Our showers will be for both of us and that's probably the case for them. But, every couple is different of course. You could assume both will be there and just ask a clarifying question like, "any particular shower games you both like?"....that would cause them to clarify, if for them, only one wants to attends.
I'm not pregnant yet and so I haven't had a baby shower, but I do know some non-carrying moms are (rightly) sensitive about whether they are perceived as the child's "real" mother. Excluding the non-carrying mom from the baby shower might make her feel like you don't think she's the baby's mom too, so I would be careful about that.
If you think the non-carrying mom might not *want* to go (my wife hates that girly stuff), it's fine to give her the option, but just make sure she knows she is welcome and deserves to be there if she wants to be.
Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011 9 IUIs = 9 BFNs IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31! EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14 *Everyone welcome*
Ours is in January, and we will both be going. In addition, it's going to be a both gender party. Don't really understand having it be for women only--whoever wants to go should go. Whether it's two men, two women, a woman and man, etc.
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Re: Baby shower question
I'm not pregnant yet and so I haven't had a baby shower, but I do know some non-carrying moms are (rightly) sensitive about whether they are perceived as the child's "real" mother. Excluding the non-carrying mom from the baby shower might make her feel like you don't think she's the baby's mom too, so I would be careful about that.
If you think the non-carrying mom might not *want* to go (my wife hates that girly stuff), it's fine to give her the option, but just make sure she knows she is welcome and deserves to be there if she wants to be.
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*