jennasita · November 2011

racampbell1:
That stinks. If it makes you feel any better, I have seen the term "elderly" on every.single.office.visit.summary. I have tried to stop looking at it. I'm only 39 for god's sake, not 50. And as for testing, that is entirely YOUR choice, she should not be pushing anything on you. Grrrrr.

Even 50's not elderly. I agree, though. The testing is my choice. I told her that too. My OB would NEVER push that on me unless she really felt there was a need for it. They seriously put elderly on your visit summaries? Wow.

jazzcrawford · November 2011

How rude!! I would have excused myself from the appointment and went to the e.r. if there wasn't another practicing physician affiliated with my OB's practice. I would also speak with or send a letter to my OB.

I'm sorry you were upset but that rude woman when you should have been able to focus on your baby & pregnancy

Kelgina · November 2011

lol! My Dr & I were joking about that at my appt. today. I am about 6 wks pregnant with #2. This time I am 40 (cue ominous music). He told me it was called elderly primigravida. We thought it sounded like I needed a cane and a boy scout to help me accross the street.

jennasita · November 2011

Kelgina:
lol! My Dr & I were joking about that at my appt. today. I am about 6 wks pregnant with #2. This time I am 40 (cue ominous music). He told me it was called elderly primigravida. We thought it sounded like I needed a cane and a boy scout to help me accross the street.

I've never even heard this term before. I looked it up. This isn't my first. It's my fourth. Still... it's insulting.

danish16 · November 2011

Ouch! I'm going to take a guess that she is younger than 35?? If so, this won't seem so OLD to her when she gets here. I think I would have to request to not see her again...

FyreFlyeRush · November 2011

bridekimmie:
You know you would think that teenagers would be high risk due to age and other factors. We are mature women who know what we want. I really get tired of hearing AMA, elderly, ect. If it was such a risk to get pregnant after 35 it would be mandatory to have a tubal or hysterectomy when you reach 35. UHHH!!! Think it's the headache and the hormones talking!!

Teens usually are considered high risk. My sister was at 16/17, and I wasn't high risk, but they watched me at 18/19.

As far as genetic testing, personal choice. I chose to bypass screenings and have it done. I'd rather know 100% than have baby compared to an avg in the populous. Not all babies are the same!

jennasita · November 2011

danish16:
Ouch! I'm going to take a guess that she is younger than 35?? If so, this won't seem so OLD to her when she gets here. I think I would have to request to not see her again...

Oh no! She's probably in her 60s!!!!

mamasixpack · November 2011

Ugh! Ridiculous! I got called geriatric if it makes you feel any better... I'm 38. Apparently, the end is nigh! My kids had better be ready to put me in the home!

Brosis · November 2011

That midwife is an insensitive <insert nasty word here>! You went in for a medical problem & reassurance, not a lecture! I would totally report this interaction to your regular OB. The doctor/s in the practice should know what is being said to patients in their absence.

Do your best to shake off the comments & be thankful for the wisdom & experience you have. Personally speaking, I am so much more prepared now (emotionally, maritally, financially, etc.) than I was in my 20's to be a mom. Also, I'm 40 & have never been referred to as "elderly".

pdstewart1969 · November 2011

WOW....your doctor probably wouldn't have even taken me as a patient. I was told I couldn't have children, due to non ovulation. Here i am 35.5 weeks pregnant at 41 and will more than likely be 42 when she is born. My doc has never said I was too old, and the specialst I went to said he has seen women in their 50's pregnant.

jennasita · November 2011

pdstewart1969:
WOW....your doctor probably wouldn't have even taken me as a patient. I was told I couldn't have children, due to non ovulation. Here i am 35.5 weeks pregnant at 41 and will more than likely be 42 when she is born. My doc has never said I was too old, and the specialst I went to said he has seen women in their 50's pregnant.

Just to clarify, my OB has NEVER said anything like that to me. This was the midwife at the center who filled in for my doc while she was ill. Maybe you're referring to a PP. If so, sorry. Message boards aren't very clear sometimes.

theboki · November 2011

I'm 45. If you're elderly, I'm dead.

Irishgypsy88 · November 2011

theboki:
I'm 45. If you're elderly, I'm dead.

I second that. I'm 41, so she probably thinks I'm ready for a home or something!

lovetohike · November 2011

Sounds like she has dementia! What a stupid thing to say.... really? Elderly.. she needs to look in the mirror! eek

Sorry that happened OP.

Being AMA sucks. I look like I am in my 20's, but sadly am not.. and being AMA is scary to me. I would not take and "elderly" comment well.

Wipz · December 2011

theboki:
I'm 45. If you're elderly, I'm dead.

lol I was thinking the same thing.. I will turn 42 just after our lil man is due. However on a bright note... despite the fact I am classed as elderly and have already sprouted instant overnight gray hairs.. I read somewhere that older women with younger fathers balance out the equation, so if anyone says anything just tell them ...it's not your fault ....you married an old man lol.

my husband is 23 ... so the way I see it.. we're a 32 year old couple having a baby haha. We're happy...baby is healthy ... age is irrelevant. My Oby called me old at one appt, but he was joking around. I asked for an Oby with a sense of humor and got one.. so no complaints from me on that score

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