Perspective from ladies in academia?

laurenes · November 2011

I wanted to get some perspective out there from any ladies who might be students or planning for/already have a career in academia.

I graduated with my BA back in Spring. I had thought I'd go back within a year to get my masters in library science (I would like to work at an academic library), but DH's advanced degree is taking longer than we thought, and we didn't want the financial stress of both being in school at the same time, so long story short, my first opportunity to go back will be next Fall. The programs I'm looking at range from 2 to 3.5 years (if you're on schedule). We're currently in our mid twenties, and I had originally thought that we'd start our family within the next two years - which is now the middle to end of my hypothetical masters degree.

While I've read that some people have had children while in grad school and had a positive experience, by and large the background I've dug up is that grad school is a super child-unfriendly environment, and pregnant women/mothers even face a lot of discrimination. In addition to this, when DH graduates, the job he's trying to land will involve, at least initially, a significant amount of travel. I'm currently in a job that, while by far not my ideal, pays a fairly comfortable salary, is fairly secure, and has pretty good benefits. My office is also about 80% female and nobody loses their mind when someone has to take maternity (there's always at least 5 women on maternity leave at any given time - office of 700+). We're also pretty close to family, which wouldn't necessarily be the case when I go to grad school.

I'm now trying to adjust my expectations for when we'll be starting, which leaves me, I figure, with essentially 3 choices 1) Try to juggle grad school and starting a family at the same time, 2) Bump back baby making into my early 30s so that I can get my degree and establish a career pre-family, or c) Have a family and wait until they are school-aged to go back and get my degree.

Sorry this is getting long, but to the working mom's out there who had to pursue advanced degrees for their jobs - what did you find that works? what was your experience? any recommendations or insights?

groovygrl · November 2011

Well, this is totally biased b/c this is what I did (sort of) but I would try to get the education over with before kids if you have the time/means, since you're still young. I got my master's while I was still single so it was not really an issue for me, but if you could start in Fall 2012, you could probably start TTC in the last year of your program (whatever year that is, if you do 2 or 3.5? why such a difference? are some full time & some part time? I'd go for the full time if you can just for the time factor) and then deliver LO after you finish if all goes ok with TTC, then you focus on the LO without the distractions of school/child care concerns and then get your job.

Something to look into is whether programs let you take a semester off or whatever you might want with a newborn, or if you need to continue through or risk really prolonging the program b/c of the timing of course offerings. Counting on pregnancy to occur exactly when you want it with a planned delivery month so it doesn't interfere with school/work is not the best plan for many women since it doesnt always work out that way.

Also, if you won't be living near family or other supports while you're in school & choose to have a child while in school, that will make things more challenging.

Waiting until your kids are school aged is obviously a great option for a lot of people but since you don't have kids yet & seem very motivated to go back now, I'd personally opt to do it first while you can focus on that & not have to split your attention & add more stress to your life.

Just my .02.

laurenes · November 2011

Thanks for the perspective! that' pretty much what I'm leaning towards anyway. The weird thing with the different time lines - some programs are library science only, which only takes 2 years. I would prefer to get a dual masters in archival science/history - history was my BA and I like the idea of the interdisciplinary approach - but of course it seems like it will take FOREVER.

shaindelr · November 2011

I can only tell you what I did, but different things work for different people. I got this position six years ago and got tenure last year, so then I had a "tenure baby." I was 33 when I got pregnant and 34 when I had him. My guy is a SAHD who teaches guitar part-time in the evenings and works as a freelance musician on weekends.

It's really tight living on one academic salary. (As in REALLY tight.) But it's working for us for now. Our plan is that next academic year, Jared will go back to school, and Liam will go to daycare maybe part-time or maybe we'll have a babysitter come to our house while Jared is in school. (He's former military, so the GI bill pays for his school).

I know that I couldn't have handled grad school and a baby at the same time, but I went to a REALLY competitive program. (Top 5 in the country.)

I'm very happy that things worked out the way they did. That being said, it's the night before Thanksgiving, and I was just in my classroom to make sure that no students showed up. Now, Jared and our friend the music prof are playing music at a brew pub, so I've gotta run. (It's sad when you know your 7 month-old is at the party without you.)

Good luck and feel free to message me! Oh, and Julianna Baggott has some excellent writing on this. Just do a search for her articles on being a mom and in academia!

Comet4658 · November 2011

Do you realize that the majority of jobs in academia for Library Science also require a second masters? Also the job market is extremely competitive right now.

If you are still fairly young, I would wait until after your masters. However, I don't think anyone at grad school would have an issue with a pregnant woman. You could just take a semester off for your maternity leave (depending on the timing).

shannm · November 2011

I think either #1 or #2 would be good choices. I don't think you should put off your education.

Frankly, I have a hard time believing that getting a masters in library science will be so demanding that you won't be able to start a family at the same time. Would you foresee having to put in more than 40-50/hrs a week for your degree on a regular basis? I am assuming that you wouldn't be working in a job for money in addition though. That would be rough.

Do you know anyone that went through a similar program? Can you ask around to get a feel for the demands and hours of the program? Would you anticipate night classes? Would you be able to afford daycare if you were not working?

Personally, I have known women have children in graduate school for their biomedical PhDs, in their science postdocs (including me) and during their medical residencies (I would argue the hardest because of hours and lack of flexibility - but they do it).

