New and not sure if this is the right place...

Wookie18 · November 2011

Hi everyone,

I am struggling with where the appropriate board is to post this, here is a brief history and hopefully if this isn't the right board someone can direct me to the best one.

I have fibroids, specifically 1 grape-size, submucosal fibroid in my uterine lining. I was originally to ttc and see if I could actually get pg. Well, we were able to conceive, but m/c at 8.5 weeks. (I found a new ob/gyn after this.) Their were chromosomal abnormalities, but my ob/gyn stated I would likely have m/c in the 2nd trimester due to the location and size of the fibroid. I have opted for surgery in a few weeks to remove the fibroid, based on the fact that without surgery I will very likely continue to miscarry. I am having a Da Vinci myomectomy. I am having a really hard time emotionally. Specifically with the chance that if there is significant blood loss, etc, she stated they will do a hysterectomy. Unfortunately, significant blood loss has been a major part of my problems.

I am trying to stay positive, but I'm finding it really, really hard. I feel like I need to prepare for the possibility of a hysterectomy, so if I wake up and that's what happened I won't be in shock or as devastated. DH is being as supportive as he can, but he's hurting too. My mom does not understand and is angry with me because I'm unhappy. I feel so selfish for being sad, but we don't have any children and I am so afraid of the potential "finality". I'm just feeling really alone right now and if anyone has any advice or words of encouragement I would really appreciate it.

NMscubagirl · November 2011

You are certainly welcome here. I hope the surgery goes perfectly for you and you get to realize your dream very soon. ((hugs))

lsgabriel · November 2011

It's as good as anyplace to start. Welcome to the board and sorry for your loss.

Definitely get a second opinion. I have subserosal fibroids, and the doctor who discovered them told me she was going to have to "cut me open and take them out". Second option doctor recommended not having surgery until I was done having children.

You should feel really comfortable with the surgery option. I would also suggest that OB/GYN might also be (unnecessarily) preparing you for the worst. My aunt, cousin, sister, and several sorority sisters have had surgery for fibroids, and none of them had hysterectomies.

Good luck!

nino770 · November 2011

Welcome and GL!!

ycristina84 · November 2011

I'm so sorry you are going through this! I also think you need to seek a second opinion. First of all, no doctor is allowed to simply take out your uterus without your permission. If you go to an RE that specializes in cases like yours their main goal is to get you ready for babies and will try to mantling and keep your reproductive system as intact as they can. Are you simply seeing and ob or a surgeon? Different specialties see things very differently in the land of "necessary".

Like PP said, I know several people that have had fibroids and none of them has hysterectomies. So, don't take that as the final outcome.

You are not selfish. This is scary, devastating and life altering. You feel broken right now, and your mom is possibly someone you may not need to be around right now. You are allowed to grieve, cry, vent, be angry...Any emotion you feel is the right emotion because no one can tell you how you should feel during this time. There is no "normal" when facing infertility ,and if there is, I have yet to see it. Go seek a different opinion, go see a therapist/counselor, take some "you" time by doing yoga/reading/ whatever makes you happy, and things will start looking slightly more positive. Good luck! I hope you get what you want and you get healthy quickly and with no problem!

PrettyAccountant · November 2011

Hi and welcome - I am sorry you are having such issues but as PP said - Get a second opinion. I also have fibroids - huge ones. They can't find one of my ovaries most of the time because I have a tennis ball size one hiding it. Have you met with an RE? I would meet with one because they may be able to help plan out alternatives for the future. Possible egg freezing in the event that you need the surgery and end up bleeding too much. Get a second opinion and even a third and meet with an RE about options in the event of worst case scenario.

I pray everything goes well and wish you the best of luck.

Rachel

Wookie18 · November 2011

Thank you all so much for your feedback and positive words. It actually made me feel better just to write all of my feelings out!

I should have provided a bit more information, this is my 3rd ob/gyn in a year. I sought this clinic out out because they are a part of the Midwest Fibroid Center (I live in MN). They do specialize in infertility as well. But I can't help but think that they are a bit "surgery happy". DH thinks I'm crazy for thinking this. But I kind of think they want to use the Da Vinci method because "they can".

My previous ob/gyn surgeon attempt to remove it hysteroscopically in June and was unsuccessful. Which was extremely frustrating. She was the one who encouraged me to try and get pg and go from there. I sought a new dr. because I really didn't feel 100% confident in the previous dr. after the failed attempt to remove the fibroid. I should also mention I spent the first 2 months of the year bleeding non-stop, ended up getting the 3-month Lupron shot to stop the bleeding and try and shrink the fibroid. The lupron did not work. My current dr. keeps saying that it's the location of the fibroid that is the problem, she says it's in a really bad spot for conception and for supporting a pregnancy. I'm really frustrated because I don't understand how removing it via Da Vinci is the best option for submucosal? I've been researching like crazy for any bits of information but everything is so generic or the same thing over and over.

I do believe that my dr. is doing this so that I can have the best chance at having a baby. DH and I have made it very clear that our ultimate goal is 1 baby. If we can have 1 baby after all of this we will be thrilled - and done.

Wookie18 · November 2011

@PetraStonegirl: Thank you so much for sharing this! You have no idea how much it means to hear from someone who actually knows what I am feeling. THANK YOU! I am going to bring this up with my ob/gyn and ask why she is so adamant that she remove it via Da Vinci and not hysterscopically? Like I just mentioned, I had a previous surgeon try and was unsuccessful, but considering my new dr. is a specialist I would think she would be more successful and want to avoid cutting into my uterus? I really would like to bounce back in a few days vs. weeks. And then the wait to start ttc.

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