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December 2011 Moms
Sheazier
member
Anyone have or had a doula? Opinions please
Sheazier
member
I'm considering hiring a doula, but am trying to weigh the costs with the benefits. I am a FTM and do not have any female relatives that live anywhere close, so the idea of having an experienced female presence is comforting to me, especially since I am terrified of labor. I have taken birth classes, watched movies, gone on a tour of the hospital, talked with my doctor, read several books, etc., but nothing is really helping me with my intense, perhaps irrational, fear of labor and vaginal delivery. I have nightmares about ripping, tears, bleeding, and even dying during childbirth and I can feel my heart rate rising just thinking about it. Intellectually, I totally understand that these fears are irrational. However, I find that my anxiety overcomes my intellect and panic sets in.
I plan on a medicated hospital birth, but the hospital will not admit patients until they are having 5-1-1 contractions, so all of the early labor will be at home. My husband is very supportive and sympathetic and deals with medical emergencies often (he's a law enforcement officer), but hates to see me in any kind of pain. The doula agency charges $500. Although we can afford it, I want to do a little more research before committing the funds. Thoughts? Anyone have any experience with a doula?
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Re: Anyone have or had a doula? Opinions please
I have a doula. This is my first baby, so I don't have first hand experience with delivery, but I have loved my doula so far. Like you, I am fearful of labor and delivery. It calms me to know that in addition to my husband, I will have someone there who is focused on helping me through the process, and that her knowledge will help me to labor in a way that I progress naturally and effectively.
Both of my sisters had doulas and loved them. It's not that everyone needs a doula. But if it would help you to have more peace then I think it is worth the money.
That said, check out the doulas on dona.org. You don't have to hire through an agency and you may find one less expensive. I know that location is a factor in price, and you may live in a pricier area, but my doula is only $300. Oh, and jump on it fast! You'll want to meet with your doula once or twice before delivery, so line something up soon! Good luck!
I have a doula, and my DH is also in law enforcement! I'm planning a natural hospital birth and my doula will be extra support and someone who is knowledgeable and supportive of natural birth. If DH needs a break, to get some food or pee or something, she will step in as my coach and labor help.
She actually came to my house tonight and went with me to the hospital and stayed until DH got there (he was at work) and they kicked her out. I'm excited to have her, she's a great resource.
ABSOLUTELY YES--GET A DOULA! I cant stress enough how beneficial a doula can be! My sister is finishing up her certification to become DONA certified (my DD's birth tonight actually counted as her last birth she needed to attend before certification!) and she was my doula for both labors which were both VERY different (1- a long intense induction at 37 weeks for medical issues and then my labor tonight which took a long time to get going but went incredibly fast once it did and I was successfully able to go med-free!). While I was in very early labor my sister and I were actually talking about the role of doula and she had a good analogy/way of looking at it-- she said that a doula is a great safety net. It gives you the peace of mind knowing that she is there if you need her and can take as much of an active role (or step back so your DH can step in) as much as needed.
For me, I labored all but 1 hour out of a 27 hour pitocin induction med free and I 100% could not have done that without my doula. Tonight-- she made all the difference in helping me to decide when to go to the hospital (I very easily could have not made it to the hospital with how fast things went on). I agree that you should look on dona.org to see if you can find a cheaper doula if cost is an issue (honestly though, $500 is pretty low to average. I live in the midwest where things tend to be a pretty low COL and even my sister charges $400-- free for me, but $400 for her other clients which she said is on the low end of the other doulas she knows). I would also consider doing some research online to see if you can find someone working towards DONA certification. The very last step of their certification process is that they need to attend 3 births-- as a result they will often offer reduced rates/sliding scale or even free services to help get their births in. HTH!
I also recommend a doula. We haven't had our baby yet, but we have met with her three times already and I can tell she will be a huge help during labor. I am hoping to go med free, and doula assisted births have higher percentages of med free births and lower c-section rates. We had a hard time finding a doula a few months ago, I think this is because we are due right before Christmas, so we found a student doula who is one birth away from her certification. She is not charging us anything and we just need to write up / review her for her certification process. I have also heard insurance might cover doulas, depending on your plan. I have only read great things about doulas and am looking forward to this experience because I know she is there to help and support me and my husband. It is extremely comforting knowing we don't have to do it alone.
I hired a doula for my first (and will be using her for this child as well) and it was the best decision for my husband and I. Our doula helpd to keep my husband involved in assisting with pain relief through massage, support, and encouraging position changes-which he loved being involved in helping me feel better. She helped to keep me "on top" of my contractions and was a great support when things got hairy after delivery.
I did go medication free, but I think a doula can be very helpful for med-free, medicated and c-section births and postpartum.
As PP have said, you really need to start looking for a doula immediately if you're due in December. Many doulas only take a certian amount of clients/month and can be booked up months in advance.
I have one and just got her. She is a student doula, so I am one of the births she needs to get certified.
I think having a doula is like having a wedding planner. Sure, you can do it yourself, but it is much easier having someone that can help you through it.
My husband and I have a doula (we're first time parents), and it's the best decision we've made this pregnancy. I was getting scared about labor (understatement) and have felt completely relaxed since hiring our doula. She knows so much and has seen so many births (including med free, medicated, and csection), knows tons about natural pain relief, accelerating a stalled labor naturally, etc.
Our doula is also $500, which includes 2 prenatal visits and 1 postpartum visit (and the labor, obviously). Best $500 I've ever spent.