Single Mom Trying to Cope..Just need to talk to someone
LindseyG2010
member
I MISS MY SON!! 
His first birthday is coming up and the holidays as well and it kills me that I have to send him to his dad's to have a separate birthday party and the holidays with their family. Of course I wish we could have kept it together- I never wanted to be one of those parents that has kids from different fathers and has to "share" my time with my own child. My heart feels like it is pieces!
We had been arguing for a few weeks about a custody arrangement that we could both agree on. Basically I wanted what most courts order, every other weekend and one day a week. We agreed on every other weekend and two days a week. My baby boy will be with me every night during the week which is something I was insisting upon. And I will get every other weekend "off" to do my own thing. But he is "my thing". When I'm with him I think about how it would be nice to have a little break, but a whole weekend is hard to do. I think what makes it so hard is that it is "scheduled" if you know what I mean. I'm sure I am a control freak and this just proves that even more- but if I got to decide when I got a weekend "off", I don't think it would be so bad. It's just that he is kind of taken away from me...like last night (Thanksgiving) my family was over and we were all playing games and having a good time- everyone was visiting with my baby boy and enjoying his company...and then his father comes to pick him up. Everyone has to stop playing and spending time with him so he can go spend time with his daddy. I understand that we need to split the time up it's just so heartbreaking everytime he leaves with his dad.
I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling and repeating myself. I guess I just need someone to talk to. Someone who has been there and can give me some words of encouragement. Selfishly, I wish his father would just disappear so I didn't have to feel this way...but that probably isn't going to happen...so someone please help me
Re: Single Mom Trying to Cope..Just need to talk to someone
What you are feeling is completely normal. I have had all of the exact same thoughts and I am sure many others have as well.
My baby boy just turned a year old, and he started EOW with his father fairly early (some people disagree with it, but his dad is generally a good dad and deserved the time with him).
Right now, his dad has him in NC, and has been gone since monday. He will come home sunday afternoon but this is the longest he has ever been away from me and I am having a hard week. The holidays yesterday were pretty tough, but I just have to remind myself that he deserves to have the time with both families. I know it's tough, and there are times when I feel selfish and I don't want to share him but that is what I want, not what is best for him. It's hard to seperate those two things some days but you have too.
I have also tried to take some time this week to do things that are harder when he is around. I did a deep clean of my house, some relaxing shopping, reading, sleeping in.... it's ok to enjoy the me time when you have it.
Hang in there!