February 2012 Moms

need shower advice

back story: My dad's side of the family is completely crazy, beyond normal crazy. At My sister's baby shower, right after my parents split, my grandma on my dad's side cornered my mom and started yelling at her for breaking my dad's heart. It was really akward and my sister just wanted it to be over. We recently had a sprinkle for my sister for her 2nd child and decided not to invite my dad's side of the family. We still havent heard the end of it, they were so upset. But the sprinkle went really nice and my sister really enjoyed not having drama.

Well now that it is my turn, here is my problem, Do I invite both sides of the family adn hope for the best?

Do I skip inviting my dad's side of the family to avoid the drama?

or my sister suggested having a formal shower for my friends, my mom's side of the family and DH's family, then have a small brunch type shower for my dad's side of the family. This seems like a better choice but I dont want my sister to have to host 2 showers, especially right after the holidays.

Oh family drama, got to love it!

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Re: need shower advice

  • What your sister is suggesting sounds like the most drama - free idea. I would see if she truly minded doing that - and maybe make it very low key so it's not too much stress on your sister. But it sounds like any other way would bring on WAY too much drama.
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    Lilypie - (K6Db)

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  • I would def go with your sisters idea! That way no one gets left out and you can skip the drama.

    GL 

  • Definately the 2nd option- two showers.  Since your sister suggested it I might guess she woudln't mind the little extra work so that the shower can go well and be stress free- that would be worth it to me.
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  • The only reason that I wouldn't do two showers is because it sets a bad precedent - what happens for events in your child's life, like the baptism, first birthday, etc? Will you host two events because some people can't behave themselves?

    I would personally say to your dad's family "I know you were all upset that you weren't invited to the sprinkle. There will be a shower for me that everyone will be invited to, but I don't want any of the drama that was at sister's first shower. I know that shower was right after mom and dad split up, so I'm hoping that now that time has passed everyone can be civil to each other. After all, there will be a lot of events in my child's life that I will want everyone to attend, but I won't be able to invite everyone if we can't all get along." 

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  • If your sister is willing to throw you 2 showers to avoid the drama I say go for it. Based on what's happended in the past, this idea seems like the best compromise to me.
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  • I would just do seperate showers for each side.  That way everyone is included and no drama!  Also, showers are just fun!

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  • imagebearsbearsbears:

    While your sister's idea of the 2 separate showers is more work for her, it definitely sounds like a lot less stress and drama.

    I've learned that with family, sometimes the less drama way is a lot less work in the long run.

    Absolutely this!

    ---
    ♥ Married since June 2009 ♥
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