- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
July 2012 Moms
medical care
Is anyone else taking an alternative approach to prenatal care? My husband and I have decided to forgo traditional care and instead are receiving care with our spiritualist who is very skilled in natural remedy. My MIL asked about prenatal care this weekend and has been giving us all sorts of grief for not going to a medical doctor. She also hates that I plan to have a home birth and is already saying she is sure something will go wrong. I'm so stressed out, I know its our child and our decision but I hate not to have the support of our family. Does anyone else's family not support the decisions you are making for your pregnancy? I'm just not sure how to respond to her, shes the type that will keep going on about this for years to come.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: medical care
BFP #2: 1.30.12 - missed m/c found on 2.27.12 - D&C 3.1.12 @8w
I'm having a homebirth. I will have a certified midwife here, along with her assistant. My mom has accepted it, after I gave her links and some books to read to help. My mother in law is more "eh" about it, it makes her extremely nervous. But frankly, I don't care
It's a decision my H and I made together, and the opinions of others (when it comes to something coming from MY body) doesn't really matter to me. I mean, I love her.. and I hate that it makes her uncomfortable, don't get me wrong. But, it won't make me change my mind.
You have to make your own choices, you have to be happy with your care and birth. As long as it's safe, I'm all for it.
(who will be delivering your child, out of curiosity?)
BFP #2- 9/2012 (beautiful boy born sleeping @ 20 weeks)
Our spiritualist will be assisting with my labor. We plan to do a meditative birth at home.
This may not accurately describe all spiritualist but ours acts as a medium for us when providing readings and we also go to her for guidance and support with our life decisions. We've been with her for years now and she is great. She also does holistic and spiritual care for us which replaces the need to see a medical doctor.
^^This would be my biggest worry. I'm planning on a hospital in case something goes wrong.
In American/Western societies, a "spiritualist" would not be considered sound and prudent medical intervention for a serious health issue/event, such as pregnancy and child birth. As a result, people who live in such a society and who choose alternative forms of handling medical issues, need to be ready to accept and deal with the questions and criticisms that are likely to come from those who do not agree with such a belief system. It would be the same if someone from Western society went to a drastically different culture and expected that culture to adapt and respond warmly to Western style medicine.
Perhaps this is just my Western medicine bias talking, but it does seem very dangerous to rely solely on a "spiritualist" to handle all of your pre- and post-natal care. Western medicine has greatly improved the outcomes for both mother and baby, whereas childbirth for much of history was a frequently life-threatening condition for women and their babies.
And that is likely where your MIL is coming from. She sees great risk to you and the child at the hands of a person who is not properly trained or skilled in how to deal with some of the extremely serious and life-threatening complications that can arise. I doubt she's questioning your choices just to be a jerk.
You will need to decide for yourself whether this is a path you are 100% certain about, and accept that you will receive negative feedback from many people about it. You cannot change how other people feel, or what they believe. And you can only choose for yourself what you feel is best (and accept full responsibility for any and all consequences of that). You can attempt to communicate with your MIL about your choices, and educate her about your medical belief system. She may never agree with you though, and I think you'll just have to be ready to accept that and deal with it.
Mama's Clone - 07/18/12
if by "spiritualist" you happen to mean certified midwife, then great. but ummm...if this is just some lady who knows NOTHING about childbirth and can't help you IF things go wrong, then you might be in some trouble, and i don't blame your MIL one bit for trying to urge you in another direction.
get a midwife if you want to birth at home. have your spiritualist there with you during labor for assistance mentally, but she can't do anything when it comes to labor. sorry, but don't be stupid.
I watched it too...but keep in mind the magic of television, I'm sure she was screaming at some point and it landed on the editing room floor
haha