Community› The Bump Message Boards› Babies on the Brain
Babies on the Brain
New Discussion

XP from Adoption: devastated for friend, need advice

PolishWonderPolishWonder member
in Babies on the Brain

Last week, a birth mother chose my friend and her DH to adopt her baby. The baby was born last Wednesday and my friends brought home their newborn DD from the hospital on Thanksgiving. Tonight, the birth mother changed her mind and they have to give the baby back tomorrow. We knew there was a possibility this could happen, but it's so utterly devastating.

I need to know what I can do for my friend to help her through this. I'm at a loss other than to mourn with her.
Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Report Reply to Post

Re: XP from Adoption: devastated for friend, need advice

  • jenna3016jenna3016 member

    I'm sorry I have no advice, but wanted to offer my condolences. 

    I can't imagine giving a newly adopted baby back to the birth mother.


     

     

    Om nom nom
    Photobucket Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • PolishWonderPolishWonder member
    i ended up telling her that the baby was fully and deeply loved by her and her dh for the first days of her life and that no one could take that away. my friend said that was the first thing said to her that made her feel like she'll get through this. Crying
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • wils0482wils0482 member
    Oh my gosh, those poor people!  How devastating.  :(


    image

    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    Report Reply
  • princess101princess101 member
    How devastating for her. I don't know what to say, really. Is there any hope the birth mother will change her mind again or is that hope gone if she really takes back the baby? I can't imagine doing that to someone. :(
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • PolishWonderPolishWonder member

    princess - i don't know. i would hope she might change her mind again, but i don't know. i know this is the 2nd child she's placed for adoption. she has an open adoption with that child (who's 10 years old) and this was also going to be an open adoption.

     i just went and hugged my DD. i can't imagine what they're going through.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Krista123105Krista123105 member
    Oh my gosh, that's horrible.  I'm so sorry.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Airmans WifeAirmans Wife

    This happened to a couple that is our friends. The birth mom chose them 2 weeks before the baby girl was born. They were present for the birth named her and took her home. A few days later they got a call from their lawyer saying the birth mom had changed her mind. They had to give their baby back. They were devastated, obviously. They returned all the baby things they purchased and changed the nursery back to an office. My friends said by changing the nursery back to an office that helped a lot because she didn't have to see an empty nursery anymore. A week later the birth mom changed her mind again, and gave the baby BACK to our friends, and now they have a beautiful 2 year old daughter. So it can happen that she will change her mind, maybe.

    I am so sorry for their loss. Hopefully they can find peace and get through this difficult time. And maybe the birth mom will change her mind again. 

    IMG_4833 IMG_0119 Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"