Insensitive SIL...

watkinae · November 2011

I don?t know if you ladies remember, but a couple weeks ago I found out my SIL is pregnant with her second and I was dreading their Thanksgiving weekend visit. My SIL is probably the most self absorbed person that I know and I knew she was going to be talking about her pregnancy non-stop. Well I was right. This weekend?s visit was awful!

Friday night I had to hear how she didn?t think she would get pregnant this quickly and received a lecture on how an egg gets fertilized. Then she couldn?t remember how long the first trimester was thinking maybe it was 12 or 16 weeks, when I offered up 13.3 she didn?t even acknowledge the answer (probably since I?ve never been pregnant) and concluded it was 12 (so the person that already has a kid doesn?t even know how long the trimesters are). She asked me again for the million-ith time this year if we were trying. I said yes, but she continued to talk about her pregnancy.

Saturday night my husband got bombarded while we were out at dinner. I left the table and she asked him if we were trying (which she just asked me the night before) and when he said yes she told him that he needs to have a talk with his little swimmers because we?re supposed to be pregnant at the same time. SERIOUSLY?? Now we don?t have a problem with his swimmers but what if we did? What a sucker punch to his manhood.

I love my brother and nephew, but it?s at the point I?m wanting to avoid her as much as possible. How can someone be so clueless, rude, and insensitive?

jenn0620 · November 2011

WOW, my SIL is insensitive, but not that bad. I'm sorry you had to deal with that this weekend.

pantsarella · November 2011

Yeah, my SIL is pretty insensitive, too. She and my BIL had problems getting pregnant, too but refuses to acknowledge it. Now that we're having trouble, her opinion is that we shouldn't have kids since clearly "it's not meant to be".

It sucks to have family that's so insensitive. =(

KdgTeacher · November 2011

Sorry it was a rought weekend. Does your SIL know about your struggles?

I have a friend who is HORRIBLE when it comes to stuff like that...however I remind myself non-stop when I'm around her that she doesn't know of our sturggles and I can't let it get to me (as hard as I try). If she DID know of our struggles and still said that crap, I'd have no issue having it out with her.

Eags · November 2011

Ugh, that does sound like a rough Thanksgiving. When she asked if you and YH were trying, did she go any further with it (ie. how long)?

kellygksu · November 2011

I'm sorry--that sounds awful!

I got a little miffed at my SIL also. Just after I finished telling her that we are moving on to either injects or IVF, if this cycle doesn't work, and the costs, etc. associated with each, she tells me about her convo with her gyn at her annual. Apparently, he told her she'd be pregnant "like that" (snaps fingers.) Ummmmm....first of all, I think that's pretty irresponsible of a doctor to tell a 36 year old woman. And my SIL believes him, after all she knows we've been through. Really? You haven't had any testing whatsoever, but just assume you'll be KU as soon as you get of BCP. Well, she probably will. Not that I'd wish this IF crap on anyone else, but I just hate this perpetual belief that it's so easy.

Sorry I hijacked your post w/ own vent!!! And again, sorry about your weekend. People are idiots.

watkinae · November 2011

pantsarella:

Yeah, my SIL is pretty insensitive, too. She and my BIL had problems getting pregnant, too but refuses to acknowledge it. Now that we're having trouble, her opinion is that we shouldn't have kids since clearly "it's not meant to be".

It sucks to have family that's so insensitive. =(

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hate when people use the "it's not meant to be" phrase. That is the most stupid thing I've ever heard because clearly us ladies should be having children over 14 year olds that wind up pregnant every day. Is it really meant to be for them?

watkinae · November 2011

KdgTeacher:

Sorry it was a rought weekend. Does your SIL know about your struggles?

I have a friend who is HORRIBLE when it comes to stuff like that...however I remind myself non-stop when I'm around her that she doesn't know of our sturggles and I can't let it get to me (as hard as I try). If she DID know of our struggles and still said that crap, I'd have no issue having it out with her.

Well we started TTC in Aug of last year and I specifically remember SIL asking a couple months later if we were trying and I was honest and told her yes. Since then, she asks every time that we get together (we see each other about every other month). You would think she would put two and two together since we don't have a kid yet. But I guess she's not that bright.

watkinae · November 2011

Eags:

Ugh, that does sound like a rough Thanksgiving. When she asked if you and YH were trying, did she go any further with it (ie. how long)?

Although she asks me every time we see each other, she never asks anymore questions and I don't offer up anything else. I feel like when you have a conversation with her she really likes to talk and what you say goes in one ear and out the other. In a way I'm glad that she doesn't ask too many questions because if I totally opened up she would probably try to give me unsolicited advice like you should just get drunk and go at it, stand on your head, or stop stressing about it.

cupcake0325 · November 2011

gah...sorry you had to deal with this!! some people are just b*tches!

matthewsbride05 · November 2011

I think the "are you trying" question is one of the most intrusive, impolite questions someone can ask. If she asks again, I might say, "I'll let you know when it happens." My cousin-in-law asks on the rare occasions when we see her and also likes to share the anecdote that no one thought she could have kids (because she had cysts as a teen), but it only took her two weeks to get pregnant the first time...The second time, it didn't take her any time. I feel like saying "thanks for the Reader's Digest version."

Ms H13 · November 2011

matthewsbride05:
I think the "are you trying" question is one of the most intrusive, impolite questions someone can ask. If she asks again, I might say, "I'll let you know when it happens." My cousin-in-law asks on the rare occasions when we see her and also likes to share the anecdote that no one thought she could have kids (because she had cysts as a teen), but it only took her two weeks to get pregnant the first time...The second time, it didn't take her any time. I feel like saying "thanks for the Reader's Digest version."

I've decided that the next time someone asks this question I'm going to respond with 'well, we're still trying to figure out what goes where...'. I'm sorry your SIL is an insensitive B***.

lily8543 · November 2011

So sorry you had to put up with her over thanksgiving! I probably would have had to confront her about the "swimmer" comment. That could have been so hurtful to your DH! I'm afraid my SIL and BIL are going to be like this... And they announced to everyone this week they are "going to have a baby next year." ugh!

eponine7682 · November 2011

She sounds like a rude twatrocket. I'm sorry. (((hugs)))

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