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December 2010 Moms
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Vent/Feeling down- re: family member with depression

IncogNeatoIncogNeato member
in December 2010 Moms

Sorry for venting here but there's no where else to go with this. My brother has depression and is having a really hard month. He reached out to me today and asked to come over and hang out and I wish I could say that I helped in some way but I don't think I did. Instead, I think he thought my saying, "Ugh, I don't want to do chores tonight" was my way of telling him to move on out, which it wasn't.

Now I keep thinking of him home alone, feeling depressed and hopeless and it just drags me down and makes me so scared and sad. Mental illness is evil. There never seems to be anything I can do or say that helps at all. (and yes, he is getting professional help, too, but I don't know how much it's helping.) DH tries, but doesn't really understand, and I can't talk to my mom because I know she's already SO worried.

I know I can't solve his problems for him but I worry about him so much. I hate to think about how awful he feels on a daily basis. And then on top of it all, seeing how my mom suffers makes my heart, especially now that I have LO and can imagine how horrible it would be as a mother.

This sucks. 

Thanks for listening. 

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Re: Vent/Feeling down- re: family member with depression

  • Nicole0012Nicole0012 member

    Gosh, that's so frustrating and difficult to be a part of. I'm not sure that I have any advice, but I'm glad you are able to be an open door for him to come and talk about things. Does he talk about his depression? Is your LO around when he's there? I'd only imagine that babies can add at least a smile :) It's also good that your DH even tries. I think that your brother would probably realize how much he's loved by his family, which can only be a good thing.

    Hang in there. Big hugs.

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  • Cheekers2010Cheekers2010 member

    ((hugs))

    It sounds like you are doing EVERYTHING you can do.  You are being a great sister and your brother is so lucky to have you.  It's amazing that you're being so strong for him.  I'm so sorry it's tough.

    I'm sending you and your brother good thoughts.

    Lilypie - (vGZN)

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  • kj07kj07 member

    That does suck and I'm sorry.  It is really hard to feel like you can't help someone you love, but like mands said, the best you can do is be there and ask what you can do to make them feel healthier/better.

    You also need to take care of yourself - it's good to come here to vent when you need to, but if things start feeling hard or overwhelming consider taking a therapy session or two for yourself.  Hugs!

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  • chrisncassiechrisncassie
    Speaking from experience, you are there, and that helps - trust me. and its awesome he reaches out to you. I tend to internalize, and that makes the depression much worse. You sound like a great sister, keep being there for him as much as you can.
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