What kind of discrimination would you expect in that kind of environment? I work in a very male heavy environment. In general my peers are very supportive. I have experienced some stupid comments and assumptions from my mentor but he does that regardless of my pregnancy.

Having said that, you are really young! If you don't like the idea of going to school and being a new mom, then wait! Take this time to really enjoy being young and married. Go on trips, organize lots of happy hours and dinner dates! I am glad that I did not have a baby during grad school. First of all, I was not married so maybe that changes my perspective on things. However, I was working crazy irregular hours (pushing 70-80 hrs/week) and play really hard too. I was just enjoying being young and focusing on my degree. It took me six years and I finished when I was 28.

Emilia0101 · November 2011

I finished my grad degree pre baby, but here are a few things to think about. What are the expectations of your program. For my thesis I had to meet with my advisor twice a week, constant revisions, and I had an internship as well. The classes were flexible as far as times I could schedule, but it was very hard to miss class ever because of the work load. I really don't think their is ever going to be the perfect time to start TTC and have a baby, but I would make sure that your husband or another family member was available to be your back up if your child was sick, etc. If you are the sole caregiver I could see grad school and being a parent very stressful in a tradition school setting. If you could complete your degree in an online format that could be a good option as well.

chillyupnorth · November 2011

The graduate program that I was in didn't allow time for babies (IMHO), but I know plenty of people who have done it. If I were you, I would plan to wait to TTC until after you finish your education. There will never be a perfect time to TTC for most people, as there will always be education, a new job, new house, debt, etc, but I think having a new baby in grad school would be particularly challenging. I don't know that there was discrimination against parents or pregnant women in the program that I was in, but I know it would have been hard to be a new mom and a graduate student.

Maybride2 · November 2011

We started TTC about 8 months before I was to graduate from my Masters program (and got pregnant the first month TTC, baby was born 1 month after I graduated). Honestly - it was hard enough being in grad school while pregnant, I can't imagine doing it with a baby. There was a woman in my cohort who did have a baby while in the program, and she dropped out.

And this was online, so we didn't even have to worry about going to class and having childcare.

Obviously women do it and succeed, but it's hard to do. I don't like making my life unnecessarily hard.

I would personally wait until you're done with school before having a child, but I don't understand why you and your husband can't both be in school at the same time. Both my husband and I worked full time through both our undergrad and grad degrees, is that not a possibility for you? And I would NOT want to be home with a newborn at a time when my husband would be traveling a lot.....talk about stressful.

zarapipe · November 2011

I work at a university, not on the academic side, but in student affairs. I am currently taking my first class towards my masters degree. I am only taking one class this semester and am going to try to do 2 next semester. I don't want to do more than 2 as I am still working full time and want to be home most nights. It is not ideal and I wish I had done it before I had kids, but it is what it is and eventually I will graduate. It is going to take me about 5 years to finish a 2 year program if I do some summer classes. Do it now!

brachatzipora · November 2011

Lurking from TTGP... I just picked up the book Mama, Ph.D. which is women writing about motherhood and academia. It doesn't give you any answers but I would definitely recommend it. I don't have any answers either, but glad I'm not the only one tackling questions like this!

catsinawindow · November 2011

I think it highly depends on your grad program, department, and life situation about how easy having a child in grad school is.

I'm a PhD student in a biomedical graduate program and had my first child while in grad school. We decided to have our first during grad school b/c we knew we wanted to have a few kids and due to daycare costs, would need to space them out a bit, so I wanted to get started "early" (although, I'm 26, it's not exactly early, lol). Also, I have a wonderful, understanding advisor and the flexibility of my schedule made it seem like a good time.

Honestly, the hardest part, IMO, is the money (or lack there-of). DH is a teacher, and while I get a stipend, it's not much, so we're not rolling in the dough. Daycare is EXPENSIVE if you haven't looked into it before. We cut our costs by doing 3 days at an in-home daycare and me, my sister, and DH all take shifts watching DS the other two days/week. Depending on your flexibility/financial situation this may be easier or harder for you.

I never really felt much discrimination in my department. I also work in a very child-friendly department, though, and in fact, two other grad students had babies in the year following mine!

I timed TTC so that i would be done with all my classes, teaching, and my candidacy exam before getting pregnant. This way, all I'm doing is research and my schedule is more flexible and 9-5ish. Honestly, I don't work more than 40 hours/week and I'm doing just fine in my academic career. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I do feel like a lot of people don't use their time at work effectively in academia and don't actually need to be at work as many hours as they are (unpopular opinion, I know, and I'm not pointing fingers at anyone here, just what I see around my own department.)

Anyway, feel free to ask me any more specific questions, but i think, depending on your specific situation, having a kid in grad school is definately do-able. You know better than anyone else if you'll be able to handle it. I've never once regretted my decision to have DS now. And FWIW, my advisor had three kids one during grad school, one as a post-doc, and a final as a pre-tenure professor and she says hands-down the grad school kid was the easiest. Good luck with whatever you decide!

KL777 · November 2011

I ddn't neccesarily plan it this way but I ended up doing your option #2. It worked out great for me because I already had an established career in higher ed (academic administrator) and a master's degree when I had DS.

After he was born I worked as a SAHM for three years and when he started preschool I started back to work outside of the home---and it has worked out great.

It's an individual and personal choice.

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